Serene of the Oakland Serenes

Via supergee, "Things no one will tell fat girls."

I have noticed a shift in public discourse over my lifetime from "fat is bad/ugly/disgusting" to "well, the important thing is to be healthy. if you're healthy, then maybe fat is all right," to "fuck that, I don't owe anyone a healthy or small body. my body is mine." I love this shift, and I associate it with firecat who shared the phrase/concept "healthism" with me many years ago and woke me up out of my stupid judgmentalism about people who don't make a healthy body their first priority.

I am learning how to use my medications to maximize the amount of usable time I'll have in each day. This is a skill I never wanted to have to learn, but that I'm happy to have learned.

Today, this meant I was able to cook breakfast, start a pot of beans, go do laundry, do some homework, take a long walk, and make cornbread before the meds wore off. Now that they've worn off, my physical work is pretty much done and I can drive to the potluck/poetry reading tonight and just rest my tired, sore body. Could be worse!

Which reminds me: if you're local and a woman, there's a poetry reading tonight that you may want to attend. I'm giving a friend a ride, and we could add you if you wanna go. Details at https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=304971229606267&id=188016744635050

You may have surmised that I'm enamored of Harriet Jacobs. Here's an annotated bibliography I put together. It's short, but maybe I'll add to it over time.

( Annotated Bibliography, Harriet Jacobs )

The way I think this will work is I'll post each of my essays, lit reviews, or link lists under a cut, and tag the living daylights out of each, so that the collection can grow organically. I'm pondering how to best use tags (compound author:name tags, maybe?), so if you have suggestions, please pipe up. I want this to be pretty awesome in just ten weeks, so I'm open to tutelage.

First up is an essay I wrote for a Black Lit class about Harriet Jacobs, drawing on four articles about her work.

( Harriet Jacobs on the Authority of Black Women )

Here's how this works. You comment, I give you an age (please tell me how old you are, or risk having to time-travel to find out the answers) and you respond to the questions with what applied to you back then, and what's true now.


wordweaverlynn gave me 23. ( I turned 23 in late 1989. )

Three actual events from the past week or so, put forward as an example of how and how not to respond when you're called out on your -isms:

1) Friendly acquaintance, white, posts a joke on her Facebook whose punchline relies on how "white" Michael Jackson was. I point out that it's rude and racially insensitive to make comments about how someone is or is not black enough. Her friends tell me to get a sense of humor. She tells me she's not racist. I unfriend her, not as a punishment, but because, really, who needs it, and we weren't close or anything. This is her response, locked down so I can't answer: "Out of 830 friends on FB, you were the only person who found that Michael Jackson comment racist. It wasn't. You took it in a way that it was not intended. I apologize for having offended you, but if I didn't rank high enough on your respect list for you to give me the benefit of the doubt, I'm better off not having you in my life anyway."

2) Friend posts a wordplay joke on his Facebook whose punchline relies on the assumption that being fat is a horrible thing that should be avoided. I point out that it's a fatphobic joke and I dislike it (okay, I may have said "Yuck! Fatphobia! Ptui!"). He says, "Oh, wow, sorry. Should've seen that. I took it down. Thanks for pointing it out." I reply, "Thanks. No worries; if I know you, you were focused on the wordplay."

3) Family member talks about "gay marriage." I say "Not gay marriage, same-sex (or same-gender) marriage," and he says "Right. Thanks for the correction." The conversation continues normally.

My point? That I'm always right and it doesn't pay to disagree with me.

No, wait, that's wrong.

My point? That we all say stupid shit sometimes -- yes, even (or perhaps especially) I do! -- but the best response when you have that pointed out is not "No way, you're being oversensitive. No one ELSE thought it was stupid!" but "Oh, wow, yeah. Sorry."

I can't count the times I've had to say "Oops, I fucked up. Sorry about that. I'll try harder." I could make you a MUCH longer list about the times I've had to say "Sorry for dismissing you. Sorry for using sexist/racist/whateverist language." Every time I've said it, it's felt less like I was a complete failure, and more like I was doing a good job at being a grown-up and taking responsibility for my flawed behavior. And I hope it means I'm more careful about that kind of thing now. When I offend people, I want it to be on purpose, and I want it to be the Powers That Be that are getting my barbs, not the people who are the targets of the oppression I claim to be fighting.

I like this thing, so I'll do it every Wednesday that I remember.

(Just noticed there are 666 messages in my DW inbox. Rock on.)

What I'm reading now

Existence, David Brin. Drops into a highly jargoned world from the get-go, so I was afraid for a chapter or two that I wouldn't pick it up, because that's not a comfortable mode for me. Now, as hitchhiker put it, it gets better with each chapter. I had a Snowcrash moment in the first chapter, in which I was afraid I wouldn't find anyone to give a shit about. Now there are several characters who have grabbed me. Good signs.

That Penn Jillette thing I mentioned last time, which is still fine, but nothing special.

So You Created A Wormhole: The Time Traveler's Guide to Time Travel. Silly fun. Nothing to write home about.

Ancient Evenings, Norman Mailer. This one was accidental. I couldn't find Existence one morning on my way to the bus, and grabbed something at random off the shelf. My mother must have given this to me. At any rate, the first few chapters are gripping! Again with the in medias res thing, but it works, because the protagonist is—well, I'll leave you to discover that.

What I'll read next:

Very likely my schoolbooks for next quarter, which I may as well list here. The new (and my final!) quarter starts April 2.

Canterbury Tales

Author: Chaucer
Edition: 2nd
ISBN: 9780393925876

Engineering Your Future: Comprehensive

Author: Oakes
Edition: 5th
ISBN: 9781881018865

Norton Anthology of Amer Lit: Shorter

Author: Baym
Edition: 8th
ISBN: 9780393918854

Norton Shakespeare: Romances & Poems

Author: Greenblatt
Edition: 2nd
ISBN: 9780393931433

All done with Black Lit class, yay! My paper could have been better (and longer). I decided it was good enough. We'll see what the professor thinks. Now all I have left is the rest of poetry class: 1) revise three poems for my portfolio; 2) write a poem for the anonymity game (in which we don't put our names on our poems and classmates try to guess who wrote which); 3) write up the poetry reading I went to the other night; and 4) put together a submission for the poetry magazine on campus -- we get credit for submitting to that.

But for tonight? I'm done. Done done done. Bring on the vintage SNL!

The Best Job Ever is being really good to/for me lately. When I went full-time in August, I maybe should've cut back on school hours, but I really really want to graduate this spring (13 weeks from TODAY!) and so I'm doing both, full-time, and um...

tired.

Anyway.

I love this job. I'm not perfect at it, but it's satisfying, and I'm good at it, and my bosses and cow-orkers are amazing, most of them, and in 13 weeks, I'm gonna be so much better at it that they will all fall down and worship me.

Did I mention I'm tired?

The way I do cons is not typical, but I'm not a typical congoer. For one thing, I've only been to two cons in my life -- or five, depending on how you count: two alt.polycons and all three iterations of FOGcon, the third of which was this past weekend. For another thing, I go to this small science-fiction (and mystery and other genre fiction) convention and I'm not a fan. That is, I read a lot of mysteries and a little bit of science fiction, but neither is a "fandom" for me, and I haven't spent any time in fannish circles except by dint of my friends mostly being fans. At any rate, I hear that "the real con happens outside of the panels," and that people spend a lot of rewarding time reconnecting with all their fannish friends and/or hooking up, and if you know me at all, you know that's not exactly my speed.

( Oops, better add a cut tag. )