Jan. 2nd, 2017

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(Word-nerd note: I always kind of thought "volunteerism" was a misspelling of "voluntarism" and didn't know until I looked it up just now that they're distinct words with different meanings.)

I like volunteering. In my church youth group, I was always the one who stayed after to clean up, or came early to set up, or helped in the kitchen or the nursery. My fave part of a party is working behind the scenes to keep serving dishes and drinking glasses full. My fave thing about the holidays is cooking for people.

This is not altruistic, or not exactly. When I have a job to do, I don't stress nearly as much about the social interactions involved in being around people. I mean, I like helping people because it's the right/good thing to do, but one reason I do it is purely selfish: I can have human interaction without wondering what I'm supposed to be doing/saying in any particular moment.

My next volunteer gig will be with Border Angels, an organization that provides water and other aid to undocumented immigrants and others affected by our immigration system.

If, that is, I can get over my social anxiety for long enough to actually either turn in the job application or show up to a one-off event.

I'll do it, I will, but it's hard. I managed it for other volunteer gigs (AIDS Foundation, Women's Cancer Resource Center, etc.) and I'll manage it for this, but it's just... hard.

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serene

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