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tl;dr I may have found a treatment for my vertigo that I don't totally hate )
serene: true love (true love)
Step one: get symptoms (palpitations, etc) and take the day off work to shake it off.

Step two: a couple days later, go to work even though you're not feeling very good

Step three: get more severe symptoms, including shortness of breath, and call the advice nurse

Step four, the glamorous bit: call 911 and get wheeled through campus by EMTs to the waiting ambulance

Step five: ?

Step six: PROFIT!

Spent most of yesterday and today in the hospital. Yesterday, they told me I was no longer in a-fib as I'd been when the EMTs got me.

Then they told me I had blood clots in my lungs.

Then they said never mind, no you don't, maybe in your legs.

No blood clots in my legs.

They think maybe I'm having more episodes of my heart conditions (SVT & A-fib), so they're going to put me on a monitor for a couple weeks to make sure.

Not fun, but I'm home, happily, and watching reruns of Columbo. It could be worse.
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So I want to talk about jobhunting. This, I know, can be traumatic (or possibly worse—boring) to read about, so it's all under......the cut. )
Thoughts are welcome. Whether or not I answer your thoughts will depend on my level of energy.
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Medical fu, mildly graphic, but skippable )

Lady bits

Jun. 8th, 2014 10:05 pm
serene: mmmm, MIMP! (mimp)
Medical TMI and a little grieving. No penalty for not clicking. )

In better news, I have no headache at the moment, my house is clean, I had shrimp for dinner (mmmm, mimp!) and I'm in a basically good mood. Hope all is well with you.
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Have been spending most of my online time elsewhere, but I miss this place. No, not Facebook. SparkPeople.

Health and food talk, probably not interesting to anyone who's not me, and possibly triggering to folks who prefer not to read diet talk. )

So yeah, I'm back. I'll still keep my food and body stuff mostly on SparkPeople, but I wanted to give a little update on where I've been.


Apr. 13th, 2013 03:03 pm
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I am learning how to use my medications to maximize the amount of usable time I'll have in each day. This is a skill I never wanted to have to learn, but that I'm happy to have learned.

Today, this meant I was able to cook breakfast, start a pot of beans, go do laundry, do some homework, take a long walk, and make cornbread before the meds wore off. Now that they've worn off, my physical work is pretty much done and I can drive to the potluck/poetry reading tonight and just rest my tired, sore body. Could be worse!

Which reminds me: if you're local and a woman, there's a poetry reading tonight that you may want to attend. I'm giving a friend a ride, and we could add you if you wanna go. Details at


Apr. 9th, 2011 02:09 pm
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1) Probably sick. Fortunately, also off work for a few days.

2) [personal profile] maevele speaks for me.

3) Listening to an album start to finish. I don't do that much. Really enjoying it.

4) The boyfiend and the kid cleaned the house yesterday, so when I got home from a late and frustrating day at work, there was clean and peace to come home to. I love them a very huge lot.

5) I keep looking at my financial aid offer letter and shaking my head with disbelief. It's a lot of money, and a lot of help in making my long-awaited dream come true. I am in awe.

6) That said, I really really really am feeling impatient for April 29th to come, so that I can know where I'll be going to school!


Feb. 18th, 2011 04:35 pm
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4-day weekend!

Things I plan/hope/want to do, now that I'm on the getting-well track and have 4 days off:

1) Make sure I've got all my college-admissions stuff in order (note to self; really need to see what the SIR deadline is for Hayward CSUEB)
2) See if I have the oomph to make a chapbook to sell (or give away) at [ profile] wtfpotatoes's FOGcon booth
3) Play lots and lots of Rise of Atlantis on the iPad
4) See [personal profile] wild_irises and [personal profile] stonebender, not necessarily in that order
5) Read poetry; write poetry.
6) Bake a key lime pie with the kid
7) Help the kid make buttons to sell at her booth
8) If I have the energy, do some tidying up here; if not, fuck it. :-)
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Joining [personal profile] jae in being up way too early. There's a balance I have trouble striking when the pain's bad--if i don't rest enough, it's a bad thing, but if I lie in bed a lot, I awaken at 5 in the morning and everything hurts. *sigh*

Can't take my meds yet -- hormones first, then an hour before food/meds. See how glamorous my life is?
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Pretty nearly perfect day today.

* Pain levels are low

* My mom's going to be getting a knee or two replaced, which may end her horrible pain, which keeps her up nights

* Two-year cancer checkup, at which the doc says there's not only no sign of cancer, but 99% of thyroid cancer recurrences happen in the first two years, so there's a 1% chance I'll have to deal with this cancer again some time in my life, beyond monitoring, and basically, I have, in his words, "licked the cancer".

* Lovely walk in the rain with someone who just got paid. Ambled through the neighborhood to several great places, spending a little bit at a time of his money as we went:

- our newly opened neighborhood cheese shop, where we got grilled cheese and tomato soup and sweet iced tea
- Peet's, to get coffee (they don't sell coffee (yet?) at the Sacred Wheel)
- Creative Reuse, where we got a couple books, some mint tins to use as dice boxes, and some art supplies for the kid
- Clausen House, where we didn't buy anything, but we did drool over some number of things
- Tara's, where I had a lovely little scoop of raspberry sorbet, even though [personal profile] james_huber thinks it's too cold for ice cream
- Casper's, where we had a second-lunch snackish thing while exclaiming over what a perfect day we were having

Forget the fact that the IRS has written to tell me I have two weeks to give them $929. Forget that completely, because today is a GOOD day, and I'll deal with that tomorrow.
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Notes of little interest, but hey, [personal profile] badgerbag & [personal profile] vito_excalibur say they like the minutiae, so here they are:

1) Slept until something like 4pm yesterday; the only time I can sleep that long is when I'm sick, so I'm glad I pretty much slept through it. Today was spent sitting in one place almost the whole day (with brief forays into the kitchen to put away dishes; [personal profile] james_huber won't let me wash them because it eats up my hands), writing FIVE blog posts and fixing some of the static pages on the blog. Maybe now I'll work on some of the design stuff; I suck at design stuff, but I can't afford a designer, so I'll see what I can do.

2) I can hear the kid in her room, singing in Japanese to her WoW friends. Singing really prettily. I haven't heard her sing since she was a small child, and this is kind of choking me up.

3) Famous people (at least people famous in the circles I run in) talk to me on Twitter, and it's kinda fun to be part of their day. I wasn't expecting that to be anything I gave a rat's ass about.

4) Keep feeling like I don't know how to maneuver socially at work. Have decided to just let it be. They like my work and my work ethic; they'll have to just put up with my weirdness.

5) I don't buy new books very often, but I bought Dorie Greenspan's Around My French Table for French Fridays with Dorie, and it's really beautiful, and so far, very good. I'm only a chapter in yet, though. (The gougeres turned out really well.)
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So the ibuprofen? Totally working. For the first time in about 7 years, I slept through the night two nights in a row.
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Amused whinging )
serene: mailbox (Default)
Health whine )


Jul. 17th, 2010 09:49 pm
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1) Last night, my ankle popped. For less than a second, it hurt so badly I wanted to throw up, and then it was fine. And it's been fine since. I can walk! Hallelujah. I'm still taking it easy, but the difference is huge, and I'm so relieved.

2) Still having fun building the blog. LOTS of fun. (mom doesn't read DW/LJ, and it's almost ready to launch anyway). The kid is working on a logo/banner theme.

3) And even having a little fun on Twitter (@momfood). I never wanted one for personal stuff (still don't), but it's fun connecting with other food bloggers and with famous chefs and geeks.

4) Got a letter from the IRS today. The short take is they said no to seven of the documents I sent. There's a chance I could get new documents together in the ten days they've given me to appeal this, but I'm not sure I can, and I'm not going to decide about it tonight; it's not worth crying over right now.

5) The kid has been making real money doing commissions for people on DeviantArt. She is a professional artist! She's amused and a bit turned off by the themes of some of the drawings, but she takes the work seriously and spends a lot of time and effort on them. You can see some of them at

6) Things have been REALLY rough in [personal profile] stonebender's side of the family. Seems like there's never a time when all three of them are well at the same time. I wish I had a magic health wand, you know?
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Mom says the pain isn't even comparable to last time. It hurt a lot last night, but now she's not even having to take the max pain meds (though she is taking some). She's on complete bedrest, and will be in the hospital at least 10 days.

The Best Grandboss Ever wrote to ask me how mom is. I love my job, to which I called in sick today because I was up all night coughing. I really NEED to kick this cold before tomorrow night's 500-mile drive. Really truly. So today, I'm going to do rest and soup, then more rest, then more soup.
serene: fuck cancer (fuck cancer)
Behind the cuts, numbers and musing, for my records and the interest of people who like reading test results, ya big weirdos ;-)

First, the cancer/heart stuff... )

...then the pain/inflammation and the rickets. )
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Went to see the periodontist today. My teeth are gonna cost a buttmouthload of money; I'll be getting that surgery in June.

Also in June, my next radioactive-iodine scan.

June/July, probably two months of furlough, right after paying a huge chunk of money for dental work.

Emo squid is emo. Your job is to cheer me up. Get to work!

Just kidding. Here's what I'm gonna do to cheer *myself* up, and you can help if you want.

1) Get some housework done so that when I come home from San Diego, it's more likely to be non-messy here
2) Work on my cooking blog so that I can have fun blogging the pretty severe financial restrictions we're about to enact around here, rather than moping about it
3) Pack for my trip to see my mommy tomorrow!
4) Take lots of rest breaks, because that's what Spring Break is for
5) Let my family be nice to me
serene: fuck cancer (fuck cancer)
Tomorrow (well, really, today, since I'm still up at 2:30am): Get EKG; start beta blockers

Soon: Get echocardiogram; get holter monitor; increase thyroid meds

Tonight: Find it impossible to sleep because my heart wants to beat to its own funky rhythm, scary as hell

(The heart stuff is all to make it possible to increase the thyroid meds, which suppress the risk of cancer recurrence while simultaneously making my heart do all kinds of weird shit.)

I fucking hate this.

[Edited to add: I really do know that staying awake isn't safer than falling asleep. Try to convince my hindbrain of that.]


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