Speaking as the person to whom that comment was originally addressed, as someone who found in extremely upsetting, and as someone who has spent an unfortunate amount of mental energy contemplating it and trying to find a more positive reading than what I'm actually getting, grammatically (because I used to consider Ferrett a friend, and would like to still, but am struggling)- what he SAID, literally was:
"The attitude that your body is a vested space... is fine... but it is not always healthy."
Please bear in mind also that Ferrett said this to me, someone he knows to have a generally healthy happy sex life and body image, in response to my position on his project, so we are not talking here about him referencing some extreme of social isolation or psychological trauma or speaking in hypotheticals. He's talking to me about how I feel. As the non-hypothetical addressee of the comment, I found it really disturbing and not at all fine.
He ALSO said, earlier in the same comment to me, that my saying "My body is something so special to me that only people I have firmly vetted and talked to and invested in should be allowed to touch those areas" was REALLY a way for me to say that I didn't want people I didn't find attractive/nice to want me. Which is funny, because as myself I can assure him, and everyone else, that when I say that that only people I have firmly vetted and talked to and invested in should be allowed to touch those areas, that is in fact EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
Although I don't say that phrase exactly, because those are his words and frankly they are dripping with all sorts of judgements about how women make decisions on who can touch them and they creep me out more every time I read them.
Basically, I've spent quite a bit of time turning those words around, and honestly, they DON'T say what you're reading. He may have meant to say what he literally said, but what he said was not "Allowing people access to your body is sometimes healthy". What he actually, literally said was "Considering your body yours to control is not always healthy." I can't seem to put a positive spin on that, no matter how hard I try.
Re: the Open-source Boob Project
"The attitude that your body is a vested space... is fine... but it is not always healthy."
Please bear in mind also that Ferrett said this to me, someone he knows to have a generally healthy happy sex life and body image, in response to my position on his project, so we are not talking here about him referencing some extreme of social isolation or psychological trauma or speaking in hypotheticals. He's talking to me about how I feel. As the non-hypothetical addressee of the comment, I found it really disturbing and not at all fine.
He ALSO said, earlier in the same comment to me, that my saying "My body is something so special to me that only people I have firmly vetted and talked to and invested in should be allowed to touch those areas" was REALLY a way for me to say that I didn't want people I didn't find attractive/nice to want me. Which is funny, because as myself I can assure him, and everyone else, that when I say that that only people I have firmly vetted and talked to and invested in should be allowed to touch those areas, that is in fact EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
Although I don't say that phrase exactly, because those are his words and frankly they are dripping with all sorts of judgements about how women make decisions on who can touch them and they creep me out more every time I read them.
Basically, I've spent quite a bit of time turning those words around, and honestly, they DON'T say what you're reading. He may have meant to say what he literally said, but what he said was not "Allowing people access to your body is sometimes healthy". What he actually, literally said was "Considering your body yours to control is not always healthy." I can't seem to put a positive spin on that, no matter how hard I try.