Serene of the Oakland Serenes

Spring!

Sun, 20 Mar 2022 15:41:10 GMT

My mom loved to say Spring is sprung, the grass is riz. I wonder where the flowers is?

Pretty sure she was quoting a song or poem or something, but it will always be hers to me.

Equinox was a few minutes ago as I'm writing this. I made eggs and spinach and potatoes for breakfast, and I may do nothing else all day. Or I may tackle my list.

( Cut for boring list )

My dad wants some help with his website at 1. Other than that, if I don't want to do anything today, I don't gotta. I can just relax, try to figure out today's Semantle, and take the day as she comes.

Happy Spring, y'all!

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Small-town Saturday

Sat, 12 Feb 2022 20:07:34 GMT

Most stuff in our small town isn't open every day. Lots and lots of places are Wednesday-through-Saturday. Many places are Saturday-only (or Wednesday-only, or by-appointment-only). Most places are closed Sunday. Most places are open Saturday.

So Saturdays are the days we wander around, with James getting to mostly decide where we're going. And Sundays are the day we putter around the house.

Today has been lovely so far. Let's see if I can remember the places we hit.

( Much detail )

( And THEN... )

And now I am sitting here, well-fed, well-exercised, and so happy to be where we are. Hope you all are well!

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CN: Food

Sat, 12 Feb 2022 02:29:44 GMT

( CN: Food )

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So much happening!

Fri, 11 Feb 2022 04:15:16 GMT

I have fallen into the habit of posting my updates on Twitter/Facebook even though I prefer this place to those, in theory. Not sure what that's about, especially since there are enough family members and co-workers on Facebook that it keeps me from posting anything with any depth most of the time. And on the gripping hand (h/t Aahz, may his memory be a blessing), I don't get deep all that often these days.

Anyway, lots and lots has happened since I was here last. Still miss my mom so hard that it's sometimes hard to move past it, but there are real patches of joy now, and that wasn't really the case at first.

( House )

( New Mexico )

( Work )

( Writing )

( Family )

Anyhow, there's a lot happening, and I want to share that with you, and to return to keeping an online journal if I can manage to find the follow-through to do that.

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A poem

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 04:35:40 GMT

The Last Vacation

I picked you up that day,
after work,
the summer swelter bending the air
melting our hair,
our resolve
to keep trying
at least until September,
at least until then.

I remember that trip in flashes,
the past a travelogue of our journey,
the aerial tramway a cheesy metaphor in the making,
too high and too scary for me,
but I took it anyway.
That's the story I tell most often;
the one about how I faced my fears.
You were on the tram. You do not appear in the story
when I tell it,

and if you tell the story—
do you tell the story?—
you could tell them about the swimming pool
in the lesbian-owned hotel,
where you nearly drowned,
and I didn't even notice,
until it was almost too late.

In the desert that summer,
we tried to outrun the sadness,
we honestly did,
with all the lust inside us,
with all the goodwill our friends
couldn't understand,
even as many times as we said the word
"amicable."

Weeks later, when we both knew it was over,
I started to say "At least--"
And you pinched your mouth into a white line.
"Don't you dare. Don't you dare say,
'At least we had Palm Springs.'"

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Happy birthday, pameladean!

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 15:41:29 GMT

Your books and your presence have made my world better, and I thank you. (Typo: I think you, which yes, I suppose so.)

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Days 25 through 30 of 31

Thu, 31 Dec 2020 04:18:51 GMT

25 If you could receive a $1000 gift card from any store, which would you choose?

Zion market (pan-Asian, chiefly Korean, grocery store nearish me)

26 It’s Thank You Note Day/Boxing Day. Do you write hand-written thank-you notes or do you thank people for gifts in some other way?

I don't receive a lot of gifts (because people who know me know I don't require them), but I do love and appreciate receiving gifts, and aim to send handwritten thank-yous for them when I get them.

27 No matter what holidays you do (or do not) celebrate, do you have a good recipe for leftovers? Post it!

I have a couple:

The day after every "roast holiday" we have hash, but it's not a strict recipe. I dice onions and potatoes in a tiny dice, then fry them up with tiny dices of whatever meat was roasted, butter, salt, pepper. Cook on medium low stirring infrequently until it's crisp and mostly cohesive. I like mine with a fried egg and usually a bit of sriracha. James likes his with ketchup.

Leftover rice always gets turned into fried rice for breakfast, preferably kimchi fried rice, but if there's no kimchi (or no bacon), then just garlic fried rice. Again, I like this with a fried-in-sesame-oil egg and a squirt of sriracha.

28 Do you usually make a special effort to thank someone who does you a favor? How do you react when you aren't thanked for going out of your way for someone?

I might make a little too big of a deal out of thanking people when they are nice to me, because it is very hard for me to accept that without making a big deal of it. I don't worry too much about being thanked myself, but sometimes I do notice and wonder if I should say something; I rarely do. My mom always said "give without remembering and receive without forgetting" and I have some of that ingrained in me, modulo my terrible long-term memory.

29 Would you rather your life have a rewind button or a pause button?

Rewind.

30 If you could change one bad habit you have, what would it be?

Oh, geeze, only one? Hmm. Let's say I would be better at keeping in touch with people I care about.

( All 31 questions if you want them )

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Days 23 and 24 of 31

Fri, 25 Dec 2020 03:27:51 GMT

23 Do you think you will be making any New Year’s resolutions in January?

I don't make resolutions, but I am starting a new project on January 1st that will presumably last the whole year, so it's kind of the same.

24 Do you prefer to receive money/gift cards or an actual gift?

An actual gift, even if it's super-cheap, free, homemade, or intangible. Even when I was dirt-broke, I felt this way. Money feels practical to me, and it's not a bad gift. I do appreciate it and all, but it isn't exciting in the way that something someone makes/does/buys especially for me is.

( All 31 questions if you want them )

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Day 22 of 31

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 17:33:17 GMT

22. Are you a “peeker” about gifts, or do you prefer to be surprised?

Don't care. I love giving and receiving gifts, and I am TRULY TERRIBLE at keeping secrets, so I don't expect anyone else to, either.

( All 31 days if you want to play along )

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Monthlies

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 20:39:18 GMT

Via hobbitbabe: "redbird reminded me of the old LJ custom of listing the first line of the first post of each month, as a way to summarize the year."

(Note: I'm ignoring intro remarks.)

January: None

February: None

March: Thanks for the update.

April: Some of us who are disabled and/or fat are worried we'll be denied access to scarce medical resources during the pandemic.

May: On May 4th and 5th, mom and I planted a bunch of stuff in a square-foot-gardening box, and I'm going to start keeping a plant diary here.

June: None

July: None

August: None

September: My mind is all over the place today.

October: Most days are... okay?

November: Dear Momma Duck, Six weeks.

December: Dear Momma Duck, I don't want to tell you about the details of my week.

Well, that was depressing. But accurate.

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Days 19-21 of 31

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 19:52:10 GMT

Later today, I will write a little about what's up with me and people I care about. Now, though, memeage.

( 31 Days of December )

( All 31 if you want to play along )

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Days 12-18 of 31

Fri, 18 Dec 2020 17:02:52 GMT

( The 31 questions of December )

( All the questions if you want to play along )

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Day 11 of 31

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 22:23:15 GMT

11. If you could live in any TV show, which one would you choose?

The West Wing, where the leaders are flawed, but both well-meaning and generally competent.

( 12-31 if you want to follow along )

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Goodness knows, I love a survey

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 03:34:00 GMT

I want to write, but I don't wanna think hard, as it's been a long and thinky day, so this survey from julian via wordweaverlynn looks to be just the thing. I think they're supposed to be done 1 per day, but I'm 10 days late, so here we go with the first 10.

( Cut for length -- 31 Questions for December )

( 11 through 31 if you want to play along )

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Wednesday on Wednesday, go figure

Thu, 26 Nov 2020 05:20:35 GMT

Taking kaberett's lead and adding Cooking and Growing to this list.

( Reading )

( Writing )

( Playing )

( Listening )

( Watching )

( Cooking )

( Growing )

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Wednesday media consumption thingy

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 16:30:29 GMT

( Reading )

( Writing )

( Playing )

( Listening )

( Watching )

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Thursday is the new Wednesday

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 16:42:11 GMT

This is the first week I've felt mostly functional since mom died. Not doing a ton of reading/watching/etc., but more than I was.

( Reading )

( Writing )

( Playing )

( Listening )

( Watching )

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Wednesday media consumption thing

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 01:32:16 GMT

Disclaimer: I have the attention span of a gnat lately, so anything I'm not super into may just be a function of my brain and not a statement on its quality.

( Reading )

( Writing )

( Playing )

( Listening )

( Watching )

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Joyful things

Sun, 25 Oct 2020 01:57:59 GMT

I have cried a lot today, but there are joyful things, so that's what I'll focus on.

In no particular order:

Dodge Poetry Festival is online this year

Work paid for me to go to Compounded Oppression: Sister’s Circle today

Takeout Chinese food (we don't eat out much; joy is joy)

We signed mortgage papers this week. Okay, I signed, but we own the house. Almost*. I am still in shock that I'm a person people will lend six figures to. Of course, I have an inherited house, so this is not purely because my credit, which used to be abysmal, is now what the mortgage person called "a solid B+/A-." It's also because the amount they're lending me is less than half what the house is worth.

Tomorrow, I'm planning to go pick up the dim sum that we were going to have for my birthday (my mom went into the hospital that day so we postponed it until she could join us and she never came home), take it over to the outside mall near the kid's house, and eat it with her outside. It will be suboptimal, but it will be as great as things can be right now, and that's okay.

I wrote some poetry and short fiction that I really like this week and last week, and that makes me happy.

* My mom left me the house in trust. I have the option to not include it in community property in my state, but my mom made it as easy as possible for me to deal with the house when she died; I want to do the same for James and the kid. My brother (the trustee/executor) has been really busy, so he hasn't done the paperwork on the property transfer yet, but the mortgage guy is going to help, so that should happen fairly quickly now. We hope.

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I don't know how long it's been...

Wed, 21 Oct 2020 16:48:50 GMT

...since I did one of these Wednesday things. Hmm, let's see. Disclaimer: I have the attention span of a gnat lately, so anything I'm not super into may just be a function of my brain and not a statement on its quality.

( Reading )

( Writing )

( Playing )

( Listening )

( Watching )

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Friday Five on Saturday

Sat, 10 Oct 2020 18:27:58 GMT

Via redbird, who says "via various people, details of phrasing via kazzanos."

1) What is the oldest thing you own?

Not counting some fossils? Either a bracelet that belonged to my grandmother (if I still own it; haven't seen it in a while) or a glass dish of hers that may or may not be older than a couple photos I have of my mother and her family of origin from the 1930s. I think James probably owns some books that are older than that, but I probably don't.

2) What is the oldest home you've lived in?

No idea, but this one was built in 1948/9, and I lived in a Victorian in the 1990s that seemed really old at the time.

3) What is the oldest book you've read?

I've read bits of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, but read all the way through? Probably Beowulf or the Bible.

4) What is the oldest electronic device that you still use?

I'm hard on stuff, so it doesn't stick around that long. Probably my phone, which is a few years old.

5) What is the oldest work of art/architecture that you've seen?

Likely most of the stuff I saw when I lived in Spain (grades 4 through 7, lots of field trips to castles and museums) was older than anything I've seen in the US. I remember some frescos vaguely; lots of castles; lots of religious iconography. OH, wait. I saw/held an ancient statue similar to the Venus of Willendorf in an anthropology class once.

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Status: holding

Thu, 01 Oct 2020 16:37:47 GMT

( CN: grief and boring paperwork )

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Mom

Wed, 23 Sep 2020 03:15:03 GMT

My mom passed away this morning. I have never had a day that didn't have her in it. I am numb and sad and fine and scared and confident she would find some amusement (the dark kind) in the fact that she died from a mystery ailment and not the fucking coronavirus.

There will be no services. If you want to honor my mom, find something you're not using anymore, and give it to someone who needs/wants it. That was her way, and she would get a kick out of that.

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Meme from the gorgeous and talented wordweaverlynn

Wed, 16 Sep 2020 03:01:43 GMT

Answer each category with a SONG TITLE. No repeats and don’t use the internet (it's tempting but try not to). Go with the first song that comes to mind, change my answers to your own (can’t steal mine), and repost.

Something To Wear - Itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini
Something To Drink - Black coffee in bed (Squeeze)
A Place - Oklahoma (Rodgers & Hammerstein)
A Food - Chocolate Cake (Crowded House)
An Animal - Rene and Georgette Magritte with Their Dog After the War (Paul Simon)
A Color - Blue (Joni Mitchell)
A Girl’s Name - Louise (Bonnie Raitt)
A Boy’s Name - A Boy Named Sue (Johnny Cash)
Profession - Fishing (Richard Shindell)
Day of the Week - Manic Monday (Bangles)
A Vehicle - Take me for a ride in your car-car (Peter, Paul, and Mary)

Your turn!

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Fundraiser for Al's memorial

Wed, 09 Sep 2020 15:47:44 GMT

There's a fundraiser for mac_arthur_park's memorial service, if you can afford to help and want to.

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