serene | (no subject)

Having nothing at all to do at work is sometimes a blessing and sometimes not. I got over the guilt long ago -- the boss knows I'm usually idle and is fine with it, so it's not my problem if they're paying me for doing nothing -- but I try to at least look busy. And for some reason (lately, at least), I've been unable (unwilling?) to use this huge amount of downtime to get some writing done. I sit and stare. I can't read a book (looks unprofessional) and I'm not supposed to websurf, but that's what I end up doing all day. That and sitting in quiet contemplation. I'm not bored, but I'm a bit frustrated that I'm not writing.

It's a glorious day outside. Sun shining. White fluffy clouds. Boats on the bay. *happysigh*

After work, I'm going over my mom's to pick up my new (well, it's six months old, but they can't fit it in their new setup) mattress and boxspring. Yay! An actual queen-sized bed to hold the 600 pounds of dyke. We're fine in a full bed, but it'll be luxury to have a bigger one.

Got a rejection letter the other day. I don't mind them; they're reminders that at least I'm still sending stuff out. I've written more poems this year than last, so that's good, but I still feel like all this extra time at work could go to better use. What a whiner I am.

Very excited about the three-day weekend. My first paid holiday in years. Cute-poet-chick has to work on Saturday, so I'm even gonna get an alone-day in there. Yay.

Reading Isle of Dogs (Patricia Cornwell). So far, I'm not impressed.

There,

bratman, are you happy? I posted every dull thought I could think of. Don't you wish you hadn't prodded me into coming back on LJ?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

who cares if will's happy? i'm happy!!!!

does writing in your LJ count as writing? (if you've been reading any soc.motss and have happened upon mike j++'s entries about his current unemployment, then where i got this question will be better located for you--he counts the posts that he's making to soc.motss as writing and i agree that he should--they're entertaining and revealing and make you think.) some of my LJ entries are more for me--to help me remember things, some are to entertain one or some of you all, and some are just top brain: oh look, this spilled out!

writing isn't a passion for me the way that singing is a passion, but i like the exercise--the putting together of words for different purposes, expecting different results. i find that i am impossible at making natural sounding dialogue, but that i can report real incidents in a fairly entertaining fashion. i have no idea where this points me, i just think about it a lot because writing is, in a sense, something that i feel i should want to do and i have no idea where that comes from because it doesn't come from an actual push inside of me to do so. does that make any sense? do we care?

hi sweetie! i missed you!

who cares if will's happy? i'm happy!!!!

Then I'm happy!

Writing in my LJ doesn't count as writing, nor does Usenet, because the "writing" I'm referring to is my creative writing. But one thing you said really struck a chord:

writing is, in a sense, something that i feel i should want to do and i have no idea where that comes from because it doesn't come from an actual push inside of me to do so. does that make any sense?

Yes. This. Exactly this. *sigh*

hi sweetie! i missed you!

Even though I send boring emails to you nearly every day? Wow, you're devoted. *smoooooch*

I never could do creative writing at work either. Too...sterile or something.

I think that months of idleness at this job have made ennui a knee-jerk, Pavlovian response. I walk in in the morning and I'm already getting kinda dull and bored. I don't *get* bored. :-) Anyway, I moved through it Friday and plotted the next part of my mystery novel, so maybe I'll create a *new* Pavlovian response. Hope so.

I know exactly what you mean about the pavlovian response to work. Good luck!

May I ask what your mystery novel is about?