![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
So I followed a link in a locked post to the Open-source Boob Project, and here's how my thinking went:
1) Wonder if I should post to my friendslist "Yes, you may".
2) Well, but should I friends-lock it?
3) Well, but then I should really remove anyone from my friendslist that I don't want touching my boobs.
4) Well, no, because I can say no to them. But wouldn't it be funny to just post an open post saying "If I drop you from my friendslist in the next day or so, it's because I don't want you touching my boobs"?
Anyway, Yes, you can. Ask, that is. I'm likely to say "You can touch my boobs; it's no big deal."
1) Wonder if I should post to my friendslist "Yes, you may".
2) Well, but should I friends-lock it?
3) Well, but then I should really remove anyone from my friendslist that I don't want touching my boobs.
4) Well, no, because I can say no to them. But wouldn't it be funny to just post an open post saying "If I drop you from my friendslist in the next day or so, it's because I don't want you touching my boobs"?
Anyway, Yes, you can. Ask, that is. I'm likely to say "You can touch my boobs; it's no big deal."
Re: the Open-source Boob Project
You seem quite upset, and I am sorry for whatever part my comment played in it. I'll try and explain myself better.
My point with regards to women touching women was that your point there seemed to be 'the touching is all very heterosexual', which was not my impression. I got the impression that regardless of gender, the touching was roughly the same mixture of appreciation and sexuality. And, the only place men specifically weren't touched was the genitals, and women's genitals weren't touched either.
The peer pressure is a good point, but, everyone has to live with peer pressure in a million ways everywhere every day, including with regards to sex. In every interaction, it's present. I don't think making it explicit and less mystified and taboo is bad. Human beings have feelings, including sexual ones. Trying to say otherwise is unrealistic and impractical. Accepting biological realities and trying to alter, better, social constructs with regards to them is a lofty goal in my opinion.
I suspect that while you're reading the same words I am in the original post, you're not reading the same thing. I'd be curious as to where you're seeing things differently, I may well be missing something, it's certainly happened before.
For one thing, I saw quite a bit of acknowledgment, in the post and especially in the comments, that yes, here there be dragons, and I saw quite a bit of trying to address that. But, they clearly did feel something like magic, and, it seems, other people can see how it could be magic, and want to try and create that for themselves. I can certainly see how it could be amazing. I often feel physically unattractive, because I certainly don't meet societal standards for beauty, and having something that told me yes, people found me attractive would be great. Sure, it'd be ideal if society didn't tell me I'm unattractive, but it does, and I don't see it stopping any time soon, no matter how much work is done. So, I'd like things that helped me deal with that, and for me, I can see that this really could be such a thing. I can't always give myself all the affirmation I need, so, at those times, if I don't get it externally, I just won't have it. I'd rather have it externally than not at all.
As another point where I don't think we're reading the same thing, ferret does not in what I read 'clearly consider unenlightened prudes those who didn't want to take part'. He states repeatedly in the comments things such as 'you don't want to take part, don't, it's cool.', with further comments which I read as 'we just want people who this speaks to get a chance to take part'. Also, I see numerous comments from both ferret and others against those who are giving people shit about not wanting to take part, and against those who're giving those who did take part shit. So, there's clear pressure to be respectful all around, in what I read.
For yet another, while I see a number of people saying how they've found affirmation and personal growth through this or similar ways to express sexuality while avoiding some degree of the common social dangers of such, I don't see anyone saying that it will work like that for everyone, and if it doesn't, you're unhealthy.
No, it's not new for men to want to touch women's breasts in public. It's as old as the human sex drive. What is new is making it explicit, and putting a social stigma to it (because they did form a small sub culture, I'd say, from a sociological perspective), whereby the men are expected to ASK, the women have absolute power to refuse, and the men are expected to gracefully accept refusal.
Personally, as a woman who likes other women's breast, I'm rather insulted that you'd assume the women who touched other women's breasts did it for the sake of the HBB fantasies of the men present. Maybe they just WANTED to, and appreciated the chance to be able to Just Ask. I know I've gone half insane at times, wondering if some woman I was attracted to would be open to being approached in any way, and wishing there was some way I could tell, or at least know if I could ask without giving offense.
Re: the Open-source Boob Project
(Anonymous) 2008-04-22 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)If it were a little less overtly sexualized then I'd feel considerably less skeeved about it (for example, women at a dance wearing a badge or pin or something that says "I love to dance! Ask me!" doesn't set off any alarm bells for me).
I realize I'm pulling one point out of context and I apologize for ignoring the rest of your argument (and I can't believe I'm arguing against the feeling of women's breasts).