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Didn't realize until this moment that the hardest thing about today (well, yesterday) wasn't finding out my tumor is very large and needs to have an ultrasound tomorrow. It wasn't losing a day of work to distraction and grumpiness, and feeling all needy all over my partners and
golden_c_turtle.
It was telling my mom about the thyroid thing.
Mom lost her favorite child (her niece, but mom helped raise her, and she (my cousin) is universally agreed upon among the 20 cousins to be the best of us all) to breast cancer. Patty was an angel, and was easily the best person I ever knew, and she was my age when she died. My mother still hasn't gotten over that, 13 years later. If I have cancer (and I'm pretty sure I don't), it will send my mother over the deep end. That's why I've had trouble focusing today. Maybe I should go read a trashy novel and get some sleep.
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It was telling my mom about the thyroid thing.
Mom lost her favorite child (her niece, but mom helped raise her, and she (my cousin) is universally agreed upon among the 20 cousins to be the best of us all) to breast cancer. Patty was an angel, and was easily the best person I ever knew, and she was my age when she died. My mother still hasn't gotten over that, 13 years later. If I have cancer (and I'm pretty sure I don't), it will send my mother over the deep end. That's why I've had trouble focusing today. Maybe I should go read a trashy novel and get some sleep.
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Sending every good health vibe I can muster your way.
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The c word is a scary thing in my family
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sending love your way.
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(Anonymous) 2007-04-26 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
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Can you feel it?
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Hugs,
-Kerry-
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*hughughug*
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I really hope everything connected with this goes smoothly and with the least possible stress to either your Mom or you.
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Good luck in getting it dealt with as painlessly and smoothly as possible.
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I know it's traumatic to lose someone, and it's easy to idealize someone once they're gone. But I don't buy the idea that Patty was better than you or any of your cousins. Maybe she was nicer, sweeter, smarter, more talented, more of a "good daughter" or a "good cousin", or whatever. But - in my worldview anyway - that doesn't make a person more worthy. You are wonderful, too! You are just as good as anyone else. And your life is worth every bit as much. Maybe she was your mom's favorite (and if that hurts you, you have my hugs and sympathies - it sounds like that would be hard), but that still doesn't make her "the best of you all".
Sorry, I don't mean to disrespect Patty's memory in any way - it sounds like she was a wonderful person. But I guess this is a bit of a hot button of mine. I don't think we should ever accept the idea that anyone is better than anyone else. Just MHO.
(((Hugs)))
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