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2017-02-07 07:42 pm
Entry tags:

Good stuff

  • Kicked butt at work today.

  • [personal profile] piglet did something really nice for me.

  • James made yummy pasta and I made equally yummy garlic bread, so dinner was a win, and lunch was good, too -- leftovers from last night's amazing beans with salsa verde

  • I finished a short story and sent it out into the world.

  • I think I'm figuring out how to wrangle my statistics for my Resistance Manual pages

There were other good things, too, but I just wanted to remind myself that these relatively easy and joyful days do exist.
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2017-01-29 07:34 pm

Sunday writing update

The numbers )

A ton of my time is being devoted right now to the Resistance Manual. At least a couple of hours a day, and more on the weekends. It is what is keeping me from despair, but I also think it's what's making me feel productive enough to get some writing done and some pieces submitted.

I am trying to be careful not to burn out, but being busy with something that matters is so enriching. I used to pine for something like this when my friends like [personal profile] wild_irises were out meeting and marching and paying off people's home loans and stuff, and I could barely get out of bed. Now I have something I can do that doesn't actually require getting out of bed (or comfy chair), and it's something I really believe in, so I feel so good about it. Plus, working on the disability stuff means I'll be providing resources so that more people with disabilities will be able to resist without feeling like they have to be able to march or get arrested or do things their bodies don't want to do.

One thing I want to make more time for is a big chunk of time per day to really work on improving my writing. I consider myself a writer of medium competency and very little... giftedness? or something? But I know any writer can get better by really working at it, so I want to do that more in the weeks and months to come. I have a lot of writing projects in various stages of completion: my finished but unedited NaNo novel, a few chapters each of two other novels, a first draft of a nonfiction book, and so many early drafts of poetry that I can't even tell you. This is me pep-talking myself into making that stuff more of a priority.
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2017-01-27 09:50 pm

Quick updates

Happy Lunar New Year!

I spent the first half of the day just sleeping or staring into space, but I'm a lot less sick now as a result, so that's a good thing.

I was just made disability team lead on the Resistance Manual, and I would love it if some of you came and joined me in building those pages to be really great, as well as checking to make sure other areas on the RM are intersectional with regard to disability.

I have been writing every day and submitting several things a week, and I still don't know where the energy is coming from, but I'll take it. Maybe the cold weather really is my friend.

The debt-elimination project is going well. I'm blogging sporadically about it, but the best result so far is that after 2 months, we paid off 10% of our highest-interest card, and it's only going to get better.

And I got a stellar performance review at work, and applied for a better job on campus.

Let's see, is that it? Well, other than my mom possibly having a MRSA infection, yes. I think that's it for now. Now I'll go read your journals to see what you're up to.
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2017-01-01 04:48 pm

2016 in review

Back in 2011/12, [personal profile] firecat combined a couple of different end-of-the-year survey thingies so lots of the numbers are repeated, and I think that's kind of fun, so I did it then, and I'm doing it now, with the years changed. I intend for this to become a daily journal again in 2017, so this is where I'm starting.

1. Was 2016 a good year for you?
Some things were good, but in general, no. Not very.

There's a TON more behind the cut )
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2016-09-20 07:05 am

(no subject)

Fifteen years ago today, I made my first entry in this journal (at LiveJournal at the time). It was my 35th birthday (which makes today my 50th). Some changes:

Read more... )

My life right now is hard in different ways from before, but it's also joyful in the same ways, and peaceful in about equal measure. I like who I am. I like the people I surround myself with for the most part. Onward!
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2016-07-07 09:34 pm
Entry tags:


It just took me 260 posts to catch up with y'all. Thank you for being so productive in your entertaining-Serene duties!

Long week, but SO much easier since my co-worker returned from vacation (I was covering some of their duties while they were gone).

Gonna see about getting my succulent garden planted this weekend. Also, will work on dad's website, and go sing karaoke with him and the Non-Wicked Stepmother on Saturday night.

And naps. Lots of naps. Thank goodness it's the weekend. Sorry if you have to work on Friday.
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2016-05-29 06:29 am

6am Sunday update with (many) parentheses

Up since 4 for no good reason. Enjoying the quiet of a solitary Sunday. These are the times when I want to catch up with my peeps, so I've read your posts (haven't commented much, but I'm listening. Lisa, I love how you notice things about all your kids).

I've been spending a lot of time on SparkPeople lately, working on my food/exercise program (a.k.a. diet, but not for weight-loss, because ew). It's working (i.e., my blood is no longer testing as prediabetic, and I'm reducing my heart meds a little at a time with doctor supervision), so it benefits me to make it as fun as possible, which means a fair bit of online socializing, which is the bulk of my social life and has been for, wow, almost 18 years now (I got online in mid-1998).

Wiscon folks are being chatty on Twitter and it sounds really great, but considering who my friends are, it makes me wonder how things are in the background and how my friends who aren't going any more are feeling today. I want to hug you all.

Work is decent. Without the old boss, things are much calmer in my area, except when I stick my foot in my mouth and cause myself anxiety, but usually, things are good. I'm really good at working. That's something I don't always give myself credit for. I kind of suck at the social end of it, but the customer service part, I rock at, and the paperwork part is my STAR THING.

Mom is still dealing with major major pain issues and there's not much that can be done for a variety of reasons, so we (meaning she, I, James) try to keep her distracted and happy as much as possible. I foresee a time not too long from now when she'll decide it's not worth it any more. I will cope with that as best I can if/when it comes. This paragraph doesn't lend itself to language. There is much unsaid.

I haven't been writing. I'm not sure why. When there's time, I play my game or hang out online, and I just have no desire to write. I don't even really feel bad about it, though I do seem to be happier when I'm producing at least poems. But lately, just can't be arsed.

Enjoying (if that is the right word) Top of the Lake, but I love Elizabeth Moss and the kind of gritty police drama it's shaping up to be (I'm on the second episode), so it is a natural for me.

James is still obsessed with home shows, and that led to his new obsession, our house. It was apparently built by an artist/architect who turns out to be kind of interesting, and the house itself was a marvel when he built it in 1948/9, so James has become Mr. Research Man, constantly finding new bits of information about the guy. If you're awesome at finding out stuff about dead people and want to join the puzzle, let me know and I'll shoot you the guy's name. Since he got a lot of press that included our address, I don't want to just say it here.

The kid finished her first semester of college!! She thinks she got mostly As and a B. Either way, she finished!! It's not something she loves, but she chose to do it, and she finished. Super proud!

Dad and I are still working on, and he retired yesterday from his in-person teaching job (he still teaches a bunch of online classes), so he'll have more time for it soon. And I'll have Fridays off starting next week, so we're going to work on it together. If you want to learn college-level electronics online for cheap, let me know and I'll hook you up with some free coupons for his courses.

Hm, what else. Sister is still in jail. Nephew is still lackadaisically looking for work and living off his dad and my mom. I still miss the Bay Area and my peeps there (especially Guy, of course). I'm reading a little, cooking a little, staring into space a lot. My pain and dizziness are bad enough to make me tired and sad, but not any worse than that. I get a lot of joy out of little things, and my entire life feels like it's in a holding pattern while we live this stage of our life as well and as usefully as we know how.

Oh, and Black Twitter is still one of my most favorite things in all the world. And Captain Awkward. And YoIsThisRacist. And my game (Two Dots).

Much love, my lovelies.
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2016-03-11 05:52 pm

Basic bog-standard update post

Was just reading a nice update post from a friend I see a lot of online, and it was really good to hear the details of what she's been up to. That made me want to give an update, too. I will put it under cut tags, because I'm feeling chatty.

We've been in San Diego for 18 months )

Personal/family stuff )

Dream job stuff )

Day job stuff )

Health stuff )
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2016-02-26 05:07 am


Awoke at 4 to a random sound that my brain processed as something hitting the house. It was probably just someone closing a door in the house somewhere -- it's a big house. I also had the beginnings of a migraine, so it could've been exploding head syndrome, which I do get sometimes, and which is one of the coolest-named benign pschophysiological things ever (if you know of others, tell me -- cool names for shit are my lifeblood).

Anyway. Four in the morning.

Because of the impending migraine, I took aspirin and caffeine, and if I go back to sleep, I will doom myself to a full-blown migraine, so instead I have turned down the brightness on my monitor and settled in with DW/LJ and my "Right-hand Man" earworm to do a nice long update, which I haven't done in some time, and which will be under a series of cuts.

1a: Work babble )

1b. Residency, a.k.a. Work Babble Two )

Starting to get the migraine nausea, so I'm having trouble concentrating. I think I'll cut this short for now and pick it up later. Have a good weekend, my lovelies!
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2015-11-11 12:45 am

What I care about lately

Still reading, still not saying much. I'm writing lots of words lately, and caring about lots of things. Among them, my family and

1) #Mizzou in particular, and #BlackLivesMatter in general

2) My NaNo novel:

3) My dad's business, for which I'm doing some writing and some amateurish webmastering.

Things I'm happy about:

1) The Lovecraft thing.

2) My kid is moving down to San Diego!

3) I have tomorrow off from work and I don't have any plans besides lunch with mom and writing a gazillion words.

More when I get my brain back!
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2013-12-08 10:26 pm

State of the Serene

Have been spending most of my online time elsewhere, but I miss this place. No, not Facebook. SparkPeople.

Health and food talk, probably not interesting to anyone who's not me, and possibly triggering to folks who prefer not to read diet talk. )

So yeah, I'm back. I'll still keep my food and body stuff mostly on SparkPeople, but I wanted to give a little update on where I've been.
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2012-07-02 10:23 pm
Entry tags:

Little notes

Little notes are really little today, due to lack of brain.

1) Spent a week (typo by dr. freud: "two weeks") at mom's. Am home.

2) Summer = MANY fruits in my belly

3) Sad about mom.

4) Saw Munchkin The Elder, who is excited about his job and the Kinect I bought him for his birthday.

5) Am on a 21-day "cleanse" thingy (no animal products except honey, no gluten, no alcohol, no caffeine, no refined sugar). Will be posting about it at the Mom Food blog.

6) Got a letter from [personal profile] ljgeoff and am off to put my feet up and read it
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2011-12-18 08:48 pm

Here we go

Good, if unproductive weekend. Came home from work on Friday in a foul temper (I assume from relief at the end of both my own school quarter and our students' semester, which was especially hard for me this time around because I was finding people scribes for their finals. I think I just had a mini-meltdown from its being finally over), and it took me until yesterday morning to feel vaguely like myself again.

This week, I have to work Monday/Wednesday/Friday, but my boss is not here and my file clerk is, so I think I'll be able to get lots of work done. I hope so! It would be awesome to be able to greet my boss next month with the files in order; they've gotten so bad with all the work turmoil.

Got to go to Costco with [personal profile] wild_irises yesterday, which was fun, and have spent some time cooking and cleaning and exercising, but lots more time staring into space and playing computer games than usual. Which, of course, is okay. If my dad gets here on Saturday morning and my house is a wreck, hell, he lived with me for 14 years; it will not be news to him.

We are liking the Bowflex. It's easy to use and was fairly easy to put together. It takes up a HUGE amount of space, so it's good that we have a big living room and no sofa.

[profile] sogwife has to have surgery this week (I don't feel okay talking about the details; that's her story, but my story is...) and I'm worried for her, but also glad she's able to have it done. I wish I had the wherewithal to go up and hold her hand and stuff, but honestly, I'm standing


and the end of my rope is


My dad and stepmom will only be here for one day, the 24th -- they leave the morning of the 25th -- and then when they're gone, I have one week off from EVERYTHING: school, work, and obligations. I will be broke, but that's okay. I will be in my house, with my family, recovering. I can hold out for one week until that happens. Pretty sure. Probably.

The kid's grades come out on January 3rd, according to her school's website. I'm actually kind of glad I don't have to deal with that conversation until after Christmas and her birthday. I'm not feeling anxious about it, but I still don't think it'll be easy. Unless somehow I'm completely wrong and she didn't actually drop out of school without telling me. Again. I mean, there are people who manage to get good grades without going to class, right?
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2011-12-10 07:50 am
Entry tags:

A peaceful Saturday morning ramble

This ramble will be less verbose than usual, and mostly unedited, because I'm sitting with my feet up, using James's iPad, so typing's a pain in the ass.

Woke at 6 this morning and didn't bother trying to go back to sleep, because this quiet, alone time is my favorite. This weekend is the Big Cook, so I have a lot to do, but the whole weekend to do it in.

Got my prize money. Bought lots of groceries, schoolbooks, and a home gym, along with putting some in savings. James and I have been exercising up a storm, and I've had normal blood pressure for 13 days straight! When we moved up here, he left his exercise machine behind, and we've been wanting one since, so when I saw one for half price with free shipping, I went for it.

The menu for the cook this time is:

Bean-and-cheese burritos
Tuna casserole
Pot pies (vegetarian)
Chickpea gravy

Did I mention my mom's Thanksgiving visit went very well? We only got in one real argument. A pretty bad one, but we recovered quickly.

It's my belief that the kid stopped going to school a while ago and has been pretending she's going. If this is the case, we'll be asking her to move out 30 days after grades come out on January 3rd. This is sad for me, but it's okay. She's 20 and we do her no good if we enable her to go through life doing absolutely nothing besides playing her game and sleeping. We gave her someplace safe and calm to be when she needed it, and we made it clear that going to school or working was her end of the deal.

And speaking of school, my first quarter is over, yay! My grades are excellent, I have a month off, and I went around all happy and bouncy with relief yesterday. No homework for a month!

I've been reading your journals and rarely commenting. Please forgive me. I look forward to engaging more from now until mid-January when school starts back up.
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2011-07-24 11:35 am


Reposted from my Google+, because it's as good an update as any today:

When I was a kid, I was really good at slacking. I could sleep for 16 hours at a stretch. I could watch TV from when the Cosby show came on (shut up!) until Bob Costas was finished. I did homework only when I felt like it, and my grades showed it.

I'm not good at it any more. I don't know when that happened, exactly. I just caught myself in an internal dialogue that went something like this:

Me: Okay, we're doing laundry today, so I should collect that up, and then maybe I can finish planning the menus for the big cooking day, and there's a sink full of dishes, and now that I've got the bookcases culled, I can put any spare books into that, and...

Me: Wait. It's Sunday. Can't you just go about your day and do what you feel like doing? The laundry will get done; you and James have a laundry date. Everything else? It's SUNDAY. You're SICK. Take a break, or do stuff because you feel like it. You do NOT have to schedule every hour of your Sunday. CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
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2011-07-16 11:05 am


Hi, all. I've been reading, but rarely commenting except to say "Yay!" or "Oh, no!" to your posts. This is one of those long, laundry-list updates that I like to let you opt into, so it's going behind cuts.

The family health stuff )

School and my plans for fall )

Musing about what to cut back on )

Emotional landscape )
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2010-10-12 02:07 am

Back home home home home home!

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, my life was consumed with BlogHer Food, a conference for women food bloggers (and a few token men) in San Francisco. It's due to the wonderfulness of [personal profile] badgerbag that I got to go, and I talk a little about it (not terribly coherently) here:

Other stuff: Work is fine, though still backed up, and I've got extra hours for a while, so my paychecks'll be a little bigger, so that's nice.

The kid has a kidney infection. She's taking antibiotics, but they may be the wrong ones.

I had a pharmaceutical screwup that was compounded by not having any of my docs in town when I needed them, so it'll be a week or so before I feel like I'm really awake and alive again, now that I have my prescription. And I don't wanna say why in public, but [personal profile] mactavish and [personal profile] loracs were the heroes of the revolution on this one.

Mom is okay, but really tired.

My blog is still making me happy, as are my family.

And I'm home. Home home home home HOME. I have the day off tomorrow, and if I didn't HAVE to, I wouldn't leave the house. (I do have to, though, to pick up my prescription and submit to a bunch of tests. *sigh*)
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2010-09-25 07:16 pm

I need a break from the blog work

Notes of little interest, but hey, [personal profile] badgerbag & [personal profile] vito_excalibur say they like the minutiae, so here they are:

1) Slept until something like 4pm yesterday; the only time I can sleep that long is when I'm sick, so I'm glad I pretty much slept through it. Today was spent sitting in one place almost the whole day (with brief forays into the kitchen to put away dishes; [personal profile] james_huber won't let me wash them because it eats up my hands), writing FIVE blog posts and fixing some of the static pages on the blog. Maybe now I'll work on some of the design stuff; I suck at design stuff, but I can't afford a designer, so I'll see what I can do.

2) I can hear the kid in her room, singing in Japanese to her WoW friends. Singing really prettily. I haven't heard her sing since she was a small child, and this is kind of choking me up.

3) Famous people (at least people famous in the circles I run in) talk to me on Twitter, and it's kinda fun to be part of their day. I wasn't expecting that to be anything I gave a rat's ass about.

4) Keep feeling like I don't know how to maneuver socially at work. Have decided to just let it be. They like my work and my work ethic; they'll have to just put up with my weirdness.

5) I don't buy new books very often, but I bought Dorie Greenspan's Around My French Table for French Fridays with Dorie, and it's really beautiful, and so far, very good. I'm only a chapter in yet, though. (The gougeres turned out really well.)
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2009-04-27 09:35 am
Entry tags:


I'd say that'll teach me not to stay up too late, but it probably won't.

We got home from Sedaris around 11 (we walked home -- it was chilly but nice out, and it's only two miles), and 6am came early. Plus, the weather shifted, and it's wintry outside, so something inside my body is begging me to let it curl up under a blanket and sleep just a few hours. It's a long day today (work, volunteer job, social engagement tonight), but I think I should schedule a nap for tomorrow. :-)
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2009-03-01 10:07 pm

(no subject)

Decided at the last minute (with the aid of the rain and a not-feeling-very-good teenager) to skip my planned trip to San Leandro and environs. Spent most of the day in my chair, but I did get the following things done.

Cut the list for your sake -- I make the list to remind myself that while I feel like I'm a total slug, I am getting things done, things I care about. )