Kili and the blue dish

[serene]

I made the ham in the blue dish that my friend Kili and I always tease each other about. She has the same pan, and we joke about how I need to wash it and get it back to her in time for her next batch of kalua pig or somesuch.

Kili died today. I will miss her, and I will always think of her whenever we have kalua pig or stuffed mushrooms or portabella burgers, or whenever I use that damn blue baking dish.

I loved her. She was pure goodness, through and through.

Anyway.

Christmas(observed) dinner was as follows:

Mom's ham with pineapple gravy
Baked potatoes (butter, sour cream)
Corn
Carrots
Green beans

I don't really love ham (okay, I don't like it much at all), but the nostalgia factor made it yummier than I would normally find it. And the kid and someotherguy approved.

Now Christmas is over. Well, not counting all the dishes. It's been a quiet, peaceful week, and I'm grateful for it.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your friend. Do you feel like talking more about her?

I'm really glad your kid is back home.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Kili (her real name was Christine, but she posted as Kilikini on Usenet -- the Hawaiian version of "Christine") was this sweet, darling girl who had SO much to deal with. She had a rare sarcoma called Fibromatosis and a genetic liver disorder called Hemochromatosis. They had to remove her breasts and lots of other parts of her. She had to fight HARD to get funding (she was one of the working poor before she got sick) and eventually was taken on as a charity case by the Mayo Clinic, but they couldn't save her.

One time, on rec.food.cooking, two of the regulars there decided to call me all kinds of foul names because I'm queer and poly. The one I remember best was "disease-spreading cunt". Kili was the ONLY person who stood up and said anything in my defense, and she was a sweet young thing who didn't really even understand queerness or poly, but she figured that if someone isn't hurting you, you should mind your own business.

Or here, here's what she actually said:

> So, to summarize, I'm in a traditional male/female marriage, but whatever
> anybody else wants to do is absolutely fine with me. I'm happy the way I am
> and the way live. I would just want the same for everybody else. Everyone
> deserves to be happy, to be loved, and have their desires fulfilled.

She was a real class act.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Thanks for talking about her. I wish I had known her.

[cerulean-me.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry that you lost your friend. *hug* thank you for sharing your memories of her with us.

[clever-doberman.livejournal.com]

is she someone you only knew online, or also in person?

I had an online friend who got an agressive leukemia and only lived another year, and it really socked me hard in the gut when he died. fortunately his wife came on to the place where he and I and about 8 others gathered "offline" from the original discussion board, so we got a chance to grieve him together, and to snuggle up to his wife.

He liked my user ID and I haven't changed it since, it's my tribute to him in my heart of hearts.

anyway, I love ham, and glad you could use the blue pan and honor your friend.

[berkeleyfarm.livejournal.com]

Aw, crap. I am so sorry to hear about Kili.

But the meal sounds yummy. Glad you have Munchkin back with you.

[leback.livejournal.com]

She sounds lovely. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad that you and wtfpotatoes had a good Christmas celebration.

[nitoda]

Sorry for your loss. Glad you had a good Christmas dinner with the kid though. ::hugs::

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a wonderful thing to say. I'm sorry she's gone.

-J

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

she sounds like a wonderful person. sorry to hear about her dying :(

[deakat]

I'm so sorry to hear that you (and the world) have lost your friend.

[marea93.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you lost your friend. I'm sure you were as great a source of strength to her as she was - is - to you. If her Kahlua Pork recipe isn't too complicated, and you would like to share it, I would love to try it and in some small way feel I am propagating her vibes. I hope that's not an inappropriate request.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I never met her in person, but she did go to lots of gatherings of this particular newsgroup, so lots of my friends knew her. No one didn't love her, even the group's troll, who would bait her husband about how he (the husband) wasn't good enough for her. (He was wrong, of course -- they adored each other.)

I didn't know she'd died when I used the pan, but I will think of her every time I use it for the rest of forever.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

It's kalua, not kahlua -- the hawaiian word for "to cook in an underground oven", but Kili had a method for doing it in a slow oven, and my family adored it.

Here it is in her words:

"It's really simple. I rub the butt, shoulder, or picnic with sea salt (or kosher salt) and drop it into a Dutch Oven. I add about 12 oz. of chicken stock (homemade or canned) and add the equivalent of water. I also put in (gasp!) about 1/4 to 1/3 of a cup of liquid smoke. I set the oven to 275 and forget about it all for 3 - 4 hours. Then I do the fork test. If it pulls easily, the pork is done.


Kalua pig is always served with cabbage and rice, so make sure you've got cabbage cut up and a pot of rice ready when you're set to pull the meat. The heat of the meat will wilt the cabbage - which is all you need. Have the cabbage finely shredded in a pan and pull the pork directly over the cabbage. When all is pulled, mix the pork together with the cabbage. There should be a good deal of juice involved mixed into the meat and cabbage, so if your pork looks a little dry, add some of the juice remaining in the Dutch Oven.

To serve, place over cooked sticky rice."

[zeldajean.livejournal.com]

oh YUM! I will have to try that soon, it sounds delicious!

[00goddess.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry for your loss.

[phoenixpdx.livejournal.com]

oh. I didn't know you knew Kilikini also. She was a regular on rec.pets.cats.anecdotes, and I knew her from there. (Not enough to exchange dishes, but enough to miss her voice now that she is gone.) I extend my sympathy to you. The world is a bit poorer because she is no longer in it.

"Rise up slowly, angel; it's hard to let you go...."

[marea93.livejournal.com]

Whoops, I knew that about the spelling. It just slipped out the other way.

Thank you for this. I will enjoy trying it out with my sweetie, and think of you and your friend Kili.

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you found each other and were able to brighten each other's lives and the world in your friendship and communities. My condolences to you and her friends and family.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

*eeep*. i am sorry for your loss; she sounds like a good person.

and now i know why you "mis"spell kalua pig. i always wondered how pig with kahlua would taste.