Serene of the Oakland Serenes

My mom loved to say Spring is sprung, the grass is riz. I wonder where the flowers is?

Pretty sure she was quoting a song or poem or something, but it will always be hers to me.

Equinox was a few minutes ago as I'm writing this. I made eggs and spinach and potatoes for breakfast, and I may do nothing else all day. Or I may tackle my list.

( Cut for boring list )

My dad wants some help with his website at 1. Other than that, if I don't want to do anything today, I don't gotta. I can just relax, try to figure out today's Semantle, and take the day as she comes.

Happy Spring, y'all!

The Last Vacation

I picked you up that day,
after work,
the summer swelter bending the air
melting our hair,
our resolve
to keep trying
at least until September,
at least until then.

I remember that trip in flashes,
the past a travelogue of our journey,
the aerial tramway a cheesy metaphor in the making,
too high and too scary for me,
but I took it anyway.
That's the story I tell most often;
the one about how I faced my fears.
You were on the tram. You do not appear in the story
when I tell it,

and if you tell the story—
do you tell the story?—
you could tell them about the swimming pool
in the lesbian-owned hotel,
where you nearly drowned,
and I didn't even notice,
until it was almost too late.

In the desert that summer,
we tried to outrun the sadness,
we honestly did,
with all the lust inside us,
with all the goodwill our friends
couldn't understand,
even as many times as we said the word
"amicable."

Weeks later, when we both knew it was over,
I started to say "At least--"
And you pinched your mouth into a white line.
"Don't you dare. Don't you dare say,
'At least we had Palm Springs.'"

25 If you could receive a $1000 gift card from any store, which would you choose?

Zion market (pan-Asian, chiefly Korean, grocery store nearish me)

26 It’s Thank You Note Day/Boxing Day. Do you write hand-written thank-you notes or do you thank people for gifts in some other way?

I don't receive a lot of gifts (because people who know me know I don't require them), but I do love and appreciate receiving gifts, and aim to send handwritten thank-yous for them when I get them.

27 No matter what holidays you do (or do not) celebrate, do you have a good recipe for leftovers? Post it!

I have a couple:

The day after every "roast holiday" we have hash, but it's not a strict recipe. I dice onions and potatoes in a tiny dice, then fry them up with tiny dices of whatever meat was roasted, butter, salt, pepper. Cook on medium low stirring infrequently until it's crisp and mostly cohesive. I like mine with a fried egg and usually a bit of sriracha. James likes his with ketchup.

Leftover rice always gets turned into fried rice for breakfast, preferably kimchi fried rice, but if there's no kimchi (or no bacon), then just garlic fried rice. Again, I like this with a fried-in-sesame-oil egg and a squirt of sriracha.

28 Do you usually make a special effort to thank someone who does you a favor? How do you react when you aren't thanked for going out of your way for someone?

I might make a little too big of a deal out of thanking people when they are nice to me, because it is very hard for me to accept that without making a big deal of it. I don't worry too much about being thanked myself, but sometimes I do notice and wonder if I should say something; I rarely do. My mom always said "give without remembering and receive without forgetting" and I have some of that ingrained in me, modulo my terrible long-term memory.

29 Would you rather your life have a rewind button or a pause button?

Rewind.

30 If you could change one bad habit you have, what would it be?

Oh, geeze, only one? Hmm. Let's say I would be better at keeping in touch with people I care about.


( All 31 questions if you want them )

22. Are you a “peeker” about gifts, or do you prefer to be surprised?

Don't care. I love giving and receiving gifts, and I am TRULY TERRIBLE at keeping secrets, so I don't expect anyone else to, either.

( All 31 days if you want to play along )

Later today, I will write a little about what's up with me and people I care about. Now, though, memeage.

( 31 Days of December )

( All 31 if you want to play along )

11. If you could live in any TV show, which one would you choose?

The West Wing, where the leaders are flawed, but both well-meaning and generally competent.

( 12-31 if you want to follow along )

Taking kaberett's lead and adding Cooking and Growing to this list.

( Reading )

( Writing )

( Playing )

( Listening )

( Watching )

( Cooking )

( Growing )

This is the first week I've felt mostly functional since mom died. Not doing a ton of reading/watching/etc., but more than I was.

( Reading )


( Writing )


( Playing )


( Listening )


( Watching )

I have cried a lot today, but there are joyful things, so that's what I'll focus on.

In no particular order:

• Dodge Poetry Festival is online this year


• Work paid for me to go to Compounded Oppression: Sister’s Circle today


• Takeout Chinese food (we don't eat out much; joy is joy)


• We signed mortgage papers this week. Okay, I signed, but we own the house. Almost*. I am still in shock that I'm a person people will lend six figures to. Of course, I have an inherited house, so this is not purely because my credit, which used to be abysmal, is now what the mortgage person called "a solid B+/A-." It's also because the amount they're lending me is less than half what the house is worth.


• Tomorrow, I'm planning to go pick up the dim sum that we were going to have for my birthday (my mom went into the hospital that day so we postponed it until she could join us and she never came home), take it over to the outside mall near the kid's house, and eat it with her outside. It will be suboptimal, but it will be as great as things can be right now, and that's okay.


• I wrote some poetry and short fiction that I really like this week and last week, and that makes me happy.

* My mom left me the house in trust. I have the option to not include it in community property in my state, but my mom made it as easy as possible for me to deal with the house when she died; I want to do the same for James and the kid. My brother (the trustee/executor) has been really busy, so he hasn't done the paperwork on the property transfer yet, but the mortgage guy is going to help, so that should happen fairly quickly now. We hope.