(no subject)

[serene]

Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail

Again, it's hard for me to know which thing to talk about.

The first kiss in a non-family way was by this guy Tony in ROTC who had been making unsubtle moves on me for a while. I was way too young and scared to want this. I remember one time (I was probably 12 or 13) we were sitting in my family's garage playing on my dad's computer (my dad had built a TRS computer, and we were the only family who had one in my circle). Tony had a blanket wrapped around him because it was cold, and he asked if I wanted to share. I said no, that I wasn't cold, though I was, and pretended not to know he wanted to snuggle. Then we had an ROTC picnic at the end of the year (I may be misremembering times and sequences) and I think maybe he was graduating or just done with ROTC. Anyway, he asked if I was going to give him a kiss good-bye, and I said okay and kissed him briefly. I was very uncomfortable. Later that year, I found out his girlfriend Victoria was pregnant with his baby, and I felt really lucky to have dodged that bullet.

The first kiss with tongue was from the rapist. Not fun.

The first kiss that I initiated/wanted was with the guy I decided to lose my virginity with. We were commune-mates, and he was a really bad relationship choice for me, but the sex was good, and I really liked kissing him. His whiskers used to rub my face a little raw.

The first kiss with someone I loved was with Cute-poet-chick. Here's a poem I wrote about it:

for jennifer

the sweet-paint smell
of aqua nail polish
fills my nose

I can taste the sea

I hold your small hand
in mine,
flatten the cylindrical
brush
against your fingernail,
spreading blue-green glitter ripples
across its surface

our eyes meet

flustered, I look away,
not yet able to match
your gaze,
and suddenly my hand slips,
spilling a tiny drop of this
sticky seawater
onto your fingertip

I apologize,
finish the rest of your hand

the countertop is smooth, cold
under our fingers

you wait,
patient and amused,
as you let it sink in,
what you intend

now, in an instant, 
I am a woman with a mission,
must find the acetone,
get that stray drop of aqua
off your otherwise
perfect manicure

you laugh as I turn myself around,
aimless and fluttery,
feckless fish flopping on a pier

and you speak:

"can we just kiss now,
before we go,
so I won't have to be
obsessing about it all night?"

I laugh
  and blush
    and kiss you,
sea-green fumes in my nostrils

Comments

[jae]

That poem is gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

-J

[serene]

Thanks so much!