(no subject)

Building the box last night hit a couple of snags, but it's all right --
I'll figure it out tonight.

Today, my mental focus is nearly nonexistent, so I'm just rolling with it.
I'm not finding the oomph to write anything, and I will just sit and be
content to be paid for doing a lot of daydreaming. (Hard to believe, but
I'm actually really good at my job, and can do it when my mind is
somewhere else.)

Tonight, a visit to golden_c_turtle's place, and some
box-building. I'm hoping to get all the plants in the ground by tomorrow,
but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I'm really very zen about the
whole thing. After all, I've waited two years for this garden. I can wait
another few days if necessary.

Oh, and by the way

Tully's Antioxidant Smoothie is the
yummiest beverage ever made, practically guranteeing that they will
discontinue it soon.

be nice to me when I'm cranky -- and when I'm not!

In response to a friend's post that advised people not to be mean to zir
while zie's out of coping energy, I wrote the following:

Is there ever a time when it IS okay to argue with a "you're
wrong, you idiot" tone? I mean, this PSA shouldn't be necessary at any
time, I'm thinking. People should not have to gauge my mood to tell if
it's an okay time to be an asshole to me. They should just assume it's
never an okay time to be an asshole to me.

The flipside of this is that I don't expect people to take extraordinary
measures to take my mood into account when they deal with me. Ditto my
food issues, hot buttons, or childhood trauma. Those things are my things,
and my responsibility, and I am in charge of protecting myself around them
in a civil fashion.

To use a personal example, I really really hate being surprised
from behind. If you surprise me from behind, I'm likely to react with
shock and displeasure, but I'm not going to be angry with you -- there was
likely no way for you to know that it's a thing with me[1] , and even if
you already knew it, it's unreasonable for me to expect that any but my
closest loved ones would keep that information filed away in their heads.
If you do it several times after being told about it, that's another
thing, but that rarely happens, and when it has, I've felt fine about
being really blunt about how not-okay it is.

[Edit: This is not solely in response to this friend's post -- it's been
building up for a while in the context of seeing those care-and-feeding
guides that people often put up in their LJs. It's hard for me to read those
and not feel like the person is putting the burden of their idiosyncracies
on me. I don't assume that's the intent, but it's how it often feels to me,
and I wanted to make it clear that I don't hold anyone else responsible
for my unique set of preferences and triggers, within the boundaries
of a basic level of courtesy, which I guess for me comes down to "It's
clear to me that they're not intending insult, and not doing anything I
consider to be blatantly rude." I know that's nebulous, but there you
have it.]


[1] (the person who raped me surprised me from behind)

(no subject)

I feel it coming on me again,
that hermitty aloneness need
and I love you
so if I'm quiet
please don't forget me

(this sounds more melodramatic than it feels. I just need a break
for a while. doing too much this month, and I think I need to go
put my head down for a few days. if you don't see me the next
few days when you thought you would, it's nothing personal.
I'm crashing (social-energy-wise, not emotionally), and I need
to go hide for a bit.)

mactavish, I'm still planning on seeing you this weekend,
but please forgive me if I don't.)

Gardenny goodness

So I was feeling really crashy when someotherguy came to pick me up from work. Some good things happened, though, and I'm feeling much better, though still really wiped out.

1) My seed order came (two things I was having trouble finding in person and ordered online)

2) Some mugs I'd bought for someotherguy on eBay came

3) When I got home, someotherguy had *already built the garden box*! I knew it was a possibility, but he didn't mention it on the way home, so I was completely prepared to make the box after dinner. It is lovely! Behind the cut, you can see photos.

4) Took the box to my plot, filled it with Mel's Mix, and came home to eat pork chops and rest for a bit. Next, I'm going back across the street to do the actual planting. It's so nice that it's almost 7pm and there remain hours of daylight. Yay!

( Three pictures of our garden-in-progress )

It's planted!

I did it! I went over and blocked off my squares, and now they're all planted. Behind the cut is a representation of what's planted where. (cassidyrose, hope you don't mind that I traded one of your cherry tomatoes for some strawberries and herbs.) (Eggplant will come later, as it has to be started inside, and bush beans will go in when something else is harvested or something. I got so many gifts that I didn't have room for everything, and I'm not gonna overplant. You hear me, rsc?)

I took off my shoes and walked in the moist earth, and it took me back to the days on the commune, but this time, I wasn't helping in someone else's garden -- this time I was growing what will please me and my family, and I felt all those feelings that make me start talking woo-woo language -- that connectedness, that sense that my roots go into the earth, all that stuff that for me requires absolutely no belief in a deity or a sentient earth. Anyway, it was glorious, and I'm covered in dirt and very happy.

( the table is behind this cut -- just imagine that the squares are the same size; I've forgotten how to do that in HTML )

Yay!