Yay!

Magazines are packed up, addressed, and ready to mail. Tomorrow, I will mail them, and I will also send electronic copies to those who are getting those (I'd send them tonight, but I'm going to do a few things to reduce the file size some tomorrow -- it's still really too big to be emailing).

I'm very, very happy. The first issue is imperfect -- some of the trimming is less than ideal, and I would have loved to have had a bigger magazine and more art -- but it's beautiful, and I love it.

And now I'm going to go be silly and read myself to sleep with a magazine I've already read a dozen times.

(*bounce*!)

This is probably getting obnoxious

I can't stop looking at the magazine. I show it to everyone who stands still long enough. I've sold a few copies at work, but that's not really why I'm showing it off -- I'm just so happy about it that I can barely contain myself. And I keep thinking about how much better (or at least bigger and more diverse) the next one will be. I'll also have more time to savor the next one, now that all my Big Life Stuff(tm) is done with.

I think we're going to have enough multimedia content to do the CD in summer instead of fall, too.

*bounce*!

The List

I'm very unproductive today. ptigris was doing a gratitude list, and I thought I'd take a quick break from doing fuck-all, and do The List instead.

Been making this list for more years than I can count. It often helps my mood.

Five things that are good about me:

1. I am good at telling people in my life that I love them
2. I have a huge capacity for joy
3. I have healthy boundaries that I communicate well
4. I am a good cook
5. I put my money where my mouth is

Five things I'm grateful for:

1. Modern medical science
2. My incredibly loving family
3. My bosses
4. Modern printing technology
5. Art

Five people or animals who love me without reservation:

1. someotherguy
2. stonebender
3. My mother
4. wtfpotatoes
5. My foster sister, Cindy

Five times in recent memory when I was happy/joyful/contented:

1. When someotherguy and I picked up the magazines
2. When I saw dbubley's smiling face in a recent picture (she's getting better!)
3. When the top ten google hits for "sex after iud insertion" said "go for it" ;-)
4. When I was addressing the magazines
5. When I noticed it had started raining

Five things I'm good at:

1. Cutting myself slack when I fall short of my ideals
2. Making dinner from random pantry ingredients
3. Finding the good things in my friends
4. Extricating myself from toxic relationships
5. Talking to kids as people

Weirdly down

Nothing bad happened today, but still, I feel depleted and as though I had a rough day. I think it's a combination of the stormy weather, the relief of finally having the magazine stuff just about done (mailed the physical copies today, and just need to send out pdfs now) and some understandable still-recovering stuff, but wow, I'm wiped. Y'all won't mind if I just crawl up into a ball of brainlessness and do nothing for a while, huh? Knew you wouldn't.

I cancelled my social engagement for the evening (sorry, bastette_joyce), and will cancel tomorrow if necessary (probably not, wild_irises, but just a heads-up), because Friday morning, I'm flying to San Diego, and I need to be at my best in order to spend five days at mom's.

Okay, off to read LJ posts until, well, until I don't wanna any more.

poem-a-day challenge day 6

This is yesterday's poem, which is supposed to be about something missing:

It was there when I left this morning
the smell of you
clinging to the drapes
and especially my pillowcase

the first thing I noticed when I came home
was its absence
and before I knew that you
had made good on your promise
to leave if it ever got too hard

I knew something was missing,
was wrong,
and I slumped against the door to the hallway
afraid to go any further

poem-a-day challenge day 7

I'm not especially fond of today's challenge poem, but here it is:

she says she likes it that way
clutter everywhere, piles akimbo
and everything, she says,
is where she knows how to find it

we've noplace to sit
so she thinks we're unsociable
and her bathroom scares us
so we don't stay as long as we might

but I've seen her in other people's houses
when she thinks I'm not watching
looking around with joy and wonder
at the clean and tidy landscape
and I know
that she tells herself this fiction
because we love our prisons
to keep from hating ourselves