He's phoning it in, wouldn't you say?

James, hugging me hello after a 10-hour day at work: "Do you have lots and lots of homework to do?"

Me: *whimper*

Him: "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Me: "You can do my homework for me. Duh."

Him: *laugh*

Me: "What do you know about Flannery O'Connor?"

Him: "What? Is that a person?"

Me: *can't decide whether to laugh or whimper some more*

Him: "Well, if it will help, you can talk it out with me -- tell me all about -- wait. What was it again? Flannel O'Donnell? No, that's Rosie's kid. Okay, start over."

Me: *dissolves into giggles*