Notes about the doctor visit yesterday
Dec. 11th, 2003 10:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sereneIn which I muse about health and doctors and weight. Please skip if this is not what you want to read about.
Why is it that I always like my specialists so much more than my primary physicians? I wish the endocrinologist I saw yesterday could be my doctor. He was gentle, personable, efficient, and didn't tell me that all my problems would be solved if I would only lose some weight.
I wanna talk about the procedure itself, because it was fascinating, but I'll put it at the very end, because it's icky.
About health: I am a contradiction. On the one hand, I feel really happy with my body and my health. On the other hand, I have all these symptoms that annoy me, and if you heard me list them, you would think I was a total wreck. The dizziness alone makes me sometimes feel like a liar for saying I'm in good health. Yet for some reason, I feel like a generally healthy person, and I'm happy with the way my body puts up with a fair amount of neglect.
The biopsy doesn't worry me. I have a feeling it's nothing, and even if it's not, I'll deal. Won't be the first serious problem I've worked through, won't be the last, I reckon.
I weigh 70 pounds less than I did when I met![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
someotherguy. I know this because it was shortly after we met that I started losing weight rapidly, as my relationship with cute-poet-chick fell apart and I started spending my time with someotherguy in physically active ways.
I was afraid at first that I was dropping weight because I was ill; it pissed me off that the doctor didn't take that seriously. I mean, I've been the same weight all my adult life, and suddenly I'm dropping 10 or 20 pounds a month, and she thinks this is necessarily a good thing? *sigh* Anyway, some stuff feels better (more flexibility, easier sex, more energy (probably because the anemia is cleared up and I'm moving more)), but there are some drawbacks.
I don't like the looseness of my skin now. I used to fill out all of my skin, and now I only fill out some of it. I don't like that my cute tight clothes are now loose, and my loose clothes are now unwearable. I don't like that people compliment me as though I've done something praiseworthy. I don't like that my hips have given me trouble on and off, I think in reaction to all the walking and, um, flexibility-testing.
Stuff about the doctor visit:
Squick space:
When he told me there was a lump on my thyroid, I didn't worry. When he told me he needed to take some of the fluid out of it to send to the lab, I worried a little. He numbed the area and inserted a needle. What he took out was that black blood stuff you see from a blood blister. He said that it looked like plain old cyst fluid to him, and those are common and respond well to benign neglect. But there was a spot that was very sensitive to his probing, so he got a new needle out and took a few painful jabs at it. The fluid he brought out of that one was more like clear red blood, and he refused to speculate on what it was. What he didn't do is say "Oh, no problem, looks like another cyst." He is sending both samples to the lab. I should know shortly after Christmas. Not worried, but concerned and curious.
Why is it that I always like my specialists so much more than my primary physicians? I wish the endocrinologist I saw yesterday could be my doctor. He was gentle, personable, efficient, and didn't tell me that all my problems would be solved if I would only lose some weight.
I wanna talk about the procedure itself, because it was fascinating, but I'll put it at the very end, because it's icky.
About health: I am a contradiction. On the one hand, I feel really happy with my body and my health. On the other hand, I have all these symptoms that annoy me, and if you heard me list them, you would think I was a total wreck. The dizziness alone makes me sometimes feel like a liar for saying I'm in good health. Yet for some reason, I feel like a generally healthy person, and I'm happy with the way my body puts up with a fair amount of neglect.
The biopsy doesn't worry me. I have a feeling it's nothing, and even if it's not, I'll deal. Won't be the first serious problem I've worked through, won't be the last, I reckon.
I weigh 70 pounds less than I did when I met
someotherguy. I know this because it was shortly after we met that I started losing weight rapidly, as my relationship with cute-poet-chick fell apart and I started spending my time with someotherguy in physically active ways. I was afraid at first that I was dropping weight because I was ill; it pissed me off that the doctor didn't take that seriously. I mean, I've been the same weight all my adult life, and suddenly I'm dropping 10 or 20 pounds a month, and she thinks this is necessarily a good thing? *sigh* Anyway, some stuff feels better (more flexibility, easier sex, more energy (probably because the anemia is cleared up and I'm moving more)), but there are some drawbacks.
I don't like the looseness of my skin now. I used to fill out all of my skin, and now I only fill out some of it. I don't like that my cute tight clothes are now loose, and my loose clothes are now unwearable. I don't like that people compliment me as though I've done something praiseworthy. I don't like that my hips have given me trouble on and off, I think in reaction to all the walking and, um, flexibility-testing.
Stuff about the doctor visit:
Squick space:
When he told me there was a lump on my thyroid, I didn't worry. When he told me he needed to take some of the fluid out of it to send to the lab, I worried a little. He numbed the area and inserted a needle. What he took out was that black blood stuff you see from a blood blister. He said that it looked like plain old cyst fluid to him, and those are common and respond well to benign neglect. But there was a spot that was very sensitive to his probing, so he got a new needle out and took a few painful jabs at it. The fluid he brought out of that one was more like clear red blood, and he refused to speculate on what it was. What he didn't do is say "Oh, no problem, looks like another cyst." He is sending both samples to the lab. I should know shortly after Christmas. Not worried, but concerned and curious.