(no subject)
Nov. 16th, 2004 11:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sereneOn an atheist webboard he frequents, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
someotherguy noticed a thread about Ramadan. Atheists, it was argued, needed our own Ramadan-like thingy. "Uh, no." was the general response, and rightly so. However, my boy never leaves a satire unwritten, so here it is, The Feast of Rubitin:
During the atheist festival of Rubitin ( January 1st through December 31st ) the faithless must observe all of the following duties:
1. No green meat may be eaten.
2. No nonconsensual sexual activities of any sort.
3. No speaking to or requesting favors from anyone who does not exist.
4. No jumping out of an airplane in flight without a parachute or similar device.
5. Breathing during this period is mandatory, with pauses of no more than a minute or two allowed.
The following additional duties are not required, but are thought to bring good health and protect the faithless from harm:
1. Refrain from consumption of tobacco products.
2. Refrain from excessive consumption of alcohol.
3. Wear the ceremonial "seat belt" when traveling by automobile.
4. Once per year, undertake a pilgrimage to both a physician and a dentist who will perform the ritual of "Checkup."
5. Twice per year, visit every smoke and carbon monoxide detector in the home with offerings of fresh batteries.
someotherguy noticed a thread about Ramadan. Atheists, it was argued, needed our own Ramadan-like thingy. "Uh, no." was the general response, and rightly so. However, my boy never leaves a satire unwritten, so here it is, The Feast of Rubitin:During the atheist festival of Rubitin ( January 1st through December 31st ) the faithless must observe all of the following duties:
1. No green meat may be eaten.
2. No nonconsensual sexual activities of any sort.
3. No speaking to or requesting favors from anyone who does not exist.
4. No jumping out of an airplane in flight without a parachute or similar device.
5. Breathing during this period is mandatory, with pauses of no more than a minute or two allowed.
The following additional duties are not required, but are thought to bring good health and protect the faithless from harm:
1. Refrain from consumption of tobacco products.
2. Refrain from excessive consumption of alcohol.
3. Wear the ceremonial "seat belt" when traveling by automobile.
4. Once per year, undertake a pilgrimage to both a physician and a dentist who will perform the ritual of "Checkup."
5. Twice per year, visit every smoke and carbon monoxide detector in the home with offerings of fresh batteries.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 07:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 08:01 pm (UTC)*Brilliant*
Date: 2004-11-16 08:08 pm (UTC)Re: *Brilliant*
Date: 2004-11-16 08:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 04:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 06:54 am (UTC)*giggles*
Date: 2004-11-17 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-16 01:12 pm (UTC)