(no subject)

[serene]

I had planned to be productive this evening, but after putting away laundry while watching "Shut Up and Sing", I sat down to check email and quickly became reeeeeeeally tired. So off to bed with me.

My tumor, according to the ultrasound tech, "takes up pretty much [my] whole thyroid gland". She was worried about me until I told her it had had a clean biopsy a couple of years ago; when I told her that, she was visibly relieved. I have an appointment in a week to talk to the thyroid doc about the results. He thinks even if it's benign, I might want to have it taken out since it's causing me trouble (pressing on my esophagus, causing me pain, etc.).

My mother was eager to hear the news, so I called her. Then, since I'd been to the doctor, she wanted to know...

...how much I weigh.

I was as matter-of-fact as I could be about it (I honestly didn't pay attention -- I know my weight to within a few dozen pounds, but I just don't care about it now that I'm not having alarmingly fast unexplained weight loss and all my clothes are back to fitting). But I still hate that my mother judges how healthy I am by whether or not I'm losing weight, so I explained to her that when I lost a lot of weight (which she was very proud of), it was because I was going through a painful divorce, too grief-stricken to eat, and it was ruining my health. I think she listened, but I don't think she really understood.

Anyway, off to sleep. I've been reading y'all, just not having the oomph to make a lot of comments.

Today was the best day in a week for me. I felt happy and productive and glad to be alive. May we all spend the rest of our lives feeling as good or better.

Comments

[jb98.livejournal.com]

*tucks you in*

Sleep well, dear one.

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

My mother has judged me by my weight, too. It's because she judged herself by her weight.

I'm glad the tumor is benign, but it still sounds scary.

Hugs for you.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i'm losing a bunch of weight due to stress.

my evil plan is that if i break 200, i'm going to hold my mother to her years ago offer to quit smoking if i did.

[tracytreefrog.livejournal.com]

When I go to the doctor she always makes me get on the scale. I swear I do it just to get a reaction from them sometimes*giggles* Cause it only goes to 400lbs and I am abit over that. Then they usually ask if I know what I weigh and I look the nurse straight in the eye and say well my guess would be something over 400lbs*Giggles*

[pipyn.livejournal.com]

I know the tests say your thyroid function is fine, but I have a hard time not thinking that the tumor is realted to the tiredness. Too coincidental. I mean, after my sister had dengue, and she still felt like crap for 6 months, the doctors kept telling her that the tests showed no problem with liver function. My theory is they have certain markers they test for, but there are other things they probably don't know about yet that can have a serious effect. But they aren't testing those, so they miss it.

I had rapid weight loss once from stress, couldn't keep anything on my tummy for months. Everyone kept telling me how great I looked. Felt like crap.