That story I promised

[serene]

So here's the story about the doctor.

First of all, we went almost the entire visit, and the ONLY thing he said about my weight was "and your weight is an issue, but you are aware of that and can make up your own mind about that." I was very pleased that he'd decided to honor my position on that. Then he noticed the sheaf of papers I'd set down -- I took them in case he started haranguing me on the weight-loss surgery (WLS) thing.

D: *starts reading "Why I will not have WLS" that I posted earlier*

S: Yeah, that was in case you were gonna try to talk to me about WLS.

D: *grinning* Well, I am *now*!

And I laughed, and we had this fairly long conversation about my history and feelings about weight and fat. He said "It's my firm belief anyone can lose weight. If I put you in a forced refugee camp, I guarantee you you'd lose weight, but thank god we live in a society where we can choose these things, and that's not what we want for you."

At one point, he said, "I know you're afraid" and I stopped him -- "I'm NOT afraid. I'm just fine with my body whether it's fat or thin, as long as I'm treating it well and it's reasonably healthy."

I told him about the year I lost 100 pounds way too quickly and got sick (I admitted I didn't know if that was a coincidence or not). He said "Well, you didn't do it the RIGHT way," and I said "Doctor, 95% of all diets fail. ALL." and he admitted that was true.

I told him about my sister's disastrous recovery from WLS.

I told him about my eating disorder in young adulthood.

He stopped me and said two things that I really respect:

1) "I'm going to read all this research you brought me. You can quiz me on it next visit"; and

2) "I just want to say that you have my word that I won't bring it up again. You have given me information I didn't have before, and you're a bright woman, and if it's not for you, it's not for you."

I told him that many of my friends think I should drop him as a doctor because of this constant battle we have, but that I think he's a good doctor in general. He said he thinks our conversations are productive and meaningful, and he really respects that I ask questions and do my homework.

It was a very good visit.

Strangely, it may be his drug pushing that makes me go find another doctor, but I really respect his willingness to look outside of his comfort zone on a subject that clearly means a lot to him.

(My cardiologist and gynecologist have both used the words "well, he's an athlete" and "obsessed about weight stuff" about my GP.)

Comments

[baerana.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it went so well and he listened. As for the drug pushing, that bothers me, too — I research everything before I take it and argue with them, make my own recommendations, etc. My doctors accept that I'm in charge of my body, I think we are all happier that way :)

[firecat]

Well done. I hope he reads it and applies it to his other patients as well.

And I hear you about the drug pushing.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

Go you! I'm glad that the conversation went well and I think you were awesome for having it and how you approached it.