(no subject)

[serene]

Men who explain things.

(I allow men to explain things to me that I already understand, far too often. They should stop it, and I should stop allowing it.)

[Edit: To those men who are explaining linux text editors to me, I didn't mean you. I *don't* understand this, and I appreciate the help. It's coincidence that I ran across this article at this time. :-)]

Comments

[ptor.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, yeah, the attitudes of parents....

My parents first knew me as a helpless infant pooping my diaper. But they shouldn't still think of me in those terms now that I'm an adult.

(I will try to remember this with my own kid, and treat him with respect as he grows beyond being in diapers.)

[mollyf.livejournal.com]

I'm seeing myself in these comments already as the mother of a 5 year old. I can see in her expression sometimes that I'm explaining things she already knows. There's a lot she doesn't know, though, so it's interesting territory. I think I'll keep respect in mind.

[ptor.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's a back-and-forth! And I guess that it always will be. :)

Our first little one is 21 months, so we still have the 5-year-old time you describe ahead of us.

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yes, I have a theory that we always think of people as the age they were when we met them. This presents a fairly obvious problem with parents. :)

[pure-agnostic.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of this saying I read once: "A Jewish man is a 13 year old boy until the day his parents die." (Although I came across this saying in a story about Jewish American culture, I think it applies to many families in many cultures.)

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I used to say that my mother had installed The Portal in her house. You know the one I mean -- The Portal that turns adult children into thirteen-year-olds?

(Fortunately, I was subsequently able to uninstall The Portal, at least as it applies to me.)

[ailbhe]

My mother treated us all as adults um. More or less when we became legal adults; it was probably actually tied to when we left school, though.

[kiya]

I realised recently that my gut-level delineator for when people are obviously "grownups" corresponds to "the age my parents were when they had me".

[ptor.livejournal.com]

Then I wish that I could regularly reset my stale assumptions of who someone is, by somehow opening my eyes and meeting them for the first time again. If that makes any sense?

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

This has become the crux of our homeschooling philosophy. The day my 8-month-old son, after I wondered aloud where his shoes were, came crawling out of his room purposefully towards me with one clutched in his tiny fist was the day a brilliant light filled my brain: this little critter not only could understand me, but actually solved a problem for me that I myself couldn't solve! It was a blinding revelation that changed forever how I approached my children, and I think the attitude shift has served me... and them... well.

Not to say that I don't pontificate, but they are pretty good at letting me know when I go into unnecessary lecture mode.

[ptor.livejournal.com]

That's a neat story.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

But see, the point is that women are not men's children, for the most part.

[ptor.livejournal.com]

Absolutely.

I was just wandering off-topic to muse about how parents sometimes treat their kids.