serene | Why I can't stop crying

I've been weepy since yesterday afternoon, and it doesn't seem to be abating much.

I'm not upset about it; just tired.

It was a long, hard week, emotionally, and tears seem to me to be a really reasonable reaction to it.

My sister, who has burned all her bridges, is alone, homeless, and hospitalized. I'm the only one willing to listen to her problems, and I'm the one it hurts the least, so she's been calling me multiple times a day to lay her angst and fear and tears on me. I'm okay with doing this for her -- no one should have stage 3 cancer alone, not even someone who has wreaked the havoc this person has -- but it wears me down.

The kids are both worrying me in their own ways. They have problems of their own making and they want me to solve them. They also have problems that are not their fault because of the parents they got stuck with, and I want me to solve those.

My mom and sister are estranged, so every day this week looked something like this:

Call mom on the way to work to give her the sister update

Get to work and try to get things done between calls from mom and sister

Call mom on the way home to give her the update. Usually then call my aunt, because my mom is afraid she won't remember the details

Get home and encounter a handful of self-inflicted crises from family members who want me to fix their problems

Get treated sweetly by my family, which helps, it really does, but also makes me weepy and fragile

Call out for pizza or eat sandwiches for dinner, because I have neither the energy to clean the kitchen nor cook anything

Lather, rinse, repeat

Today, I am enforcing some downtime on myself. Besides driving the kid to the computer store at 4, I have no plans, and I refuse to make any. Tomorrow, I have a fun plan to go decorate with

loracs, and I'll do that, but other than that, again, no plans. This is how I take care of myself. If I feel like cleaning, I will. If I feel like vegging out in front of the computer with junk food and iced tea, that's what I'll do.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

jae

Wow, that is an awful lot. I would be weepy, too.

-J

eeyorerin

Oh my dear. That is much of a muchness. I am glad you are being good to yourself.

(reply from suspended user)

merielle

Wow, that sounds so hard. I'm really glad you're taking some time for yourself. Many, many hugs offered if you want 'em.

ailbhe

Oh, you poor love. That's so hard and you're doing so so much. I'm glad you're also taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to do the crying.

kalmn

oh, hon. *hug*

firecat

{HUGS}

It's an excellent idea to take some downtime.

I have another suggestion if you are open to Geek Answer Syndrome.

serene

Sure; thanks. *hugsback*

If you haven't already, establish some limits on the times you consider yourself available by phone for helping with the family issues.

I don't know if it would help you, but I find it essential to my stress management to have periods of time when I do not consider myself on call.