Bettycare update
Jun. 19th, 2011 08:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serene[Background for those who don't know the background: my family member, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dbubley, is dying, and her partner loracs is doing most of the hospice care, along with the help of me and some other amazing people.]
One good thing about being on the night shift in caring for our darling Betty is that I get mountains and mountains of the kind of quiet time that I really value, in the middle of the night, when everyone else is asleep, and I can just exist and do as I please. It happens that mostly what I've been doing with that time is playing games onjames_huber's iPad and reading DW/LJ/Facebook, but that's working just fine for me.
I had a moment of overwhelming sadness a little bit ago, and a bunch of worry that I won't do what Betty needs me to do, especially now that she's very spotty in her ability to communicate what she needs.loracs comforted me. We're a good team. She does almost everything, and I do my best to pick up the slack. (That sounds like I'm being self-deprecating, but I really am a pretty decent soldier, and loracs is a good general, so we make a kick-ass army when we get together.)
Heading home today to see if my other family remembers what I look like, and to get my meds and dishwashing gloves and a few other things I didn't think to bring with me. I'll come back here in the morning.
It's not easy, and it's often sad, but truly, these times are some of the ones when I feel my family most dearly. It's not glamorous. It's not sexy. But it's home.
dbubley, is dying, and her partner loracs is doing most of the hospice care, along with the help of me and some other amazing people.]One good thing about being on the night shift in caring for our darling Betty is that I get mountains and mountains of the kind of quiet time that I really value, in the middle of the night, when everyone else is asleep, and I can just exist and do as I please. It happens that mostly what I've been doing with that time is playing games on
james_huber's iPad and reading DW/LJ/Facebook, but that's working just fine for me.I had a moment of overwhelming sadness a little bit ago, and a bunch of worry that I won't do what Betty needs me to do, especially now that she's very spotty in her ability to communicate what she needs.
loracs comforted me. We're a good team. She does almost everything, and I do my best to pick up the slack. (That sounds like I'm being self-deprecating, but I really am a pretty decent soldier, and loracs is a good general, so we make a kick-ass army when we get together.)Heading home today to see if my other family remembers what I look like, and to get my meds and dishwashing gloves and a few other things I didn't think to bring with me. I'll come back here in the morning.
It's not easy, and it's often sad, but truly, these times are some of the ones when I feel my family most dearly. It's not glamorous. It's not sexy. But it's home.