(no subject)

[serene]

I feel the start of something just beneath my skin. Maybe it's garden-variety restlessness, but it feels more like I feel when I'm ready to make a major change. Found myself looking at Green job sites today and not clicking the "san diego only" button. Found myself listing all the things I might want to do with my life. Found myself imagining what my life would be like if it took a dramatic turn, and what that would mean to me and to the people around me. We shall see. Wrote myself this email: "remember: a big dream is worth striving for. you can move, you can do anything, you can go anywhere. Is writing the thing? If so, get to it. Not writing but singing? Then do it. Environment/activism? Whatever! Do it. Teaching, maybe?" We. Shall. See.

Comments

[lcohen]

i need to change your music for you. cue "something's coming" from west side story.

here's another "how serene and i are different" moment: while i read this, i realized that i have never been warned when big changes are about to happen and i was about to be their initiator--i tend to fall into big change or have it thrust upon me. even when i change a job and it's my decision, i always feel like it's the response to something external to me. hmm. might be good to ponder that. in any case--i hope that the change brings all manner of wonderful things into your life.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I may just be hindsighting. I feel like change is imminent, but I don't know if I've felt it before or not, so I'm not sure how I know that's what I'm feeling. If that makes *any* sense at all.

[lcohen]

it does make sense--i think you're self-aware and tell yourself what you need to know when you need to know it. may i offer a *hug*?

Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[lyrical1.livejournal.com]

I think its in the air. I've brushed up the resume, posted it on Monster and have been looking at my favorite port cities again. I know I'm not the only one doing it.

FWIW, I think you'd be a fabulous teacher.

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Seems every person I talk to is relating to this right now. Maybe it *is* something in the air. And thanks for the vote of confidence.

These lyrics (http://www.shawncolvin.com/solyr.htm#shotgun) have been haunting me lately. The word "careening" comes to mind. I don't know what to think right now, or whether to think. I may just ride it out for a few days and then see where I land.

*hug* Love you. Hope your week's going okay.

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[lcohen]

>These lyrics have been haunting me lately.

um. wow. those are powerful.

well if you want a backboard for e-mail or conversation, i'm here, okay?

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[lyrical1.livejournal.com]

I know what is driving my restlessness. I've been gone from Portland for 5 years tomorrow. I'm realizing I don't have a community, a real support system, nor do I have any local friends, and that isn't likely to change anytime soon even if I change my job and stay in the area. Its not for lack of trying on my part. This is a great place to raise kids and settle down. All the lesbians come in pairs and are 40+ and have been partnered for decades. Its just not a place to be young, single and queer.

Pair that with heartbreak, and the reality that if I don't do something about my job, no relationship is ever going to work.

I'm feeling a little extreme these days, but that is what gets me motivated sometimes.

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[schillerium.livejournal.com]

Ooooooooh, Shawn Colvin! Love that song, always have.

Personally, I feel -- in the wake of my recent layoff from the Bored (http://www.wsib.on.ca/) -- that the most imminent change in my life is that I'm even more determined than ever that I will never get sucked into the entry-level clerical trap again. I don't know if the answer is going back to school, finding the strength and inspiration to go into business for myself, or somehow figuring out a whole new strategy for getting the publishing jobs I've been after for the last six years. Remains to be seen. But the one thing I know is, I will never again allow fate to force me into a job that doesn't meet my needs.

I just deserve to have far more control over my life and career than that, you know

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[malte.livejournal.com]

Well I'm your dyed-in-the-wool cynic, so I'd put it down to the recession, people finally waking up from post-Sep-11 inaction (or whatever). That's what it is with me - I'm not really so interested in Changing (I've read too many self-help books [0]), but here I am unemployed, 35 (ooh, midlife crisis!) and actually needing to look at slightly more sustainable ways of living. Cf schillerium's comment above.

[0] Here's a neat article about self-help books (http://www.theoryhead.com/gender/selfhelp.htm) [theory.org.uk]

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

I think its in the air.

Heh. I think you are right.

The last six weeks have firmed up my belief that there is something to astrology. There was an alignment that only happens every 16 thousand years the last weekend of May, with Saturn (structure) and Pluto (the wrecking ball, so to speak) and I read this thing beforehand about these two planets aligning that way, especially since there was also a lunar eclipse to boot, meant the end of Business As Usual on many levels, like it's a chance for each of us individually and as a group to change old patterns.

Since then, I have noticed that the vast majority of people I know have decided to do or try something that they "never would have done". It seems like everyone is going thru this openness to change. I know I have as well.

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[lcohen]

as usual, i am a creature from another planet. no big changes going on here, powers that be willing.

Re: Ch-Ch-Cha-Changes

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

*nod*. here neither.

i get such feelings when i want something to happen and it's just not quite conscious yet, when i am deep down unsatisfied with important aspects of my life. and it's always been good for me to listen -- it gets me out of crappy jobs reasonably quickly, it gets me away from people who're toxic to me, etc.

but i guess it could be scary, especially if one doesn't know what kind of big change to make -- i tend to just open myself to possibilities and let the wind of chance grab me and carry me somewhere. i dunno that i would recommend that as a general approach :-).

*waves at serene*. if mohammed doesn't come to the mountain... *grin*.

-piranha