People. Can't live with them...

[serene]

Me: *walks into Berkeley Bowl with her partner, on the way to buy noms for dinner*

Old dude in a chambray shirt: "Do you want to regain your health?"

Me: "Uh, my health's pretty good, thanks." *turns away*

Him: "Because if you adopt a plant-based diet, you can--"

Me: "Yeah, no thanks." *heads off to buy baguette*

Him: "Just another stupid [some word I didn't hear but can imagine]."

Me: *pivoting to look him in the eye* "You don't know me, and you don't know my life."

Him: "I can SEE it."

I walked away and only seethed for a few minutes, but honestly? I can understand why he thinks it. I can. I can understand why he may even think he wants to "help" me become less repulsive to him. But the thing I do not get, and will never get, even though I spent almost ten years as a proselytizing evangelical Christian: Does he think his approach will ever WORK???

Who the fuck teaches people like this that this is even okay, or that it will be effective? I just have to imagine he's a Southern Baptist or something, and that's the only way he knows how to communicate.

But come on. What the fuck.

Fucking vegans.

Comments

[submarine_bells]

I dunno if I'd ever have quick enough wits to use it in real life, but I like to imagine returning their impertinent idiocy with something like: "you might wanna go back on the meds, hon. You seem to be having behaviour problems again." The idea being that I'd be mirroring their behaviour (rude, unsolicited and probably inaccurate comment about one's perceived health issues) back to them, along with a clear statement that their behaviour's inappropriate.

Of course, a simpler option's a hearty "Go fuck yourself!"

I feel no burning need to be pleasant and polite to folk who offer rude "advice" to complete strangers. In fact, the receipt of such concern-trolling by random wankers in the street can lead to downright hostility on my part. Will they eventually learn? Probably not, but lets find out. :-7

[serene]

I don't use mental illness as an insult, but yes, I always do wish I'd said more/better things. I'm usually too stunned to do so.

[wild_irises]

You know that the French phrase for "I wish I'd said more/better things" is l'esprit de l'escalier, the spirit of the staircase. In other words, the things you think of when the door has been slammed in your face and you're walking down the stairs thinking, "I shoulda said ..."

[serene]

Yep.

[metaphortunate]

What a jerk.

[serene]

Ayup. How's the sunburn?

[metaphortunate]

Really stupid! It's a farmer's tan for someone who only faces north all afternoon, and who had a purse strap slung across her neck. So I'm kind of stripy on the left. Ridiculous!

[zdashamber]

Good on you for having the stones and the wits to come back at him right then and there! Also, "fucking vegans" <--- hee!

But yeah. Oy.

[serene]

Hee! Was hoping no one would be mad about that. I was (I hope) a really considerate and not-preachy vegan, but I'm sure I engendered that sentiment from time to time.

[serene]

Oh, and how's the sunburn?

[zdashamber]

I haven't steeled myself to examine the full extent. Just got home a bit ago, and now I'm sort of wrapped in a fleece jacket, reading, thinking about drinking some more water.

I had forgotten that the backs of my hands burn.

But there were at least 2 applications of sunscreen, so it's probably not too bad.

[serene]

Oy! I'm gonna channel my mother and recommend that you use vinegar. I burn badly when I burn, and white vinegar on the burn really does seem to lessen the length and severity of the pain.

[merielle]

Bleah. What an asshat. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[dancingsinging]

You know, I like to try to engage assholes like that in serious dialogue about discrimination. Not like I think that they are really going to be convinced or anything, but almost everyone falls for my super-sincere face, and I *love* to call people on their shit. I don't know how long I'll be able to pull off the earnest, sincere thing (it worked better ten years ago) but it's my favorite approach. (And sometimes it actually even works out to be a genuine, productive dialogue.)

Anyway, I'm sorry you had to deal with a major asshat. It sounds like you did a good job of not letting it ruin your day.

[jae]

I like this!

-J

[wild_irises]

The "earnest sincere thing" may have a black hole in middle age, but it works again when you get to looking old. :-)

[firecat]

Proselytizing vegans. Ew.

[onyxlynx]

Y'know, I ran into somebody like that around 20 years ago in New York (!). The first two times I was sort of politely non-committal. He tried a third time and I reared back-- and he scuttled off real fast. (I might not even have actually said anything.) (Probably not the same bird, though one never knows...)

Also, it does not pay to get between me and food. ;-)

[jae]

Oh my god, that is SO AWFUL. :(

-J

[wild_irises]

Let's go to the Bowl together and find him, so I know who I have to kill ...

I am so sorry you had to deal with that! Even though I know you and know you'll bounce back just fine.

[stonebender]

*chuckle* Yeah those damned vegans! I think its a win-win for them in their minds. Either they convince you and "save" you or they don't and get to feel virtuous in the attempt.

[flarenut]

I think this is it for a lot of proselytizing (pseudo-proselytizing?) types. If you knuckle under and convert (or appear to), they get positive feedback for being domineering jerkwads, and if you don't, they get to chalk up another person who just won't listen.

In fact, for some proselytizers I suspect it's a really useful way of staying in control of the situation, because if they engage politely and respectfully and still get shot down (as they almost always will) that's got to hurt a lot more than going in knowing the brainwashed masses won't listen you your superior intellect. And even worse, if they engage with someone else at the person does respond positively, they're then in an even more uncomfortable space because no doubt some of their own practices are not entirely uncompromised.

[tachyon]

I would love love love it if all my various affiliate groups -- vegetarians, mothers, bisexuals, bicyclists, etc. etc. etc. -- would all "know better" and not go around spewing offensive things, but unfortunately every group there is has got some grade-A assholes and newly-converted-one-true-wayers in it.

Depending on how I felt I guess I would either give him a lecture or ignore him, but if it was a young dude, now I'm having a thought balloon image of saying "I've been a vegetarian since before you were born, you harassing, pig-ignorant, mansplaining fool!", not that I would be likely to actually do that.

[tachyon]

Oh, and I'm sorry you got harassed and insulted.