Simplifying

[serene]

One of the things that vexes me continually is my love of starting new projects, because I end up with more projects than I can reasonably finish, and then I end up feeling like a failure even though I'm doing productive, exciting, good things a lot of the time. I just can't keep up with all the things I want to do, and I haven't developed the impulse control to either stop starting new things, or to finish what I've started.

I want to improve in this area.

I'm open to suggestions.

Right now, I think what I need to do is do some thinking and planning about which things will get my attention for now. School, certainly. But the magazine has languished, and I probably need to let it go, at least for now. Ditto the food blog. I have seventeen weeks left of school. Maybe I can just resolve to do nothing but school and work for that seventeen weeks and then revisit it.

I get so excited about things. I want to do ALL the things! But I have such limited energy, so it's really unrealistic.

Dammit.

Comments

[snippy]

Hrm, suggestions about not perceiving as fail:
1. You are drafting things, just like a first draft of a novel. Sometimes you find out they don't work for you. Other times you finish the growth/exploration/work you needed to get done in that area, so of course you give up the project (this is only okay when you've haven't made commitments to others).
2. You are entitled, have the right as a human being, to stop doing things that aren't rewarding for you, or are taxing you unreasonably.
3. Rest a bit with the frustration of having more creativity than capacity. Think about how people feel frustrated when their creativity isn't working for them and appreciate the difference.

I'm laughing internally because I think what you wanted was suggestions about not giving up projects, but what I want for you is not to perceive dropping something as fail. That is so me! I have suggestions for exercising determination and persistence, too:

1. Self control is a muscle with limited duration, that is, you can both practice using it to improve your capacity *and* overuse it resulting in temporary loss of the ability. One think that helps me is mindfulness about when I choose to exercise self control and persist at something.

2. I have a jar with folded slips of paper; on each slip is written a project I need to work on. When I have a moment and don't immediately know what I want to work on, I pull a slip and work on that for 15 minutes (using a timer). When the timer goes off I can stop and do something else if I want, or continue that project. If the project isn't finished when I stop, I put the slip back in the jar.

3. For any project you aren't getting back to, do an evaluation. Remind yourself why you started it, how it rewards you, and in what circumstances you would feel justified in stopping your work on that project. Perhaps you will renew your desire towards that project, or perhaps you will decide to give it up-either is fine.

[serene]

No, you actually are right on target with what I want to work on, which is (a) not starting projects I'm unlikely to have the energy to finish; and (b) not feeling bad when it turns out I don't actually want to follow through on something I thought I would enjoy. Thank you!

[firecat]

I'm laughing internally because I think what you wanted was suggestions about not giving up projects, but what I want for you is not to perceive dropping something as fail. That is so me!

Great minds think alike. :)

When I'm thinking straight and not beating myself up, I think of unfinished projects as part of the "cost" or process of also having finishing projects. Because starting a project gives me energy that sometimes spills over into other projects I might be neglecting.

Also I tend to pick up and put down projects. I think of my interests as a deck of cards and sometimes I discard some in my hand and draw others from the deck, but they tend to cycle around over time.

When I evaluate a project sometimes I restart it, sometimes I decide to give it up, but sometimes I decide to let it sit for a while more.

[jae]

I don't do this myself, but I still understand it? I mean, at the beginning of a project, there's a certain kind of excitement that you tend to lose later, and that can make it less fun. So if you have a habit of relying on the "must! do! now!" feelings about a project to get yourself to do it, it totally makes sense that you'd stop doing it after those feelings wore off.

I wish I could tell you how I avoid this in a way that makes for easy advice-giving. I guess part of it is making sure I have manageable-sized tasks for doing something I want to keep doing long-term, because once the "must! do! now!" excitement wears off for a thing, I have much less tolerance for sitting and doing that thing for more than short stints, but said short stints aren't hard to make myself do. But that doesn't sound like the bulletproof solution I want to offer you, sorry. :(

-J

[emperor]

I've taken to considering "sign off $project" as a thing in and of itself. It helps a bit, but I'm still rubbish at finishing things.

[maize]

I think that having time for focusing on things and time for experimenting with new things you might focus on are both important, and that you can feel less guilty by framing them that way. I guess you could model it as kind of like speed dating: Forming a whole pile of connections quickly so that you can pick a small number that you'd like to follow up on.

I also do find that there is something to be said for focus (i.e. finding a way to avoid starting projects even if they seem cool and I want to do them). This of course needs to be modulated with the growth times above, but once you've selected what to do, I think there's value in trying to enforce some kind of focus. I find that the best way to do that is to use identity. If I model my identity so that I'm a person who does X, or does X and Y, then I'm more likely to focus on just X and Y.