serene | December 1: What my life is like now, and what I want it to be

What my life is like now:

Today was a fairly typical day here in Chula Vista. Did some clearing of expired food, piles of clothing no one wants, etc. Spent LOTS of time goofing off (online and on my game). Spent a small amount of time talking to the niblings about their health woes of late. Ran several errands, including lunch out with

james_huber. Made a meat-and-potatoes (literally) dinner for the fam. Listened to my poor uncle moan in pain. Gave my mom her advent calendar.

Most days are something like this, with more or less work (James spent the day sawing up and discarding torn down wallboard), and more or fewer errands. Tomorrow, I will take a day off from people. Wednesday, I have an interview at the local community college. Oh, and I'm working on my website, so that when I get back to doing more freelancing, I have something current up.

On Friday, I'll go to dad's to watch TV and talk about a project I'm going to help him with.

What I want my life to be:

I am feeling thwarted because our apartment won't be ready any time soon. I want a space of my own. I want a separate space for the kid to stay in when she visits.

Ideally, I'd like to work from home. I'm good at it, and it suits my temperament. But it rarely pays well enough to buy health insurance, and that's a bottom-line necessity for my family. So I will work until I figure that out. Provided I get work.

I want my space to be clean and tidy (hard when you are in the guest room of a hoarder). I want the people in my life to be well and happy. I want to spend plenty of time just being, rather than having every day scheduled out.

I am pretty happy with who I am as a person -- I really don't feel a need for self-improvement, with the possible exception of wishing I were better at being around people. But that's for their sake, not for mine. It hurts many people's feelings that I don't want to hang out in person much.

Basically, I'm currently mostly happy, and intermittently frustrated/thwarted. It won't last forever, but I'm tired of it.