(no subject)

[serene]

Sometimes nothing is therapeutic.

That is, sometimes not-doing beats doing; sometimes floating beats paddling; sometimes allowing life to happen beats making life happen.

But I am weary of floating. Weary of treading water, even. Of effort that's just enough to keep me where I am.

It feeds itself, though, doesn't it, the inertia? If I can tread water for ten minutes, I can probably do it for ten hours. But I still get nowhere.

I want. I long for. I desire. I envision. But I do not do. There is value to this. Value in contentment and not seeking more. Value in finding the joy in where I am. But I want. Am I willing to go get? Am I even willing to do the work that fills in the blanks, the spaces where I know what I want but don't know how I would ever go about getting it without getting rid of all I have and value? Am I willing to risk losing the comforts I'm becoming spoiled by?

If you think you know what this burble is all about, you're one step ahead of me.

Comments

[lyrical1.livejournal.com]

I want. I long for. I desire. I envision. But I do not do. There is value to this. Value in contentment and not seeking more. Value in finding the joy in where I am. But I want. Am I willing to go get? Am I even willing to do the work that fills in the blanks, the spaces where I know what I want but don't know how I would ever go about getting it without getting rid of all I have and value? Am I willing to risk losing the comforts I'm becoming spoiled by?

I don't know specifically what this burble is all about, but I've been having a similar dialouge with myself lately.

[firecat]

Yep, me too.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

Heh. I had that conversation with myself for a long time...

[lcohen]

not sure but wanting to be helpful.

if i move this over here, then ripples will always bump into that over there--maybe nudge it a little, maybe splash over it and drown it. but we have to keep moving at least a little or we sink?

can you twitch your tail and not find yourself 100 yards downstream, but only 2 yards further from the bank? will seeing what's in this stand of reeds suffice or do you need to explore that bit of coral over there? or to be more plain--can you explore what it is that you are longing for with just a little movement, knowing that you may upset whatever applecarts are nearby but without the intent of moving very far away, or is the feeling so strong that to indulge it automatically implies to do something/be someplace very different than you are now?

you don't have to answer that, by the way--i'm interested to see if i'm asking the right questions, primarily.