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friendship doesn't cost much, just everything
Aug. 4th, 2005 07:31 pm[copied in email to my mother]
I've been broke (not poor, just broke) most of my life. Outside of one year when I made around $25K, I've lived at or below the poverty line most of my adult life, and we hovered there for a bit of my childhood, as well. And yet I'm the child of the most generous human being I've ever met. Every penny she has is spent on her family and friends (and strangers), until she has no pennies. Every hour of every one of her days is filled with things she does for others. At our very poorest, our friends were welcome around the table, because mom always made sure we had enough food, even if it was the very simplest of foods.
Usually, in any group of peers, I'm one of the ones with no cash. I don't often have the money for expensive gifts, and sometimes not any gifts at all. Putting together money for travel was possible in that $25K year, but almost never before or since. As often as not, a person gets, as my mother got today, a phone call (or an email) to commemorate a birthday or anniversary (if I remember, but that's another issue).
Where am I going with this? Oh, yeah. I have learned, mostly from my dear mother, other ways to be a good friend besides buying people stuff.
I've learned to listen better because my mother always listens to me, and that makes me feel valuable.
I've learned to be there for my friends, even when it's inconvenient, or costs me something.
I've learned to offer my last dime, because at least I have a dime.
And I've learned that there is *always* enough food for one more person, even if it means scrounging through the cupboard for something to throw together to add to the meal.
Happy birthday, Momma Duck -- Oh, wait, it's past midnight -- A very merry Unbirthday, Momma Duck, and thank you for all you did to make me a good and generous person. It was a lot.
Love,
Baby Duck
I've been broke (not poor, just broke) most of my life. Outside of one year when I made around $25K, I've lived at or below the poverty line most of my adult life, and we hovered there for a bit of my childhood, as well. And yet I'm the child of the most generous human being I've ever met. Every penny she has is spent on her family and friends (and strangers), until she has no pennies. Every hour of every one of her days is filled with things she does for others. At our very poorest, our friends were welcome around the table, because mom always made sure we had enough food, even if it was the very simplest of foods.
Usually, in any group of peers, I'm one of the ones with no cash. I don't often have the money for expensive gifts, and sometimes not any gifts at all. Putting together money for travel was possible in that $25K year, but almost never before or since. As often as not, a person gets, as my mother got today, a phone call (or an email) to commemorate a birthday or anniversary (if I remember, but that's another issue).
Where am I going with this? Oh, yeah. I have learned, mostly from my dear mother, other ways to be a good friend besides buying people stuff.
I've learned to listen better because my mother always listens to me, and that makes me feel valuable.
I've learned to be there for my friends, even when it's inconvenient, or costs me something.
I've learned to offer my last dime, because at least I have a dime.
And I've learned that there is *always* enough food for one more person, even if it means scrounging through the cupboard for something to throw together to add to the meal.
Happy birthday, Momma Duck -- Oh, wait, it's past midnight -- A very merry Unbirthday, Momma Duck, and thank you for all you did to make me a good and generous person. It was a lot.
Love,
Baby Duck