Apr. 27th, 2007

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I had planned to be productive this evening, but after putting away laundry while watching "Shut Up and Sing", I sat down to check email and quickly became reeeeeeeally tired. So off to bed with me.

My tumor, according to the ultrasound tech, "takes up pretty much [my] whole thyroid gland". She was worried about me until I told her it had had a clean biopsy a couple of years ago; when I told her that, she was visibly relieved. I have an appointment in a week to talk to the thyroid doc about the results. He thinks even if it's benign, I might want to have it taken out since it's causing me trouble (pressing on my esophagus, causing me pain, etc.).

My mother was eager to hear the news, so I called her. Then, since I'd been to the doctor, she wanted to know...

...how much I weigh.

I was as matter-of-fact as I could be about it (I honestly didn't pay attention -- I know my weight to within a few dozen pounds, but I just don't care about it now that I'm not having alarmingly fast unexplained weight loss and all my clothes are back to fitting). But I still hate that my mother judges how healthy I am by whether or not I'm losing weight, so I explained to her that when I lost a lot of weight (which she was very proud of), it was because I was going through a painful divorce, too grief-stricken to eat, and it was ruining my health. I think she listened, but I don't think she really understood.

Anyway, off to sleep. I've been reading y'all, just not having the oomph to make a lot of comments.

Today was the best day in a week for me. I felt happy and productive and glad to be alive. May we all spend the rest of our lives feeling as good or better.

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serene

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