(no subject)

I'm a big Normal Bob fan, even though he's often juvenile. But I really loved his response to a bit of fanmail recently. It says a lot about how I live my life.

1. When you appear in public dressed as Satan or not dressed as Satan but actively opposing the dipshits who espouse their sanctioned retardation (i.e. Christianity) do you ever fear that some no-neck moron would assault you physically? Have you ever actually been assaulted by said no-neck morons? I fear for your safety for there are many no-neck morons that would think they do their worthless god a favor by putting you in the hospital.

No, there is no fear on my end of the no-neck morons. One of the major revelations I've had in the last several years is that we humans tend to fear shit that ain't never gonna happen, and then we let that fear stop us. Remember that part in Fight Club where he describes how difficult it can be to pick a fight with someone who will actually go to the lengths of literally fist-fighting you? Well, there's a lot of truth to that statement. And that goes double if you're a 6'3" shaved-head man with adequate posture who looks where he's walking. The addition of red face paint, horns and 4" platform shoes doesn't hurt either.

This is it for me. It's not that no one could possibly ever harm me for being bi, poly, an atheist, or fat. It's that it makes no sense to rule my life based on that, when the odds of its happening are so small as to make the worry about it more dangerous to my health than the reality of it. (I would add that if I die for being my open, honest self, that's not the worst way to go.)

I say this knowing that I'm not immune to violent crime -- I've been on the receiving end of violent crime, and I'm here to say that for me, anyway, the fear surrounding being attacked has been far worse than the event itself, by at least an order of magnitude. It might be the best thing that ever happened to me was being nearly killed, because now I can say, "Oh, wow, I've done that, and I lived through it, and it wasn't the life-ruining thing I might have assumed it would be."

Not that I would wish violence on anyone, and not that I think it's A-OK for people to attack other people, but if I have to choose between a violent death and a death-by-degrees of closing my life off little by little in reaction to my own fears, I know what I choose. (And no, those aren't the only two choices, thankfully.)

More family-of-origin drama

I spent last night trying to help my nephew (known herein as Munchkin The Elder) figure out what to do after he ran away following a fistfight with his mom. Cops were called; he was escorted home against his wishes; his mother left and said she's moving out, but she's back now; things are very much up in the air right now. I am out of tears. I'm essentially numb, emotionally. I don't know what's next. I do know that he'll be up to visit us for a week or so, so everyone can have a break.