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Mar. 7th, 2009 08:51 pmIt's a frequent complaint on my thyroid cancer listserv that people gain weight when their thyroid hormones (and consequently their metabolisms) go all wacky. Mostly, I just ignore that. But today, one of the women said something like (I'm paraphrasing) "Isn't it silly that in all this cancer stuff, the thing that's most upsetting to me is that I've gained ten pounds?"
I said:
Someone else on the list said that wishing one is sick to lose weight is way different from being upset at gaining weight when one is sick. I said:
My "People aren't going to like me now" alarms are going off, but many, many people will tell this woman (and a few already have) that it's right and natural for her to be dismayed at a little weight gain, and I really didn't want that to be the only thing she heard, especially not after she expressed her own worry that it was silly/crazy to be worried about a thing like a few pounds when she's fighting cancer.
If you think I'm being an asshole to her, go ahead and tell me. I can take it.
I said:
To be honest, yes, that does seem a bit silly to me, but I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who will do things like wish they were sick so they can lose weight.
Someone else on the list said that wishing one is sick to lose weight is way different from being upset at gaining weight when one is sick. I said:
Speaking only for myself, I think they're two sides of the same coin, which is the ingrained weight-loss-is-always-good/weight-gain-is-always-bad indoctrination of this culture. If my body reacts to recovering from a serious illness, and a decreased metabolism, by packing on a few protective pounds (and that's what weight gain is for, biologically speaking -- protection), that's something to accept as an adaptive measure my body is taking, in my opinion, not to mourn or beat oneself up for.
(On a tangent, but it feels relevant to me: I lost far too many friends to AIDS in the '80s and '90s, and I remember a t-shirt that some of my friends wore -- "Get fat;stay alivedon't die [thanks,pantryslut]". )
My "People aren't going to like me now" alarms are going off, but many, many people will tell this woman (and a few already have) that it's right and natural for her to be dismayed at a little weight gain, and I really didn't want that to be the only thing she heard, especially not after she expressed her own worry that it was silly/crazy to be worried about a thing like a few pounds when she's fighting cancer.
If you think I'm being an asshole to her, go ahead and tell me. I can take it.
