An Adult Child Abuse Survivor's Guide to the Holidays

I wish I remember who pointed me to this first (probably wordweaverlynn or supergee, I'm guessing), but it's been kicking my ass (in a good way) for a few days, and I am finally getting around to posting it:

An Adult Child Abuse Survivor's Guide to the Holidays.

Quoting my comment there:

About 20 years ago, I stopped going to family holidays because they made me too crazy. It took a few years for people to stop hounding me about this, but I would tell them (the ones I actually care about, that is), "Hey, look, I love you, but I don't need to see the whole family in the same room at the same time. [abuser] makes it so miserable; I'd rather see you when we can just sit and relax and catch up." And then I would do that -- make time to see the family members I love, and completely avoid the one I hate, and who made every holiday a festival of screams, slamming doors, tearful/afraid children, and passive-aggressive garbage.

(By the way, telling someone who gets it, as I'm doing now, is also therapeutic. Thanks for inviting this.)

(The adult who abused me as a child is not the person I avoid; that person is no longer part of the family, so I did Thanksgiving with mom this year, and it was nice and peaceful.)

(no subject)

I must repeat this over and over until it gets into my head:

Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.
Do not engage the fundie, Serene; it does no one any good.

Harumph.