Date: 2003-05-15 09:48 am (UTC)
ext_2918: (writinggecko)
From: [identity profile] therealjae.livejournal.com
Aww, thanks! :-)

-J

Date: 2003-05-15 10:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serenejournal.livejournal.com
Sure! I'm having fun. But, um, and I feel dumb:

I didn't dare look at him, but we sat there for what must have been a full half hour, watching the sun set over the Atlantic in the November cold.

Sunset? In the east?

Date: 2003-05-15 10:46 am (UTC)
ext_2918: (Default)
From: [identity profile] therealjae.livejournal.com
Well. The sun does set there, too, you know!

How would you rephrase it?

-J

Date: 2003-05-15 10:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serenejournal.livejournal.com
If they're facing the Atlantic, the sun sets behind them. I don't know; it's been a long time since I was in Connecticut. I guess I would talk about the gloaming, or the reflection of the light from behind them or something. I feel a little insecure for mentioning it.

Date: 2003-05-15 10:56 am (UTC)
ext_2918: (Default)
From: [identity profile] therealjae.livejournal.com
Oh, don't worry; web-published stuff is always a work in progress. I'll file away the suggestion for a thing to change the next time I get a chance to rewrite this one. :-)

-J

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