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Jul. 8th, 2009 09:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Note: I forbid you to read under the cut if your feelings will be hurt by my (and
someotherguy's) mocking of the Spoons metaphor. I've been pretty vocal about not liking the metaphor, but I'm really not trying to keep you from liking it or anything.
serene: telling people has been more stressful than the thing itself today, if that makes sense.
I think it takes more social energy than I really had to spare.
"I'm out of spoooooooooons, I'm so speeeecial!"
;-)
ailbhe says "I'd come and hold your hand through the doctoring if I could. I'd send you a hand through the mail, but I doubt it would be comforting..."
someotherguy: you should pick a new random metaphoric object every day, especially when dealing with other people's drama.
"i'm sorry snowflake, but I can't help you today...I've run out paperclips."
"I'd love to listen to you whine about your sub-tertiary LDR, but I'm all out of dog polish."
"I wanted to post an encouraging comment here, but I already have seven dust-bunnies today. I'm sure you understand."
serene: *laugh*
that's awesome!!!!!
(I don't really forbid you -- I mean, how would I? -- but I encourage you to spare yourself the angst if the Spoons thing is important to you in any way, or if being mocked will hurt your feelings.)
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I think it takes more social energy than I really had to spare.
"I'm out of spoooooooooons, I'm so speeeecial!"
;-)
ailbhe says "I'd come and hold your hand through the doctoring if I could. I'd send you a hand through the mail, but I doubt it would be comforting..."
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
"i'm sorry snowflake, but I can't help you today...I've run out paperclips."
"I'd love to listen to you whine about your sub-tertiary LDR, but I'm all out of dog polish."
"I wanted to post an encouraging comment here, but I already have seven dust-bunnies today. I'm sure you understand."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
that's awesome!!!!!
(I don't really forbid you -- I mean, how would I? -- but I encourage you to spare yourself the angst if the Spoons thing is important to you in any way, or if being mocked will hurt your feelings.)
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Date: 2009-07-08 05:04 pm (UTC)... where can I buy some dog polish?
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Date: 2009-07-08 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-09 05:18 am (UTC)None of which detracts from my desire for dog polish...
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Date: 2009-07-09 01:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-08 06:39 pm (UTC)I've never really cared for that particular metaphor either except as a spontaneous explanation from the person who originally used it. Without any context, it actually makes it harder to explain what you're trying to say (for people who don't know).
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Date: 2009-07-08 06:53 pm (UTC)I accept that some people read less baggage around "I have no spoons today" as opposed to "I have no energy today", but I don't see it, and I think it tries to make energy-that-people-with-invisible-disabilities-have some sort of special subset of energy-that-humans-have, and as a person with an invisible disability, I just don't buy it. It really sets off my special-snowflake alarms.
Also, spoons are concrete things, and if you take one away from me, I really won't have it to eat pudding with. If I don't have energy right now, though, any number of things can happen: My energy can mysteriously return; I can do something taxing and my energy can ebb so low that I want to cry, or that I collapse; I can do something taxing and my energy can mysteriously increase! Spoons just are not a good metaphor for me, even if everyone understood what they referred to.
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Date: 2009-07-08 08:51 pm (UTC)(I think the spoons metaphor works for the people for whom it works because spoons are concrete and energy is not, but I don't think it works well enough to want to use it around or explain it to people who don't already understand it.
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Date: 2009-07-08 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-08 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-09 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-09 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-09 01:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-09 01:42 pm (UTC)I apologise, and will try to be stricter with myself about not using it.
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Date: 2009-07-09 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-10 08:25 pm (UTC)Spoons is also a not-great metaphor for me lately, because I usually have no idea how MUCH energy I have for the day until it's getting low. One day I'll take the subway to and from work and barely notice it, another day I take the subway to work and then have to get a cab home because if I try to take the subway I'm going to collapse somewhere along the way. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to already be sitting down when it happens.
But yeah, having the tangible object representing the energy I have be spoons, instead of paperclips or pennies, is quite random, and amusing. It also led to a very sweet moment, when I asked Boyf to clean the catbox for me cos I didn't have the energy, and he said 'yes, you can have one of my spoons', handed me the spoon he'd used to eat dessert a few minutes before, and then cleaned the catbox.
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Date: 2009-07-09 05:43 am (UTC)What's interesting is, the feminist site, shakesville, uses teaspoons as a symbol as well (someone commented about feeling the fight against sexism was like emptying the ocean with a teaspoon which lead to "the silver teaspoon awards", etc.) so now spoons are all wrapped up in my mind as good, valuable things to have. anyway. :)
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Date: 2009-07-09 01:24 pm (UTC)mock, mock, mockity mock
Date: 2009-07-09 07:35 pm (UTC)love the spoon thing. it comes closest to how my lack of energy feels (what you describe is really different from how it feels for me).
and we're all special snowflakes. deal. :)
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Date: 2009-07-09 07:39 pm (UTC)it's "energy" - non-concrete object - a thing some able-bodied people / people with no health issues think there is actually an endless supply of if the person "really wanted to do it"
v.
whatever concrete object that you can actually run out of once all have been spent. the fact that someone started using spoons and now a lot of people have heard that metaphor just means easier short hand
being a geek, i'd rather use something like energy bars from a video game. or mushrooms. but anyway :)
Not hurt, or angsty, but not laughing much either
Date: 2009-07-09 11:10 am (UTC)Are you mocking it based on anything other than 'this isn't how I think, so it looks silly to me'? Because I try not to mock people on that basis, myself. It tends to be ... othering.
Just so you know, 'special' can be (among other things) a snide and insulting term for 'disabled' in my lexicon; not one I'd ever use, but one I hear. I suspect it isn't in yours, because you don't strike me as someone who'd use the term in relation to spoon theory if it was, but the way I would naturally read:
'I'm out of spoooooooooons, I'm so speeeecial!'
is deeply ablist. I'd be amazed to find that's how you meant it, though, so that really is a 'just so you know'.
Re: Not hurt, or angsty, but not laughing much either
Date: 2009-07-09 01:27 pm (UTC)re: spoon language mockery
Date: 2009-07-09 01:56 pm (UTC)In the adding/changing random objects-as-metaphors, housemate has added "pumpkins" as of last night. I'm not sure I entirely grasped the details, but you can apparently lose spoons and gain pumpkins simultaneously, which is not good. I gathered that one gains pumpkins late at night when one should long ago have left the ball, glass slipper or no.
I worry a bit about the able-ist appropriation of the term (for which I am totally to blame, along with many others). On the one hand, I occasionally can refer someone to Christine's pdf, which I think is a very good thing. On the other, well. I'm not remotely disabled. I haven't resolved that bit, and don't know what I'll do about it.
In the mean time, though, go right ahead and make fun of my use of "spoons" - your posts are always a delight to read :)
Pumpkins
Date: 2009-07-10 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-09 07:58 pm (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2009-07-10 01:44 pm (UTC)