(no subject)

[serene]

Life has been such a mix of good and difficult lately that it's impossible for me to imagine doing anything except putting one foot in front of the other and waiting out the difficult parts. If I think too hard about the difficult stuff, I start to hyperventilate. If I think about the good stuff, I make it through every day with some joy intact. So I'm thinking about the good stuff, and doing my best to either ignore or conquer the difficult stuff.

Now, the nature of some difficult things is that they become even more difficult when you ignore them. Mold and bills, for instance. But that's just a risk I have to take. I'm taking small bites right now, and, to stretch a metaphor, chewing is lots of work.

I can't bear to get more specific than that, because crying is not what I want to be doing right now. Besides, we leave for Torchwood in a little bit, and that is one of the joyful things, so I can go ahead and ignore the tough stuff for a bit longer.

If you have an urge to share some joyfulness with me tonight, that'd be cool. I think I'll also give The List a try. That often helps.

Comments

[snippy]

Joyfulness: I'm really enjoying Torchwood: Children of Earth. In the last few months I've turned 2 people at work on to 2 different woman-written urban fantasy series, and loaned a new-ish Ursula K. LeGuin to another. I'm really liking my body lately, some because I'm finally getting stronger after my injury last year and some because I like the clothes I'm making (that is, I like to make them with my creativity and skills and I like to wear them, they're comfortable and when I see myself in the mirror I smile).

The first boy I ever crushed on (and we dated for a few months when I was 14) friended me on Facebook--I literally haven't seen him since high school graduation in 1979. I ate the first lemon cucumber from my garden yesterday and it was delicious.

[wordweaverlynn]

Gabriel has forgiven me for going away.

I survived a trip back east to visit my family.

I live here, among people who know me, accept me, even love me. Here, where I am normal. This is a great joy.

And a poem:


She Tells Her Love While Half Asleep

Robert Graves

She tells her love while half asleep,
In the dark hours,
With half words whispered low;
As earth stirs in her winter sleep
And puts out grass and flowers
Despite the snow,
Despite the falling snow.

[onceamy]

Taking pleasure from the little things: I've got some productive work done, my hormonal migraine is gone, and I feel like I might just be able to do something else :).