Risk-takers, gather 'round.

[serene]

I know we all take risks.

Tell me about a risk you took that was big and maybe even scary, but you're glad you took it, because it turned out to be worth it.

I could really use to hear some happy endings today. (I'm doing fine, not unhappy or anything, but I'm psyching myself up for this risky move, and you can help.)

Comments

[trinker.livejournal.com]

I left a 9 year relationship, not knowing where I was going to end up.

I'm glad I did.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Yeah. *hugs* I immediately thought of you.

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

I asked G why we had broken up 8 years previously, and in parallel persuaded D that we could make polyamory work in practice. It was terrifying, and risky, and really hard ... and it's worked out wonderfully :-)

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Yay, that's lovely!

You know all this, but ...

[therealjae.livejournal.com]

I went into a field that took ten years of post-secondary education to train for, and for which there are only one or two jobs a year in all of North America. I'm not any sort of risk taker personality-wise, and it worried me for years. I really wanted to get a job in my chosen field in a place I could stomach living in. I didn't think either of those things was possible, much less both of them.

Although my life has changed a lot since then, and I've gone through periods of feeling like I don't want a job in my chosen field after all, I did get a job, and a very good one at that. Not only that, but I fell completely in love with the city I ended up living in, and now feel settled in terms of place for the first time in my life (or as settled as I get, anyway). I have job security, a decent income, students I love, and very very good friends. I don't regret my path at all.

-J

I may have known it, but...

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This kind of thing is really helping.

[artemii.livejournal.com]

i moved to a country where i barely knew a word of the language and didn't know a single person there prior to moving.

it worked out superbly. it was one of the best times of my life, thus far.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Wow; that's *amazing*. Thanks!

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

When I was living with my primary, a man who moved to this area to live with me, I moved out, to save my sanity and hopefully our relationship. I was quite afraid that he would never forgive me.

We're doing better than ever. :)

*big encouraging hugs*

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's really great! I don't think I knew that about you. *hugsback*

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

7 and 2/3 years ago (ish - it was July 1996) I ran away to London because I had to get away from the mess I'd made of uni and my relationship. I had no job lined up and would be staying with someone I was in love with who wasn't in love with me. I think I had less than a grands worth of money - certainly not much more than that. Within a year I had a career I still (mostly) love and had met the wonderful Alex and many people who are still great friends.

For a slightly more planned risk - in 2001 I got made redundant and decided to use the money to move up to Edinburgh. While it hasn't always been perfect (Alex has had trouble finding work, we still sometimes feel rather isolated, my miscarriage (which I realise can't be blamed on the place but adds to the bitter sweet feeling)) it was a great decision for us and we've never regreted it.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm so glad that you're happy.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

I'd been planning on moving in with a friend.

Then we got involved. This made me pause.

I moved in anyway.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

And you're glad?

[lyrical1.livejournal.com]

When I was 19, I left my very sheltered/conservative all-girls college to go intern on a cruise ship in Greece. I hated Athens when I arrived, and it was the only time I'd traveled abroad alone. I was petrified. I was only supposed to stay for 4 weeks, but I stayed for the whole summer! I loved it. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Going, staying and then "defying" my parents by staying on was very empowering.

Now, I'm facing some of the same things you are. Moving and relocating is scary. FWIW, I think you'll do fine, and I think you are making a good (but reversible, if necessary) decision.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

God, that sounds exciting and scary! I think I'm going to have a blast (largely because when I'm with my partners, I *always* have a blast), but it's still cheering me up to hear all these stories.

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

I left my home and family and friends to move cross-country to a major metropolitan area I'd never visited, to live with someone I'd met once, hoping to get one particular job. I had no money, no car, a cat, and huge credit card bills. I was trying to rent out my condo because I couldn't quite bear to part with it.

I got the job. I love the boy. I lost the cat. I sold the condo. I still have huge credit card bills, but they don't panic me.

And when I move again, with the boy, in 8-12 weeks, to a chronically depressed major metropolitan area clear across the country, I'll be leaving behind people I love, and lots of intense memories, and a place I'll want to come back to visit over and over for the rest of my life.

That's good, I think.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I think so, too. Thanks, and *hugs* if you want them.

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

Moving to the Bay Area.

How's that? :-)

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Sounds so... umm... familiar. :-)

We'll be neighbors in about a month! Yay!

[apis-mellifera.livejournal.com]

5 years ago, I left my family and friends behind in Michigan to move in with my boyfriend in Nebraska. Then, 18 months ago, I left him in Nebraska to move to Delaware--not quite on a whim, but certainly chasing a rainbow, which I mostly found. I miss my boyfriend like crazy, but he's making plans to come out here permanently after he gets his doctorate.

Things haven't always been great, but definitely worth it.

And I've managed to pretty much cure myself of my packrat tendencies. Which is a great thing.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I am so glad you found your rainbow!

(And I've decluttered almost completely in the past three years, so I know how satisfying that can be.)

[geminigirl]

Left New York to pursue a job and relationship in DC. Took longer than I thought to find the job, the relationship was, to put it mildly, a disaster. Found a great job, have wonderful friends and relationships that I'm very happy in.

Risk taking is scary, but you have a support system that is incredibly strong, and you yourself are strong and wise.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much; I hope you're right, and I'm so glad you're happy.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

I more or less unilaterally walked out on a nearly-twenty-year business partnership (The Other Change of Hobbit) with two very close friends, one of whom was an ex-romantic-partner as well as a business partner. We'd been through some transitions and frictions, we'd more or less decided to close the store, and then one of the partners got fired with a new sense of possibility and decided he wanted to keep going. I said, basically, "Fine; good luck, and do it without me." I thought there was a very serious chance that I would lose one extremely important friendship completely, and perhaps damage the other.

In fact, the friendship I was afraid of losing has only gotten stronger. It got stronger immediately and has more or less steadily strengthened since. The friendship I was afraid of damaging has had other factors, but I deeply believe it was unhurt by my leaving the business partnership.

And for myself, I often describe it as one of the best moves I ever made in terms of stress relief, time management, priority-setting, and a generally good life.

Go you!

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I knew a tiny bit of that story, but I really appreciate reading about how stress *reduces* as the result of a risk someone takes. Thanks.

[red-frog.livejournal.com]

You know this, but:

Met a guy on 2/7.
Moved in with him around 3/20.
Married him on 8/9.

That it ended far sooner than we'd anticipated does not mean that it was not one of the best risks I've ever taken.

Others are:
Going freelance full time (that worked out beautifully)
Taking a job again
Leaping headlong into a relationship from which I expect good things and moving 3,000 miles for the hell of it

I don't believe in happy endings, because there are no endings while you're doing it. (Put another way to someone else, you cannot succeed at anything while you're still doing it--it's not until you stop that you know whether you succeeded or not.) You'll be fine mostly because you have the temperament to be fine.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thank you, precious. I hope it's not creepy to say the fact that you're fine lets me know I'll be fine.

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

I'm not much of a risk taker but...

In early 2001 I quit (well, actually, I walked out of) my job of 2.5 years without a new job lined up, or even in sight. I held a director-level position and was paid good money, but the job was sucking my soul and destroying my health, not to mention there were some serious ethical concerns I was having over certain business practices. I knew that I would probably not get a good recommendation (the company management hated anyone who dared to quit), but I did it anyway. I have never looked back or thought twice about that decision. Finances were hard, but I have my dignity and a lot of my health back.

Almost three years ago, I started to rebuild a friendship with P., and ex with whom I had been estranged from for 3.5 years. It was a huge risk emotionally for both P. and me. We built a very close friendship and were very happy as friends. Then we took a bigger risk and became romantically involved nine months ago. Huge risk, but even bigger return. We are very happy together and have never looked back.

After not dancing for twelve years I took a jazz dance class at SJSU. I was the fattest student, one of the oldest students, and was far below most of the other students in terms of skill-level. It was huge risk for me in terms of body-image/self-esteem issues, but I did it and, well, current injury aside, haven't stopped dancing since. And, I got involved with Big Moves as a result and now help other people overcome fears related to being a fat dancer.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

That all sounds really exciting and scary. Maybe you should reassess your opinion that you're not a risk-taker. :-)

[ailbhe]

http://ailbhe.ossifrage.net/aboutme/exodus.cgi

.. the tale of why I called my mother one weekend and said "Mum, I've quit my job."

"You've what?"

"And I've moved."

"You've moved?"

"To London."

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

WOW!!! I think you win. :-)

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

Well, years ago, I told this woman I planned to try to kiss her if/when I met her, and she said she expected she might respond warmly to such an overture.

I wasn't in the best mental/emotional state, but I was determined to follow through on that promise. I'll give you three guesses as to which lovely lady named Pat Kight I took this risk with :-).

There was also my attempt to experiment with certain forms of sex play with that same gorgeous gal that turned out wonderfully.

I can go into other things that *didn't* involve her, if you'd like.

Yeah, right.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

What are the odds that I'm gonna ask you to stop talking about Pat?

[elynne.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if mine counts as "successful" yet or not. :] But I took a risk on going to school, and I'm glad I did; things haven't turned out as I had ideally hoped, but I'm full of fire and dedication for this profession I love. I guess I can offer a counterpoint of "sometimes, when it doesn't work out, it works out anyway."

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

That's such a good thing to remember; thank you!

Risk taking

[tedesson.livejournal.com]

It's hard for me to think of a single instance where I took a risk and things turned out well, because it happens so frequently.

I went to a meeting this morning for a business networking group, and though the organizer didn't sell me on his consulting service, I did have a lovely half hour chat with a business friend of mine that may turn into more work. (I used to hate going out to those sorts of events, but the more I go, the easier it gets. Risk is like that, taking small risks reduces the fear of taking all sorts of risks.)

Also this week I applied for a Line of credit and new mortgage. It was quite easy, but I was still a tiny bit concerned because I always worry that the bank will say no. Of course there was no problem with that, and hopefully it should be all done this week.

Things have been going so well for me lately, I'm having a hard time thinking of an example where I took a risk and it didn't turn out well.

Your move will be more fabulous than you ever dreamed. Doing the right thing always is.

Re: Risk taking

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Can I just tell you that I keep reading this comment of yours and feeling such a feeling of peace? I'm so glad you're happy, and I love your attitude.

[futabachan.livejournal.com]

I transitioned.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

And we're ALL happier. ;-)

Love you!

You know this picture well

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

You have it on your Goddess Wall. moosl took that picture, and has taken many other beautiful photos of me.

When moosl left his hurtful marriage and his former home in a tearing hurry, he was going to stay with us just until he got on his feet. After a short while, I knew that was wrong. I said to him, "I want to keep you". I said to bbwoof, "I think he should stay". Not only is he still with us, but we have a two-year plan to get ourselves out of debt, find a big house, and move in beckyzoole. This is all a risk. So far, it's working out well. I know I'm very happy, and the boys seem to be as well. Love has never brought me so much joy.

Re: You know this picture well

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I'm really, truly happy for you. *hugs* if you want them.

[j00j.livejournal.com]

I went on my school's study abroad program in Germany and Austria, knowing it would be the farthest and longest I'd been away from home, and that I'd have to be speaking a foreign language (albeit one I'd some proficiency in) and living with strangers. The experience was one of the most, or even the most, remarkable and wonderful experiences in my life.

Hm, other than that, all of my risk stories seem to involve heights and various degrees of ill-advisedness (except for the wacky jaunt through the campus steam tunnel system... not high, though still vaguely inadviseable. heh. )

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Okay, what the heck were you doing in the steam tunnels? :-)

Two that felt risky at the time

[redbird]

I told cattitude that I'd fallen in love with him, despite my own startlement at the fact. That was in 1983. It took us a little while to sort out what to do next, but we've been very happy for what feels like a very long time.

I went to Paris for a week on my own, despite speaking very little French (and pronouncing it badly, since chunks of it are from books or interpolated from Spanish). I discovered that you can do a lot with yes, no, please, thank you, and a lot of nouns; it helps that I have no food allergies, so if what I ordered wasn't what I'd thought it was, I just went ahead and ate it.

They feel risky to me, too

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing them with me.

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I’ve got two. In 1980 I was living in Carbondale Illinois. I’d flunked out of school. I was drinking entirely too much and I decided to move miles and miles away to the SF Bay Area all by myself. That one worked out pretty well. I graduated from UC Berkeley. Found the loves of my life, bought a house and am doing pretty well.

My second risk was meeting this odd woman I met on a Usenet group. She drove up here from San Diego and although I knew that I loved her. I was really worried that meeting her in person wouldn’t go well and would damage the sweet long distance relationship we already had. That one worked out pretty well too.

Re:

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

You are such a sweet-talker, but who are *you* to call me odd? :-)

I love you!

Re: Risk-takers, gather 'round.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

a big and scary risk. *heh* -- they all seem to be, at the time i am contemplating them, and there are a fair number of them. almost all my major moves have been in that category -- running away from my toxic birth family at 17 and putting myself through college was a life saver, but i am not sure i ever did anything scarier -- i had been raised in a strict religious household, and was pretty darn innocent and naive about the world, not to mention emotionally screwy because my mother was a paranoid schizo. after that one, all other risks seemed not quite as bad: driving to stockholm in winter, where i didn't have a job or a place to stay, and i lived in my car for several weeks (i've never known such cold since). flying to california with only two duffle bags to escape europe after the death of my partner, just for a vacation, which turned into a decade of a half of living and working all over the country. moving to toronto, when i broke my strong guideline to never move just to be with a romantic interest, and certainly not after only knowing the person for a few months -- we're going on 9 years now, and we, uh, deserve each other. :)

i don't know about happy endings -- my life feels like it has very few actual endings; things just sort of meander. i measure the success of what i do by whether a change works well for me over some time, even if a specific thing wasn't a good idea -- it wasn't a good idea to stay in the US, for example; i never fit US society well enough, and i should have left much, much sooner. but, the things i did in the US were for the most part good for me. most of my risks have been successful in that regard. one thing i always tell myself is that i won't be stuck. if a move does not work, i can move back, or, more likely, i can move on. some place might really not work for me. heck, some relationship might not work, some job might not work. i move on. life's too short to dick around with things that don't work after i've expended my best effort.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thanks; it will not surprise you that I like your way of looking at decisionmaking.