(no subject)

[serene]

I accidentally bought fat-free half-and-half.

What the fuck is fat-free half-and-half?

(I like lcohen's guess: pasteurized air.)

Comments

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

Free range fat?

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

*laugh* There ya go.

[glitterophelia.livejournal.com]

heh. It's really weird stuff. Chemically enhanced, surely.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Yeah. Well, there'll be around ten people there. Someone's bound to think it's good stuff, and if not, I'll toss it. Bleah.

[glitterophelia.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, maybe some incredibly health conscious person will think that it will balance out them eating dessert :p

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Diluted Cool Whip.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

ewwww. is it sweet?

[brotherelf.livejournal.com]

Half air, half air?

[pameladean]

It's an altered low-fat milk product; it's got stuff like locust bean gum and other thickeners to reproduce the mouthfeel of half-and-half. My recollection is that it doesn't taste bad, but it does feel kind of odd. It's okay for baking and kind of ehhhh in
coffee. I think it's better than stuff like Coffeemate.

Pamela

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Weird. Thanks!

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

It is the diseased semen of Satan. Whatever you do, don't drink it!

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

someotherguy says I just have to put a condom on the straw.

[nmc.livejournal.com]

It's bisexual skim milk, of course.

[halibut.livejournal.com]

This would be the product of bisexual cows, yes?

[misanthropoid.livejournal.com]

Oooo, ooooo, ooo, I know this one!

Call the manufacturer and explain that you purchased it by accident and that it was not at all a product in which you were interested. Chances are that if you're not abusive they'll spot you a coupon for a free replacement.

Well, I would've.

It's skim milk, carageenen, and titanium dioxide for color (can't have that greyish skim milk color in our coffee now, can we?)

And yes, titanium dioxide is the same stuff that makes "high hiding" paints cover better.

Oh, and corn syrup

[misanthropoid.livejournal.com]

Can't forget about the corn syrup.

Hey, it's been a few years.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

wow. I think I know your answer to this, but geeze, is that even safe to consume? :-)

[misanthropoid.livejournal.com]

Perfectly safe. It's the same stuff that makes toothpaste white as well. The paint bit just gets more mileage on the "shock value" front.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

*nodnod* Thanks for the info!

Okay, up and about with me. Got food to make, barstools to put together, and about a gazillion new dishes to unpack and wash. (Of course, I'm on a total high from the bustling.)

[misanthropoid.livejournal.com]

See, I told you it wasn't oregano.

"Bustling", I've never heard it called that before.