sunday morning coming down
Jul. 30th, 2005 11:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sereneInteresting week in which Serene learns that anemia is not to be toyed with. Was nearly completely useless for a few days (went to work, but did little else). Some fun stuff and some not-so-fun:
We were walking to the coffeeshop last night, behind a man with six pizza boxes in his hands. He asked us if we were hungry, and we assumed he was joking. I said, "No, thanks, but I'll bet you're a popular guy," and he replied, "Not yet, but with twelve pizzas, I'm about to be." Then he came up to some men outside the liquor store, opened his top box, and gave them a pizza. I laughed -- "You're actually giving these away? How cool." The men asked him which local pizzeria they were from, and he said no, they were from the Cheese Board, and that's when I knew he was from Food Not Bombs -- he confirmed that by ripping open his jacket, superhero-style, and showing us his Food Not Bombs t-shirt. Just then, we came close enough to hear the live music at the coffeeshop and I was completely smitten with my neighborhood once again. And with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
someotherguy, who gets it, and shares my love for this funky little area we now call home. We're good at being happy, but Berkeley makes it easy.
stonebender took me to lunch at the Englander pub so that I could get some red meat for the craving. I loved sitting out in the summer shade with him, talking about nothing, but what amused me most was the group of gregarious folks to the side of us. Their ringleader, it appeared, was this jovial, bald, English guy who identified his group (jokingly, we think, maybe) as the Gay Vegetarians for Peace. They were funny and loud (but not too loud) and they just gave the patio at the pub a real friendly vibe, I thought. And they were passing around a flyer about stopping poverty, and they had lots bad to say about the current US regime, so how could I not adore them, drunken louts though they were?
Because I wasn't running around like crazy this week, I got to spend some time online withintenselaura and lcohen, and I got to talk on the phone for a good while with dryadgrl, and of course I got to hang out with golden_c_turtle, about which I've already written. I like having time for my friends and loved ones.
Alt.polycon comes up sooner than I can imagine. October 22-24, in San Diego, my ostensible hometown. I'm excited about it, but I wish more people were registered. We're getting nervous about making our room block. This week is when I get to start working on the food with the hotel, so when I talk with them, I'll see how our reservations are going.
I am working really hard at not taking responsibility for the success of this con. I knew when I agreed to be hotel liaison that I would not likely have the energy to be in charge of the con, or to be much more than a cheerleader, and I've been good at not taking on all the jobs that need doing, like consuite hosting and other stuff that may fall through the cracks. Still, a big part of me wants to jump in and fix stuff, but it's not my deal, and I don't need the stress of making it my deal. I love my ostensible hometown, so I'm excited at the prospect of showing it to alt.polyites, and I have lots of faith instonebender and the rest of the concom, so I'm giving myself permission to just relax and do what I've already agreed to do. This is me being relaxed. Oy.
sogwife is pretty stressed about her living situation, and I don't blame her. (She wrote about it here, so I don't think I'm breaking any confidences by babbling about it a little.) I wouldn't like crashing at other people's houses a few nights a week, or making the long commute from Santa Rosa to Oakland a couple times a week. This is another situation that a big part of me wants to jump in and fix. In a sense, it could be fixed if we all lived together, but I sincerely believe that our relationships would not survive that, and that it's doing us all a lot of good to have our separate spaces.
That said, asstonebender often says, there are few problems in my life that wouldn't be fixed by buckets of money.
If I could afford it, I could buy us separate houses or something. Simultaneous thoughts: I like who my wife is when she's taking care of herself, and she does it pretty well these days, and I like who I am when I let other people take care of themselves, and I'm learning to do that, sometimes. I just wish I didn't feel like I'm responsible for someone else's unhappiness. (someotherguy would jump in here and remind me that this is not something I'm imposing on anyone; that we're doing the best we can to keep our family together and stay happy; and that it was ultimately his decision to do things this way rather than have me move out, which I've offered to do. That doesn't mean I don't often feel like if I could just be more agreeable, things would be easier.)
So unless buckets of money fall from the sky, this is how our life will be for a while. We will live here,sogwife will live here part-time, and she will have to figure out how to make that work best for her. If that means changing jobs or residences, that will be up to her, and I wish she didn't have to worry about it at all for a while. I love her, and I want her to be happy. I just really really really really wish I could make it easy.
In other news, maybe today I will have tomatoes to eat off my plant. I have neglected it a little this week; I hope it still loves me.
We were walking to the coffeeshop last night, behind a man with six pizza boxes in his hands. He asked us if we were hungry, and we assumed he was joking. I said, "No, thanks, but I'll bet you're a popular guy," and he replied, "Not yet, but with twelve pizzas, I'm about to be." Then he came up to some men outside the liquor store, opened his top box, and gave them a pizza. I laughed -- "You're actually giving these away? How cool." The men asked him which local pizzeria they were from, and he said no, they were from the Cheese Board, and that's when I knew he was from Food Not Bombs -- he confirmed that by ripping open his jacket, superhero-style, and showing us his Food Not Bombs t-shirt. Just then, we came close enough to hear the live music at the coffeeshop and I was completely smitten with my neighborhood once again. And with
someotherguy, who gets it, and shares my love for this funky little area we now call home. We're good at being happy, but Berkeley makes it easy.stonebender took me to lunch at the Englander pub so that I could get some red meat for the craving. I loved sitting out in the summer shade with him, talking about nothing, but what amused me most was the group of gregarious folks to the side of us. Their ringleader, it appeared, was this jovial, bald, English guy who identified his group (jokingly, we think, maybe) as the Gay Vegetarians for Peace. They were funny and loud (but not too loud) and they just gave the patio at the pub a real friendly vibe, I thought. And they were passing around a flyer about stopping poverty, and they had lots bad to say about the current US regime, so how could I not adore them, drunken louts though they were?Because I wasn't running around like crazy this week, I got to spend some time online with
intenselaura and lcohen, and I got to talk on the phone for a good while with dryadgrl, and of course I got to hang out with golden_c_turtle, about which I've already written. I like having time for my friends and loved ones.Alt.polycon comes up sooner than I can imagine. October 22-24, in San Diego, my ostensible hometown. I'm excited about it, but I wish more people were registered. We're getting nervous about making our room block. This week is when I get to start working on the food with the hotel, so when I talk with them, I'll see how our reservations are going.
I am working really hard at not taking responsibility for the success of this con. I knew when I agreed to be hotel liaison that I would not likely have the energy to be in charge of the con, or to be much more than a cheerleader, and I've been good at not taking on all the jobs that need doing, like consuite hosting and other stuff that may fall through the cracks. Still, a big part of me wants to jump in and fix stuff, but it's not my deal, and I don't need the stress of making it my deal. I love my ostensible hometown, so I'm excited at the prospect of showing it to alt.polyites, and I have lots of faith in
stonebender and the rest of the concom, so I'm giving myself permission to just relax and do what I've already agreed to do. This is me being relaxed. Oy.sogwife is pretty stressed about her living situation, and I don't blame her. (She wrote about it here, so I don't think I'm breaking any confidences by babbling about it a little.) I wouldn't like crashing at other people's houses a few nights a week, or making the long commute from Santa Rosa to Oakland a couple times a week. This is another situation that a big part of me wants to jump in and fix. In a sense, it could be fixed if we all lived together, but I sincerely believe that our relationships would not survive that, and that it's doing us all a lot of good to have our separate spaces.That said, as
stonebender often says, there are few problems in my life that wouldn't be fixed by buckets of money.If I could afford it, I could buy us separate houses or something. Simultaneous thoughts: I like who my wife is when she's taking care of herself, and she does it pretty well these days, and I like who I am when I let other people take care of themselves, and I'm learning to do that, sometimes. I just wish I didn't feel like I'm responsible for someone else's unhappiness. (
someotherguy would jump in here and remind me that this is not something I'm imposing on anyone; that we're doing the best we can to keep our family together and stay happy; and that it was ultimately his decision to do things this way rather than have me move out, which I've offered to do. That doesn't mean I don't often feel like if I could just be more agreeable, things would be easier.)So unless buckets of money fall from the sky, this is how our life will be for a while. We will live here,
sogwife will live here part-time, and she will have to figure out how to make that work best for her. If that means changing jobs or residences, that will be up to her, and I wish she didn't have to worry about it at all for a while. I love her, and I want her to be happy. I just really really really really wish I could make it easy.In other news, maybe today I will have tomatoes to eat off my plant. I have neglected it a little this week; I hope it still loves me.
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