random thought

[serene]

I've noticed that I've reverted to calling my husbands/boyfriends/whatever
"partner" when I talk to other people. I think calling them my husbands
(especially when I am speaking singularly) feels like embracing my het
privilege. (Whereas calling sogwife my wife doesn't feel that
way at all, of course, so that's still what I call her.) Language is a
funny thing, inextricable from nuance.

Comments

[tesseract26.livejournal.com]

I do that, too. I'm only with a dude right now, and it's important to me to keep a piece of public queer identity. If I say partner, even if they don't parse me as a dyke, at least I keep 'em guessing.

[loracs.livejournal.com]

I've always preferred the term "partner" for stonebender and dbubley. Husband and wife just feel too "wrong" in a way that is hard to define. Those terms feel so "fifties" and so much not who either of my partners are. Or who I am to them. And "husband" also feels like the het privilege thing. I do understand how these terms are turned on their head when referring to same s*x partners but my mouth/brain just stumbles on them when referring to my own life. And they are much more than boyfriend and girlfriend. "Partner" feels more authentic to my reality.

Occasionally I get the "what kind of business are you in?" response. Sometimes I qualify it as "life partner" but if I'm feeling flirty/flippant/coyish I say "We're in the Business of LOVE, Baby!"