My hope

Jun. 15th, 2006 01:13 pm
serene: mailbox (Default)
[personal profile] serene
My hope is that this, from [livejournal.com profile] mactavish is how my family members
feel about me when I die:

[livejournal.com profile] mactavish said:

"Earlier this morning, I read a quote from Ann Druyan, who was married to
Carl Sagan when he died, and I want to save it forever. Maybe I'll frame
it:"

"If the universe is indeed 12.5 billion years old and the most
you as an individual can hope for is 100 years, and there's more billions
of years to come, the only victory is to live fully and completely, to be
totally alive every moment you're here. Do whatever you can to make this
planet less brutal and squalid. Ask questions that make a difference, work
for justice. Make your short burst of life count.

"The reason I was able to survive the grief of Carl's death is that the
authenticity of what we experienced together was so pure. I learned that
if you really love someone you should be very nice to them, because what's
really going to haunt you after they die is the times you were grumpy to
them, or didn't take an opportunity to show your love.

"If you feel like what was between you was totally cool, that you did
everything you could with the time you had, that you lived fully and
ethically, then your sadness is tempered by thankfulness."

Date: 2006-06-15 10:03 pm (UTC)
ext_481: origami crane (Default)
From: [identity profile] pir-anha.livejournal.com
I learned that if you really love someone you should be very nice to them, because what's really going to haunt you after they die is the times you were grumpy to them, or didn't take an opportunity to show your love.

so very true. i learned that when my partner G died. well, i learned it while with G, because it was simply so much more pleasant to be with somebody who would go out of zir way to be nice; not passive-aggressive "nice", but genuinely caring and considerate. and it was really driven home to me when zie died, and i thought back on the r'ship and why it had been so much better for me than any other r'ship ever before.

and i decided i would try my damndest to never again do less, and to rather let it go if it wouldn't work that way. and man, has that improved my close relationships -- i can very clearly separate them into pre-G and post-G in terms of acting in a loving way.

Date: 2006-06-16 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purpletigron.livejournal.com
What a wonderful way to remember someone. Thank you for that.

Date: 2006-06-16 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] surelars.livejournal.com
Oh, wow. This made me cry, for a lot of reasons.

Thanks for posting this.

Date: 2006-06-16 07:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] minimo.livejournal.com
That's really pretty. And yes, that's how people will feel about you when you're gone, and not just your family.
xo

Date: 2006-06-21 08:27 pm (UTC)
lcohen: (smile)
From: [personal profile] lcohen
this is a very nice distillation of how i hope i live my life with most of the people i encounter. i'm all teared up.

and you, honeybunch, are a ray of sunshine for all of us who are lucky enough to have you in our lives.

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