I want my mother to be well and happy forever and ever

[serene]

Pretty sick, but got a little bit done today: all the dishes; cleared off the "sorting table" and the dining table; cleaned off about half the kitchen island. Now I'm gonna go sit and suck on my popsicles and clip coupons.

Mom went to the doctor today.

Her infection isn't responding to the oral antibiotics, and he thinks the tissue around the mesh is infected. When that happens, they basically have to take the mesh out -- major surgery with a very painful and debilitating recovery, if the surgery to put it IN is any indication. He's going to put her in the hospital on Monday and give her IV antibiotics and see if that works, but he doesn't think it will.



I don't know what to do. My furlough starts in 3 weeks; I think I'd be allowed to move it (from june 15-august 1 to june 1-july 15), but that would mean I'd have one week to get everything in order and get down there. And if I'm gonna be gone for weeks, I would want to drag someotherguy down there with me. And what would we drive there in? And oh, man, I know my mom's gonna die some day, but I don't want it to be soon. Then again, the pain from her last surgery was SO FUCKING BAD that she wanted to die, and I don't want her to go through that again, either.

Meanwhile, my aunt (my mom's sister and best friend) lost a child in '94 to breast cancer and now has her son in the hospital with a stroke, so mom doesn't want to drag her out here, but really, she's a tonic to my mom. If my aunt comes, though, I won't want to go down there for long, because my aunt doesn't let me visit with my mom -- she sends me home to clean my mom's house, and my mom just wants me to go along with my aunt, so I end up all alone in my mom's house, scrubbing floors and doing laundry.

Angst, angst, angst!

Comments

[firecat]

I reallyreally hope the IV antibiotics work.

[jae]

Meeeee toooooo.

-J

[j00j]

*hugs* Go IV antibiotics go!

[19_crows]

I hope the IV antibiotics work!

[ailbhe]

I hope the antibiotics work. And you get to see your mom. And you and your aunt sort out some way for you to get the visiting time you need. Many hugs.

[wild_irises]

First and foremost, I hope you get better and that whatever happens with your mom doesn't fuck up your own timing on radiation and other medical stuff. I like and care about your mom, and I know what affects you affects her, but you are my people, and she is the people of my people. Just had to say that.

Second, I've heard two excellent (and surprising) medical improvement stories this week, one of which, though it is completely different than what we're hoping for with your mom, has exactly the same flavor: a friend-of-a-friend's mother, hospitalized with something that looked to last many months, and be extremely painful and life-changing, and the treatment worked way better than the doctors projected and all is well. So let's make it three!!

Love you, baby.

[nitoda]

Good luck with it all. Hope antibiotics in hospital will sort out your mom's problems.

[hel]

I hope the IV antibiotics work, and render all this angst moot.
However, if it doesn't, maybe pull your aunt aside (so your mom doesn't just tell you to go along with your aunt) and tell her you came to be with your mom, not to spend time cleaning your mom's place, and please stop telling you not to spend time with your mom? And whenever aunt tries to tell you to leave, just say the same thing over and over 'no, I want to spend time with mom, not cleaning.'