Joy in transgression

[serene]

snippy posted "Part of the fun is being transgressive", about how immature it can seem when people break the rules for the sake of breaking them. This was my response, which I liked, so I'm posting it here. I'm nothing if not self-referential.

There is an element of "Look how naughty it is to be bad!" to some of the joy in transgression that I see -- that's something that cannot, to my mind, be rationally explained or understood. It's hot to some people to break the rules. It's hot to some people to play at rape or torture or other things that are at least in part about how thrilling it can be to be naughty.

But I've seen another side to this -- it's more like, "Look how fun it is to break *bad* rules, and show people how irrelevant/wrong/stupid they are." Men can have a lot of fun wearing skirts, but that's not necessarily because wearing a skirt is fun in itself -- it's because it *can* be fun to feel the freedom of poking at people's expectations. There's no reason for a man *not* to wear a skirt, outside of social strictures that are completely without reasonable basis, but it's impossible for him to wear one where I live without attracting a fair bit of attention, and men who do it *know* this. Some of them do it because it's who they are and they are doing it in spite of the attention. Some of them do it specifically to make a statement about how absurd the strictures are in the first place, and that can be fun.

I love kissing stonebender. I get an extra joy out of kissing him in public, because I know that we challenge people's ideas of what a sexual being looks like (for those who don't know, I'm very fat, and stonebender uses a power wheelchair and is fat, as well). The kiss isn't better, but it's a political act of defiance, and not an immature defiance, either. A defiance born of joy and a vision for a better world.

Comments

[jenhowell.livejournal.com]

My favorite joyful transgression is the World Naked Bike Ride. It's wonderful to challenge society's rules regarding public nudity and the proper place of bikes all in one go. Especially with so much company!

[bastette-joyce.livejournal.com]

That sounds wonderful. It's fabulous enough to feel the wind on just my legs, when bicycling in shorts!

On the other hand, my inner nervous nellie is asking, "But what if you take a spill? OUCH, the road rash!!!"

[jenhowell.livejournal.com]

One of the men I went with actually did take a dramatic spill during the ride, when he got a little too confident in his skills and ran into a road divider. I saw the whole thing in slow-motion - you know, the kind where someone is mouthing "NOOOOOOoooooooo". But, miraculously, he came out unscathed and popped right back on the bicycle. Must be all his bouncy Shakespearian actor skills.

The WNBR is held in many cities around the world. Portland, Oregon, where I'm from, has one of the best-attended.

PDA tales

[bastette-joyce.livejournal.com]

I agree. And as a dyke I can certainly relate to the kissing-in-public for fun and shock value kind of thrill. :)

(There's also a sexual charge for a lot of people related to "will I get caught?", which doesn't really appeal to me that much - if it would really be a problem to get caught, I would probably be too anxious to enjoy it.)

(On the other hand, I once did have my girlfriend down on the carpeted floor of the empty women's bathroom in a busy hotel, in full view of the door. We were fully dressed, but also deeply liplocked. It would have been extremely embarrassing to get caught, but due to a few drinks, I wasn't overly concerned. And getting caught wasn't my motivation: horniness was.)

By the way, the spellchecker here does not recognize the word "dyke".

Re: PDA tales

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

1) Fie on the speelchucker!

2) Did it just get hot in here?

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

It's hot to some people to play at rape or torture or other things that are at least in part about how thrilling it can be to be naughty.

There are as many reasons to do BDSM as there are perverts to do it, but that one in particular tends to mark people who are not serious players. Some of us do it because it's the only way we can do what we want and still stand ourselves in the morning.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I'm no judge of who is or is not a serious player (nor do I care, really). I will say that I first heard the term "freaking the mundanes" from BDSM folk, and they continue to be the major source of that utterly irritating phrase in my hearing.

[catrinaz.livejournal.com]

i relate to wanting transgressive acts to wake people up. when i dumpster-dive in broad daylight or go out walking with two of my loves with public PDA involved or whatever 'transgressive' acts i do...i do them because they are what i want to do, because they are things i believe in doing or believe i (and others) should have a right to do. but i do them openly and publicly, rather than in the dark of night or behind closed doors, because i think it's important to shake up people's ideas of what's okay.

[i originally typed 'behind clothes doors' and wanted to note it because of the closet connection LOL]

[pure-agnostic.livejournal.com]

Yay for you breaking silly rules.

And nice that you can do it just by living.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

:-)

[stonebender.livejournal.com]

I'll be your political act of defiance anytime, babeeeeee! *smooch*