(no subject)

[serene]

So I followed a link in a locked post to the Open-source Boob Project, and here's how my thinking went:

1) Wonder if I should post to my friendslist "Yes, you may".

2) Well, but should I friends-lock it?

3) Well, but then I should really remove anyone from my friendslist that I don't want touching my boobs.

4) Well, no, because I can say no to them. But wouldn't it be funny to just post an open post saying "If I drop you from my friendslist in the next day or so, it's because I don't want you touching my boobs"?

Anyway, Yes, you can. Ask, that is. I'm likely to say "You can touch my boobs; it's no big deal."

Comments

Re: the Open-source Boob Project

[inflectionpoint.livejournal.com]

You qrote:

i am sorry, but women's breasts are not magical parts for healing con geeks' sex starvation. and this ferrett character who's apparently the spokesperson for this amazing movement for our new age in which sexism is magically dead doesn't even acknowledge, or *fuck*, REALIZE, that here be dragons.

YES! And thank you kindly.

I might be up for it if this were a deal where I get to walk up to random guyz and ask to grab their cocks, and talk about how that's part of my healing and empowerment to get random access to their bodies. Strangely, that doesn't seem to be something ferrett would be all right with.

I'm really upset by his post, he has managed to hit darn near every space on the sexism bingo card that reduces women to objects and providers of a thing called sex while men are agents who do things and make choices. This makes me sad.

Because I do like some of the more free swinging kinds of touch and gatherings where that can happen. But I don't do that or go there until I've built a structure in which there can be meaningful consent and meaningful yeses and noes. (And I've helped build one place where that does happen and I'm working on another now.) But what ferrett is talking about... isn't that at least not how I'm reading it.

Damn. I'd like that happy fun free swinging world. But it won't manifest till we deal with sexism. I wish we could make sexism vanish by pretending it has vanished, but that strategy doesn't seem to be working for anyone I know.

And serene, this is my reaction to ferret's post. I hope I am clear it's about his post and not about you. I don't want to be telling you what to do with your body, cos it doesn't beling to me. (I was there for that day in third grade...)

I want you to be able to do whatever you want with your body, same as I can do whatever I want with mine. But ferret's context... yeeech. I hadta say something.

Re: the Open-source Boob Project

[maestrodog.livejournal.com]

where I get to walk up to random guyz and ask to grab their cocks

The problem with this is that you phrase it in such a way as to make it sound derogatory. I'd be offended too if someone came up to me with a question like that. I'd expect most women would be offended as well if some guy whistled and sauntered to a woman and asked if he could "grab her hot gazongas".

But if someone came up to me and asked, "I think you're a beautiful person and have a lovely penis, would it be all right if I touched it?" Then I certainly would be much more amenable to saying yes.

[sistercoyote.livejournal.com]

It's "The Open-Source Boob Project"

Is "boob" somehow less derogatory than "cock"?

And now, to prove my own, I don't know, hypocrisy?, I present my "boobie" icon.

[maestrodog.livejournal.com]

That's actually a really good question. I don't personally think so, but I can see other women might. Similarly, I don't think "balls" is any more derogatory than "testicles." But I think the "grab" part is really what makes it derogatory, rather than boob or breast. "Can I grab your penis?" isn't much better for me than "Can I grab your cock?" Does "May I touch your lovely boobs?" sound any more derogatory to you than "May I touch your lovely breasts?"

[sistercoyote.livejournal.com]

Does "May I touch your lovely boobs?" sound any more derogatory to you than "May I touch your lovely breasts?"

No, although my answer to the latter would undoubtedly be "no" (barring context) and my answer to the former would probably be to point at my friends and say, "I don't know, you'll have to ask them."

(And I agree that the word "grab" is the problematic one in that sentence.)