(no subject)

[serene]

So I followed a link in a locked post to the Open-source Boob Project, and here's how my thinking went:

1) Wonder if I should post to my friendslist "Yes, you may".

2) Well, but should I friends-lock it?

3) Well, but then I should really remove anyone from my friendslist that I don't want touching my boobs.

4) Well, no, because I can say no to them. But wouldn't it be funny to just post an open post saying "If I drop you from my friendslist in the next day or so, it's because I don't want you touching my boobs"?

Anyway, Yes, you can. Ask, that is. I'm likely to say "You can touch my boobs; it's no big deal."

Comments

Re: the Open-source Boob Project

[maestrodog.livejournal.com]

to accost a woman - regardless of what she was wearing - and ask her for permission to violate her personal space.

This, again, is a matter of individual interpretation.

To me, the word "accost" carries negative connotations, like a beggar pestering you unendingly for more money after already receiving some, or solicitation of a hooker. Would you consider yourself "accosted" if someone stopped you merely to mention that he thought you looked pretty, and left it at that?

Also, touching a breast being "a violation of your personal space" is something you choose to see as such. There is nothing wrong with that choice. But it's not the only view of choice. Other women may feel different, or may choose differently. And how is anyone supposed to know which side of the fence a woman is on with that issue except by asking? And only once, and in a way that is perfectly sweet and polite, IMHO.

Now, asking a second time, or attempting to detain a woman further, I would totally agree with you that it WOULD be a violation of personal space.

As for the matter of finance, what event ever turns out exactly as expected? If someone pays to go to a specific workshop, gets that workshop, and some consensual boob grabbing happens in their vicinity in the meantime, how are they personally violated? Unless they are held in place and forced to watch it, I don't see how that particular argument holds water. Especially with the sort of people who normally attend cons who would be more open to such actions...shouldn't that be almost expected? In any place where there are large crowds, there will inevitably be some PDA going on.

Re: the Open-source Boob Project

[sistercoyote.livejournal.com]

I'm failing linguistically today. I simply could not come up with (and am still having trouble coming up with) the word I wanted other than "accost," because I am perfectly cognizant of its negative connotations. "Approach" is closer, but still not quite what I'm going for.

If the questioner is polite, as your phrasings in other comments have been, and if there is no pressure (which every person is going to define differently, so I'm not going to try) to say "yes," then I don't have a problem with a woman (or man, for that matter), saying "yes." cf. my comment about However, as I mention elsewhere, unwelcome touching with or without initial inquiry is a recorded problem at conventions, and this does nothing to dissuade those already possessing the attitude that "persons exist for my pleasure to touch as I wish" from following that inclination. I also disagree that "...the sort of people who normally attend cons...would be more open to such actions," and I definitely disagree that this sort of objectification of anyone should be expected, let alone condoned.

There's a difference between a PDA and some random stranger coming up and asking to touch someone. For me, it's a huge difference. It might not be quite so large for someone else, but there's still a difference. I can't stop anyone from making my body the object of their fantasy, if they are so inclined, but I do object to the idea of being asked to a) know that said person is fantasizing about me, and b) consenting to being reduced to a physical embodiment of that fantasy instead of a person.

Now. That said, if you and I were having a stimulating and somewhat flirtatious/erotic conversation and you popped this question, or if we knew each other previously, it would change the context of the request significantly and change my reaction to it. (Although I'm not sure: If we were just chatting and you asked the question as you phrased it above out of the blue, I might start to wonder if you had just been talking to me to get your hands on them.)

Again: I have no problem with PDAs. I have no problem with what people do with their own bodies. I just think that the OSBP is poorly thought-out and I really, really hope it doesn't spread. Between friends? Fine. Between strangers who are trying to get in each other's pants? Fine. As a movement towards "sexual freedom"? Bull.