Learning to say no

[serene]

[Edit: wtfpotatoes, someotherguy, and stonebender are exempt from this announcement. ;-) ]

It's hard for me to say no to anything short of things that are repulsive to me. If I do make the effort to say No to something, it's often fairly easy to change my mind, because I've used up all my no-saying energy in saying no the first time. One reason is that I really LOVE my friends, and everything they want me to do with/for/near them sounds so appealing!

All of which is a prelude to the following announcement:

The answer is "no".

No, I don't have time/energy to get together soon.

No, I can't type that document for you right now.

No, I just can't make toffee this week.

No, I am not currently looking for editing gigs (though I will be this summer).

Help me out with this, will you? And if I accidentally say yes to you because we've both forgotten that I need a break, please be sweet to me when I say, "Oh, shit, I goofed -- I meant to say 'no'!"

Comments

[violet-tigress1.livejournal.com]

Saying no is really hard to do.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

I agree. Even when I really, really don't want to do something, never mind when I do want to.

Serene, good luck!

[loveberry.livejournal.com]

Me too.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to say that reading this makes me feel guilty about Monday night, which I don't think is what you intended.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

So very not. Monday was *great*, as was the slideshow thing. But most social stuff isn't as easy for me as that stuff was (for instance, the dinner after the slideshow was harder because of the added element). Family's easier for me to deal with than non-family, no matter how much I like the non-family person, and I'm not sure exactly why.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

here! you can practice!

serene, can you walk to minnesota and then do my dishes for me?

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Hee! Do you know how much I wish I were in a position to do just that? :-)

[maestrodog.livejournal.com]

Do you want to get together soon?

Can you type a document for me now?

Will you make some toffee this week?

Any chance you are looking for any editing gigs?

:) :)

re: Learning to say no

[betonica.livejournal.com]

Hey - do me a favor, and say no to everything?

It is really tough. I managed to make a rule for myself that I would accept *no* volunteer work unless it was fire or rescue. And was successful! So now I'm overbooked with fire & rescue work. Not that it isn't fun, but....

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

I call it "sitting on my hands" and I am working hard at it in order to have a better year at work next year than I had this one. Everything is just so damned interesting, but that way lie dragons.

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

Go, you! This is a lesson I've been struggling with for years... please do let me know if/when you figure out the key to doing it without feeling badly!

By the way... I might be looking for a few editing gigs, if you're looking for someone to send jobs towards while you're deflecting them. I'm willing (heck, happy to) deal with smut and such.

[aquenigmatic.livejournal.com]

What you said. Freaking awesome.

[clever-doberman.livejournal.com]

you are so fucking cool.

I have NO expectations of you. how's that for love?

[firecat]

Say yes to no! :)