Updateishness
Jul. 16th, 2011 11:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sereneHi, all. I've been reading, but rarely commenting except to say "Yay!" or "Oh, no!" to your posts. This is one of those long, laundry-list updates that I like to let you opt into, so it's going behind cuts.
I think the big crises are over for now. I HOPE the big crises are over for now. Betty's death is immensely sad, and there's nothing to be done for that but waiting it out. Carol and Guy have colds. I thought I had one, too, but maybe not. The kid is still in pain, and we had a big fight the day she came home, so she's still barely talking to me, which honestly, I'm gonna count as a win right now, because I have only the tiniest bit of energy left for taking care of people. My mom is doing well, especially now that she's sent my nephew home to his parents. He was kind of squatting at mom's after a fight with his dad, and she had to remind him that he's allowed to visit, but not live there, unless he's working or going to school. What is it with these two kids, where you have to force them to get out and have lives? I fucking HATE my sister for raising them to feel like the best thing to do is to curl up in a ball and let people take care of you. At their age, I was so excited about the future. The two of them are sad and lonely and pessimistic and tired. It breaks my heart.
I start school in late September, just after my 45th birthday. I was really excited about it before the storm of crises happened; I'm sure I'll get excited again. Right now, I'm trying to plan ahead for keeping the household running when I'm gone so much. I'll be doing my regular schedule at work, compressed into three full days, and going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which because of the long commute, will be full days, as well. Weekends will be for seeing Guy and studying. Nights will be for studying. So James and I are figuring out ways to make things easier. For one, he'll take over a lot of the housework, what we bother doing of it. And I'll do a once-a-month cooking day to fill the freezer with easy meals (yes, he could just take over making dinners, but I like the idea of doing the freezer-meals thing to make everyone's weeknights easier, and it'll mean we don't have bologna sandwiches or hot dogs for dinner as often. He's a good cook, but doesn't enjoy it the way I do).
So if I'll be at work or school all day every weekday, and have five classes to study for (including two online classes), I don't think there's any way to do all the other stuff I dabble in every day, at least not for the next year or so. Right now, I'm not going to make any firm decisions, but I thought I'd list the things I currently spend my time and effort on, and maybe some thoughts about how important it is to me to continue it, etc.
Parenting the kid: I think this is coming to a close. She'll be twenty in January. She's becoming difficult to live with. She's enrolled in school starting in August, so I see two possibilities: She'll stay in school and start taking care of herself with a little help from me; or she'll drop out again and I'll kick her out. Either way, I've been pulling back from the helping, because it eats up my time and psychic energy. For instance, I'm making her deal with the insurance stuff for her recent hospital visit, but I've offered to help if she gets stuck. Stuff like that, that I would have just done by myself in the past.
Blogs:
This one: Yeah, this one's not going anywhere. I started my LJ in 2001, and transitioned to DW what, last year or something? And in good times and bad, this is where I come to talk to my friends.
The Mom Food Project: I have such great affection for this project, and it's almost a year old. I'd like to find a way to keep it going this year, but I'm worried that I won't. It's the only blog I do that kind of requires actual photos and writing and planning and stuff. Maybe I could make a bunch of posts in advance before my furlough is over?
TWIN: Virtually no effort is required for this one, and no one reads it yet, really, so I'll just keep it
Kick-ass Gimps: It's intended to be a group blog anyway, so I'll keep it up and if it takes off, cool; if not, no biggy.
Laundry: Right now, we take a laundry trip every week that takes us about three hours including walking there and back. Weekends are suboptimal because everyone else is doing it then. But we really like the thing as a date. I don't know what to do about this one. Buy an apartment washer/dryer combo (we have no hookups)? Let James be in charge of laundry? Pay to have someone else do the laundry?
Food shopping and cooking: I think the once-a-month thing will take care of this, and then James takes a daily walk and can pick up miscellaneous produce and eggs and stuff as we need them.
Social life: Hah. As if. Thinking of having a farewell party for it soon. I do plan on budgeting the time and money for a weekly soak at the local hot tub, probably on Sunday late mornings, along with a cheap Chinese lunch after, because I've been doing that on and off withwild_irises and others, and it's HUGELY beneficial to my wellbeing. So I guess if you want to see me and don't mind seeing me naked, that's the place to meet up with me. :-)
Walking (for fun and exercise): I'm thinking I'll do a lot of walking at school, because each class is on the opposite side of campus from the previous one, and there are lots of stairs. On the weekend, I really want to say "yes" to my boyfriends whenever they ask if I want to take a walk.
I'm tired and sad. I don't want to continue to be tired and sad, but I feel like it's situational, and will get better. I am really very (very!) glad I was on furlough when shit blew up in this family, because it meant I could help out without missing work, and the people who were working could continue to do that. Still, I'm sorry that once again, I got no rest on my furlough (previous years, I've gone down to San Diego to help my mom after one surgery or another).
I'm stressed about whether it's the right time to go off to school, but I'm not dumb enough to think there'll be a better time. My kid is grown (whether she realizes it or not); my job situation is stable and part-time enough to allow school; my financial aid is taken care of; and dammit, I want this. So that's stressy but not up for negotiation unless something really dire happens. Oh, man, I hope nothing really dire happens!
I think the big crises are over for now. I HOPE the big crises are over for now. Betty's death is immensely sad, and there's nothing to be done for that but waiting it out. Carol and Guy have colds. I thought I had one, too, but maybe not. The kid is still in pain, and we had a big fight the day she came home, so she's still barely talking to me, which honestly, I'm gonna count as a win right now, because I have only the tiniest bit of energy left for taking care of people. My mom is doing well, especially now that she's sent my nephew home to his parents. He was kind of squatting at mom's after a fight with his dad, and she had to remind him that he's allowed to visit, but not live there, unless he's working or going to school. What is it with these two kids, where you have to force them to get out and have lives? I fucking HATE my sister for raising them to feel like the best thing to do is to curl up in a ball and let people take care of you. At their age, I was so excited about the future. The two of them are sad and lonely and pessimistic and tired. It breaks my heart.
I start school in late September, just after my 45th birthday. I was really excited about it before the storm of crises happened; I'm sure I'll get excited again. Right now, I'm trying to plan ahead for keeping the household running when I'm gone so much. I'll be doing my regular schedule at work, compressed into three full days, and going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which because of the long commute, will be full days, as well. Weekends will be for seeing Guy and studying. Nights will be for studying. So James and I are figuring out ways to make things easier. For one, he'll take over a lot of the housework, what we bother doing of it. And I'll do a once-a-month cooking day to fill the freezer with easy meals (yes, he could just take over making dinners, but I like the idea of doing the freezer-meals thing to make everyone's weeknights easier, and it'll mean we don't have bologna sandwiches or hot dogs for dinner as often. He's a good cook, but doesn't enjoy it the way I do).
So if I'll be at work or school all day every weekday, and have five classes to study for (including two online classes), I don't think there's any way to do all the other stuff I dabble in every day, at least not for the next year or so. Right now, I'm not going to make any firm decisions, but I thought I'd list the things I currently spend my time and effort on, and maybe some thoughts about how important it is to me to continue it, etc.
Parenting the kid: I think this is coming to a close. She'll be twenty in January. She's becoming difficult to live with. She's enrolled in school starting in August, so I see two possibilities: She'll stay in school and start taking care of herself with a little help from me; or she'll drop out again and I'll kick her out. Either way, I've been pulling back from the helping, because it eats up my time and psychic energy. For instance, I'm making her deal with the insurance stuff for her recent hospital visit, but I've offered to help if she gets stuck. Stuff like that, that I would have just done by myself in the past.
Blogs:
This one: Yeah, this one's not going anywhere. I started my LJ in 2001, and transitioned to DW what, last year or something? And in good times and bad, this is where I come to talk to my friends.
The Mom Food Project: I have such great affection for this project, and it's almost a year old. I'd like to find a way to keep it going this year, but I'm worried that I won't. It's the only blog I do that kind of requires actual photos and writing and planning and stuff. Maybe I could make a bunch of posts in advance before my furlough is over?
TWIN: Virtually no effort is required for this one, and no one reads it yet, really, so I'll just keep it
Kick-ass Gimps: It's intended to be a group blog anyway, so I'll keep it up and if it takes off, cool; if not, no biggy.
Laundry: Right now, we take a laundry trip every week that takes us about three hours including walking there and back. Weekends are suboptimal because everyone else is doing it then. But we really like the thing as a date. I don't know what to do about this one. Buy an apartment washer/dryer combo (we have no hookups)? Let James be in charge of laundry? Pay to have someone else do the laundry?
Food shopping and cooking: I think the once-a-month thing will take care of this, and then James takes a daily walk and can pick up miscellaneous produce and eggs and stuff as we need them.
Social life: Hah. As if. Thinking of having a farewell party for it soon. I do plan on budgeting the time and money for a weekly soak at the local hot tub, probably on Sunday late mornings, along with a cheap Chinese lunch after, because I've been doing that on and off with
wild_irises and others, and it's HUGELY beneficial to my wellbeing. So I guess if you want to see me and don't mind seeing me naked, that's the place to meet up with me. :-)Walking (for fun and exercise): I'm thinking I'll do a lot of walking at school, because each class is on the opposite side of campus from the previous one, and there are lots of stairs. On the weekend, I really want to say "yes" to my boyfriends whenever they ask if I want to take a walk.
I'm tired and sad. I don't want to continue to be tired and sad, but I feel like it's situational, and will get better. I am really very (very!) glad I was on furlough when shit blew up in this family, because it meant I could help out without missing work, and the people who were working could continue to do that. Still, I'm sorry that once again, I got no rest on my furlough (previous years, I've gone down to San Diego to help my mom after one surgery or another).
I'm stressed about whether it's the right time to go off to school, but I'm not dumb enough to think there'll be a better time. My kid is grown (whether she realizes it or not); my job situation is stable and part-time enough to allow school; my financial aid is taken care of; and dammit, I want this. So that's stressy but not up for negotiation unless something really dire happens. Oh, man, I hope nothing really dire happens!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-17 03:39 am (UTC)Wishing your kid good luck and grownup vibes.