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May. 27th, 2007 10:36 pmSomeone asked elsewhere whether condoms were ever an emotional barrier in committed poly relationships. My answer:
Condoms are never, for me, an emotional barrier. They're a piece of (usually) latex, a physical barrier, and basically at their root (heh) a medical precaution.
That said, there are people for whom I'm willing to get sick -- I'll kiss my partners when they have a bad cold, while I wouldn't have dinner with a friend in the same circumstance. In much the same way, I'm willing to risk disease (even serious disease) for people I love deeply, and so those people are more likely to be people with whom I decide condoms are not necessary between us. (If they're having barrier-free sex with other people, then I will use barriers with them, and it doesn't mean I love them any less. It just means I'm not willing to risk disease for someone I'm not in love with, including the partners of the people I love.)
Condoms are never, for me, an emotional barrier. They're a piece of (usually) latex, a physical barrier, and basically at their root (heh) a medical precaution.
That said, there are people for whom I'm willing to get sick -- I'll kiss my partners when they have a bad cold, while I wouldn't have dinner with a friend in the same circumstance. In much the same way, I'm willing to risk disease (even serious disease) for people I love deeply, and so those people are more likely to be people with whom I decide condoms are not necessary between us. (If they're having barrier-free sex with other people, then I will use barriers with them, and it doesn't mean I love them any less. It just means I'm not willing to risk disease for someone I'm not in love with, including the partners of the people I love.)