(no subject)

[serene]

Still feeling mildly hung over from the past week. The munchkins' dad needs a triple bypass, but his diabetes numbers are so high that they can't operate right now. I'm also having a difficult situation at home, whose details I don't want to talk about here (if you're one of those people I talk about this sort of thing with, I'd be okay with elaborating in email), but I don't mind saying it's causing me no small amount of brain drain.

Essentially, I feel like my mind is wrapped in gauze, because there's this problem I can't see a solution to, and there's this other problem whose solution depends on someone's doing something they don't want to do, and I just want my smart brain and emotional intelligence to be able to fucking SOLVE things, not just smoothe them over when they come up. It is *very* frustrating to be a person who feels pretty good at finding solutions, and then to come upon a problem that despite all efforts remains unsolved, or whose solution is different depending on whom you ask, or whose compromise solution feels better-than-nothing to some parties and worse-than-nothing to others.

(I know it would be easier if I talked about details, but y'all can't help me with the details. I just need to rant a little, and let folks know why I'm really not connected to my world and my friends at the moment.)

Comments

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

Seeble!

[kightp.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, do I ever know what you mean on the problem-solving front. There's stuff in my life right now that not only can I not solve, but it isn't even my place to try, and it makes me feel like I'm smacking my head against a brick wall. Best I can do is offer vague handwavy "there, there" motions and try not to feel like a hapless dork.

Um, so here, have some of those; I've got plenty to spare: "There, there."

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Perfect as usualy, my dear friend.

[redbird]

I've got some of that, with a side order of "and even if it were mine to solve, I don't know how." *hugs* to both you and Serene.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

Perhaps what you need is not a solution, but a *process* for reaching a better solution. Maybe you should talk to alanbostick about process work - it's what he's studying in grad school, and he may be able to steer you toward resources.

I've used the ideas myself and found them *very* helpful. And it's designed to work with all the people in the group.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I think what we're doing is working pretty well -- we're talking and listening and coming up with good compromises for the short run and perhaps the long run -- but the core is that we want different things in the ideal case, and so no one is going to get exactly what they want, no matter what. I think we're dealing pretty well with that reality, but it still makes me want to scream sometimes.

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Reality is a bitch like that sometimes. :/ I'm sorry, & I hope things start to feel more normal again soon.

[ptigris.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it has been about this last week in general, but it seems as if most everyone I know has been having a hard time.

Are the planets misaligned or something funky like that?

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's the midwinter blues.

[sagittaria.livejournal.com]

Best wishes and good thoughts coming your way.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

well, i adore you even when you are stressed.

if you want to send me email, you can, or else you don't have to.

either way i will occasionally glance to the southwest and think glowingly of you.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

You are such a dear darling, and I don't tell you that enough. Thank you.

(Found the card from one of the CDs you sent me during a previous (typo precious) hard time I had, while I was cleaning out paper drawers on Saturday, and I sniffled and smiled and then bawled. I have such incredibly good friends.)

[dbubley.livejournal.com]

I'm not the kind of people problem solver that you are, but I do understand. There's a word I took from AlAnon that I've often used as a mantra - detachment. Being a Sci-Fi person, I often picture it as my section of the ship undocking, and backing a safe space away, but staying in communication. I find that when I reach a place where I can detach and breathe, then my thinking has room to come out and be looked at. If the mothership explodes, and you can't prevent that from happening, you can at least save yourself (whether you want to or not in the middle of whatever grief falls your way).

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

This is very good advice, and a good visual for me. Thank you!

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Email me if you want, dear one.

As for Lynn's recommendation for process work, it really might help in (what I know of) this situation.

*hug*

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

I know the frustration all too well...

Please, don't beat yourself up for being human. You're a good human, but humans are limited, and sometimes our best efforts will come to nothing.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Yep. Thanks.

[pure-agnostic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can understand. I've got some problems that are in need of a solution soon. I'm sure you can figure a way out for yourself and your loved ones.

[lysana.livejournal.com]

I know nothing about the situation, but you know I like all y'all and hope you can reach a conclusion everyone can at least deal with.