(no subject)

[serene]

One thing that makes a downer less down-ish is to do housework and play you some Nanci, if you're me. Also, if you're me tonight, your partners are off having their anniversary date, so you have a rare opportunity to play Nanci without headphones.



I'm nursing a melancholy bummer. Had a lovely date with stonebender last night -- dinner was wonderful, the movie was good (Quinceanera, you should see it) and then I started crying and have been doing that on and off since.

In the movie, a really nice old uncle takes in his troubled niece and nephew and makes their lives better, accepting them completely as they are.

I want to be that for my niblings, and I'm not. Life is not the movies. I don't have a home of my own and two mellow niblings. I have a mom who can afford to do what I can't, though that means my niblings remain with their parent, who just isn't good at the parenting thing.

Please don't tell me I've done all I can -- I haven't. But I've done all I'm willing to, and I get to live with the sadness and self-doubt that accompany that.

And sometimes I get to cry for days wishing I could find a way to do more without causing more harm than good. To them or to me.

Comments

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Awww. Sometimes crying is just needed.