spare me

[serene]

Please, oh great universe that never listens to me anyway,
please-oh-please spare me from people who think it's funny to call people
pussies when they mean "sorry-ass weaklings."

And then get all condescending and pat you on the shoulder while they ask
you what they *should* say, dear.

"Kitty. Would that work? Kitty? How about wuss?"

"Listen. If you mean weakling, say weakling. Don't use misogynistic
language, especially not in the workplace."

Yeesh.

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I've made people, in contexts where it would be acceptable to do so, look at me funny when I've said, "What, he's wet and tasty?" (for pussy) or "what, she's deep, luscious, and welcoming?" (for cunt) But that's not appropriate in most workplaces. And of course, it always has to be followed by something like, "Why would you use something that refers to a nice part of someone's nice body to mean something negative?" when the offender paws at the air and clearly doesn't get it.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

You rock.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful.

Words are for the Monkees

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of on the fence about this one but how come you never see (or I never see, I should say) anyone complain about someone being called a dick or a prick or a dickhead when they mean someone who is mean, indifferent, rude or unfeeling? Surely that's as uh... what's the opposite of misogynistic? as pussy is misogynistic.

Oh, and the reason I'm on the fence about this one is that etymologically, pussy meant soft and rabbitlike way before it meant vagina. And when you are calling someone a pussy you are basically calling them soft and rabbitlike.

On the other hand though, pussy is supposed to mean soft in a pleasing way like a pussy willow is all soft instead of the harsh willow or a pussy cat is all snuggly unlike a non snuggly cat.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I don't have the energy to tell you why insulting men isn't as bad as insulting women, but I don't call people dicks when I mean they're being jerks, either.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

I always assumed that 'jerk' was derived from masturbation?

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Sometime when you do have the energy, I'd like to hear that. At the moment, I disagree, and I respect you more than enough to want to know your answer.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I have the energy to talk to you about it, but not to Caleb. I have no energy for telling men how they should treat women today. I used it up on my cow-orker.

In short, my insulting a man (if I were the sort to do that, and in general, I'm not) is not as bad as a man insulting me, especially if sexually derogatory terms are used, because my insult does not carry the force of social history and custom.

That social history and custom is that men are more powerful than I, because they're men. I am less important than they, because I'm a woman. And they have the social sanction to turn their insulting language to violence. Their verbal nastiness has threat and fear in it, because the society they live in gives them power over women. When they use "pussy" to mean "weakling" they are not using hyperbole. Women *are* weak(er) in this world we grew up in, and I feel an undercurrent of smug evil in the perpetuation of that mindset, even if it's meant to be a toothless jest.

This may seem like overreaction to some (chiefly, men who think I'm calling them misogynist when I point out that they are unthinkingly perpetuating a hurtful and mysoginistic language tic), but I don't see it as an overreaction (but then I wouldn't, would I?). I see it as a reasonable reaction to a genuine problem that needs addressing.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[klwalton.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of on the fence about this one but how come you never see (or I never see, I should say) anyone complain about someone being called a dick or a prick or a dickhead when they mean someone who is mean, indifferent, rude or unfeeling?

Then you've not been around me when someone has used the term.

Oh, and the reason I'm on the fence about this one is that etymologically, pussy meant soft and rabbitlike way before it meant vagina. And when you are calling someone a pussy you are basically calling them soft and rabbitlike.

No, you're calling them weak and woman-like, and unmanly. The problem with that is it has now come to mean what it means, and in the context of it being used as a pejorative, etymology doesn't mean a thing. It is, now, using the slang term for a female body part as a dysphemism to express derision.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[mhw.livejournal.com]

what's the opposite of misogynistic?

Misandric.

pussy meant soft and rabbitlike way before it meant vagina

http://www.idiocentrism.com/puss.htm

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

Hey neat link!

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I don't use "dick" or "prick." Sometimes I use "asshat."

I'm trying to get over using "fucking asshole."

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[flippac.livejournal.com]

While I agree with your basic point re prick, dickhead etc, the fact they're at best middle-grade whereas cunt is the big one says a lot.

Re: Words are for the Monkees

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

Cunt is the big one. But Pussy isn't. In Yiddish Schmuck is the big one but somehow Putz isn't, even though they both mean Dick. I've never understood that.

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Did you kill the person in question? Why not?

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Heh. Because he's cute and he's a man, of course. We pussies can't survive without our men around, now, can we?

*giggle*

*hairtoss*

[elissaann.livejournal.com]

Actually, "day-old kitten" (NOT kitty, as the average cat that I have met is no weakling) would be perfect, if one wanted to be metaphorical.

[trinker.livejournal.com]

To all of our efforts leading to that world!

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Amen.

Hey, can you send me an email if you get this?

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

Oh.

I thought it came from pussy as in pussy cat, you can say someone is a "real pussy cat" meaning a pushover and then I assumed it was shortened to pussy still keeping the weak as a kitten argument?

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

Nope. Not here (in the western US), anyway.

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

Ah right, fair enough. Though his follow-up suggestion of "kitty" might indicate he was thinking along feline rather than female lines. I hate any gender-related insults, regardless.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I think he may have been backpedalling, but regardless, if most people think cunt when they think pussy, then pussy cannot escape gendered tone, I think.

[rsc.livejournal.com]

Is there a misogynistic origin for "wuss"? It occurs to me that I have no idea where the word comes from, but I never associated it with femaleness.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I always understood it to be a compression of wimp/pussy, but someone may correct me on that.

[firecat]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Pussy#Wuss
says there's no evidence for that.

[artemii.livejournal.com]

wuss
1984, from wussy (1960s), probably an alteration of pussy.

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=wuss

---

wuss
n. Slang

A person regarded as weak or timid and especially as unmanly: “Cats are for wusses, dog men say” (Laura Blumenfeld).


[Probably blend of wimp, and pussy1.]

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=wuss

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I stand enlightened. Thanks.

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

See, this is why I prefer "nebbish".

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I love the word, but I'll confess to not knowing its origin. Do you? I may google it if work lets up for a minute.

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

It's yiddish for, uh, someone wishy-washy. I think. I don't think it's a gendered insult.

[serenejournal.livejournal.com]

I think from the stuff I've googled that it is gendered: http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-neb1.htm

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

Only in the sense that Yiddish is a gendered language. But the term can be used for both men and women, just as "mensch" can.

[cassidyrose.livejournal.com]

Grrr.

[johnpalmer.livejournal.com]

"Pussy" is one bit of slang that I dislike in myself, because that was what it meant when I was growing up: pathetic weakling. It's the first word that comes to mind when I want to describe something like that. At the time, I was sure it meant "cat". "Oh, you're just as scrawny and weak as a little pussy cat!"

I can understand a person being upset that the word has been "stolen" to mean girlie bits. I think it really sucks that the etymology could go either way (i.e.: "Girlie man" or "wimpy as a pussy cat"). Honestly, English needs a word for "contempt-worthy weakling" that doesn't have a double meaning like that.

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

Honestly, English needs a word for "contempt-worthy weakling" that doesn't have a double meaning like that.

Such a pity that "Bush" has gender-specific connotations, too...

[redandfiery.livejournal.com]

*splork*

*wipes coffee off monitor*